Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
I never think of the future - it comes soon enough.
Go through your phone book, call people and ask them to drive you to the airport. The ones who will drive you are your true friends. The rest aren't bad people; they're just acquaintances.
Liberals are very broadminded: they are always willing to give careful consideration to both sides of the same side.
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
The whole dream of democracy is to raise the proletarian to the level of stupidity attained by the bourgeois.
Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.
In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
No one goes there nowadays, it's too crowded.