what do you do
when you're 19
but you feel old
your eyes are different
you can see the sadness in them
when you look upon a mirror
on your bathroom wall
when you're afraid
that you're waisting...
your life, your heart
every minute, every second
of this precious life...
afraid that your purpose
lies hidden beneath your
neurosis, addictions, flaws and your fears
eluding you, evading,
disappearing out of your reach
when you have the means to your end
but are throwing them away
for a brief moment of cheap thrills and excitement
distracted by the empty shine
your meaning slips from your moist and envious hand
there's gotta be something bigger than this
i never believed in destiny, and i always thought,
that there is no big plan, no divine providence, no Destiny
only choice and consequence, cause and effect
the great cosmic circle of "what comes around goes around" crap
and even though...
i was thought to love, not hate
to accept and not judge
to listen and understand
help others...
to be a good person
in the end
i realized that
love turns to hate in a heartbeat
people don't change, they just get worse.
if you're a good person, after a while
they take it for granted and resent you when you slip...
and you can't really help ANYONE!
not with the real important stuff anyway...
it's a bit of a disappointment
that the last 19 f'king years of observing the world
leads to this grim conclusion...
wouldn't you say?
no song today... just the mental excrements above
list update
#11 completed in 3 months
if anyone cares...
night
Post je objavljen 25.04.2008. u 00:23 sati.