What if this weren't a hypothetical question?
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
Prove all things; hold fast that which is good.
Do not envy a sinner; you don't know what disaster awaits him.
Never does the human soul appear so strong and noble as when it foregoes revenge and dares to forgive an injury.
Nothing is more conducive to peace of mind than not having any opinions at all.
To avoid situations in which you might make mistakes may be the biggest mistake of all.
If there's one thing I know it's God does love a good joke.
He who boasts of his ancestry is praising the deeds of another.