I'm glad I didn't have to fight in any war. I'm glad I didn't have to pick up a gun. I'm glad I didn't get killed or kill somebody. I hope my kids enjoy the same lack of manhood.
God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
Intimacy is what makes a marriage, not a ceremony, not a piece of paper from the state.
We are made to persist. That's how we find out who we are.
It pays to be obvious, especially if you have a reputation for subtlety.
When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it.
I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks.