This is a repost of my spoof of Baz Luhrmans "Sunscreen" made for my fellow druid players of World of Warcraft. Its several years old and probably will not interest anyone who hasnt played WoW or played a druid at the time. But I dont want it to go to waste, so here it is
BARKSKIN
Healers and Ferals of the class of 1.7
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, barkskin would be it.
The long term benefits of barkskin have been proved by druids even though it lasts for only 15seconds, the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my roots failing each time...
I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your restoration; oh nevermind; you will not understand the power and beauty of your restoration until they have reached 60.
But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at talent trees and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked in animal forms….
You’re not as low dps as you imagine.
Don’t worry about the future patches; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to kill someone by clawing at them with your claws.
The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you when a rogue gauges you on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing everyday that scares you
Play PVP
Don’t be reckless with other people’s health, don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Heal
Don’t waste your time on moonfire spam; sometimes you stay alive, sometimes you die, fight is long, and in the end, it’s only with the developers.
Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old equipment, throw away your old reagents.
Root
Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your druid…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 40 what they wanted to do with their druids, some of the most interesting 60 year olds I know rolled a shaman.
Get plenty of mana potions.
Be kind to your raid group, you’ll miss them when they’re dead.
Maybe you’ll heal, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll get kicked out of the group, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll healbot until you die, maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken in your cool cat form…what ever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your criticals have slim chance, unlike everybody else’s.
Enjoy your forms, use them every way you can…don’t be afraid of them, or what other people
think of them, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own..
Root…even if you have nowhere to do it but in in your own garden.
Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them. Do NOT read other peoples combat logs, they will only make you feel gimped. Get to know your fellow druids, you never know when they’ll be gone for good.
Be nice to your rogues; they are the best way to die and the people most likely to stick with you to ninja loot you.
Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you should hold on.
Take long flight paths to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.
Live in Un Goro once, but leave before it makes you hard; live in Moonglade once, but leave before it makes you soft.
Travel.
Accept certain inalienable truths, patches will be late, developers will not fix druids in time, you too will get bored, and when you do you’ll fantasize that if only you had rolled a shaman, you would have had fun with the game, you could have participated in PVP and people would have respected you.
Respect other classes. Don’t expect any of them to support you. Maybe you have an enemy rooted, maybe you have a starfire crit coming; but you never know when either one might run out.
Don’t mess too much with your talent trees, or by the time you're 60, it will look 40.
Be careful whose potions you buy, but, be patient with those who conjure water.
Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth.
But trust me on the barkskin…
Post je objavljen 25.04.2008. u 12:22 sati.