Once I wrote to feel that achievement after finishing a piece I was proud of.
Oh, do not get me wrong. It is absolutely fantastic to know that your eyes start tearing when you think of me, and of how soon we will see each other. It is absolutely fantastic, yes. What is not so fantastic is the fact that my darn computer started making those buzzing noises again, as if to remind me that some things never change. What is it that never changes? Well, in my case those would be the same familiar surroundings we grew up with, the same people and the very same events. The routine school day, which makes me extremely depressed once I reach the sofa at 2 p.m. after an extremely long walk in the fiery hot sun. The very same expressions, the boring conversations that seem to extend to eternity, the math class in that shitty-orange painted classroom. The P.E. class, a true suicidal trip, in a sticky, sweaty, old gym painted in all those yellowy blues. The same market every Thursday morning, the same old women smelling of sweat and chicken coops, the same woman on a pink bike. The same darn pair of jeans, the same café, the same two scoops of ice cream.
It’s not that I’m complaining, really. It would be quite unpleasant and utterly boring if all I ever did was complain.
I’m just curious. What’s beyond all this. And how do the other people, without the špagica these ones have followed for years, live.
It works, you know. It really does.
As I said, I’m way past complaining. Right now, what I’m trying to do is to figure out, how the hell is stubbornness being defined as willingness to change and to try new things, when simplicity is to stay put and ‘cling to the mast, spend your whole live living in the past, going nowhere fast.’
Post je objavljen 12.08.2009. u 02:49 sati.