I never know how much of what I say is true.
What can you say about a society that says that God is dead and Elvis is alive?
A hypocrite is a person who--but who isn't?
Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
In America, they want you to accomplish these great feats, to pull off these David Copperfield-type stunts. You want me to be great, but you don't ever want me to say I'm great?
Newspapermen learn to call a murderer 'an alleged murderer' and the King of England 'the alleged King of England' to avoid libel suits.
Experience is a good teacher, but she send in terrific bills.