I despise the pleasure of pleasing people that I despise.
Better shun the bait, than struggle in the snare.
Seize opportunity by the beard, for it is bald behind.
After the last of 16 mounting screws has been removed from an access cover, it will be discovered that the wrong access cover has been removed.
Never be a cynic, even a gentle one. Never help out a sneer, even at the devil.
To lengthen thy life, lessen thy meals.
I wrote myself a check for ten million dollars for acting services rendered and dated it Thanksgiving 1995. I put it in my wallet and it deteriorated. And then, just before Thanksgiving 1995, I found out I was going to make ten million dollars for Dumb & Dumber. I put that check in the casket with my father because it was our dream together.