Statistics: The only science that enables different experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions.
If you would thoroughly know anything, teach it to others.
The Americans have need of the telephone, but we do not. We have plenty of messenger boys.
When you close your doors, and make darkness within, remember never to say that you are alone, for you are not alone; nay, God is within, and your genius is within. And what need have they of light to see what you are doing?
I shouted, and earned a hard thump on my head for my trouble.
We've got to get my friend to a hospital --"
Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.