Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
There is still a difference between something and nothing, but it is purely geometrical and there is nothing behind the geometry.
Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt of, not swallowed.
Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what's for lunch.
A hypocrite is a person who--but who isn't?
After the last of 16 mounting screws has been removed from an access cover, it will be discovered that the wrong access cover has been removed.
We may not imagine how our lives could be more frustrating and complex--but Congress can.