Marketing
Blog from hell.....
Ovo sam neki dan pronašla na deviantu....pukla sam od smijeha...nadam se da æete i vi!!!!
.....Satan: I had a rough day today… apparently sadomasochists and bondage fetishists also go to hell…. I really don’t wanna say anything more about it.
Lucifer: There were some little wannabe “satanists” trying to invoke my name today. What the hell are they thinking? A Seraphim catering to the whim of some snot-nosed 13 year old? Anyway… lets just say they had an unfortuneate accident…
P.S. Bwahahahaha…
Satan: There sure have been a lot of teens that died in fires showing up lately…
Lucifer: I reiterate: Bwahahahaha
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lucifer: Well we got some more conservatives and televangelists today, and they STILL won’t shut up. Bitch bitch bitch, moan moan moan, I’m a man of God this is a mistake I don’t belong here, Jesus loves me… fucking windbags. I sent them to the 6th Circle.. lets see how they like wallowing in shit for a while.
Satan: I really wish Lucifer would stop sending people to the wrong Circles, it makes it really hard to keep track of them.
Azrael: I accidently dropped my sword on someone today.. I mean I guess it wasn’t so bad, he’s already dead… but now he has to spend eternity moving like a fiddler crab, I feel kinda bad…
Lucifer: Son of a bitch! I was about to get top score on Ms Pacman at this run-down little Arcade, and that little bitch Satan came in and ruined it. Oooo you gotta go back to Hell, you might do evil wicked things like steal qaurters from children. For one I didn’t STEAL them, they just HAPPENED to fall out of the brats pockets when I trip them.
Reply: [Satan:] Lucifer could you stop cursing so much? You might offend our readers…
Reply: [Lucifer:] I’m sure there’s a lot of children and grandmas reading the blog of a fallen angel, The Devil, and God’s personal hall monitor.
Reply: [Satan:] Would you quit calling me a hall monitor!?
Reply: [Lucifer:] I will when you stop being such a whiney bitch
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Satan: Gabriel stopped by the other day, he brought me some fruit from the orchids of Heaven.. unfortuneatly the fire and brimstone spoiled them immediately.. but still, it was nice of him to try. I’m also kind of glad Michael wasn’t with him, Gabriel’s a lot easier to talk to.
Reply: [Lucifer:] Plus when Michael shows up you tend to get smacked around
Reply: [Satan:] What happened to not directly responding to each other?
Reply: [Lucifer:] Up yours, hall monitor.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Azrael: Well.. Lucifer got out of his chains again… and there he goes. I wonder how long it’ll take young Satan to notice.
Azrael: And there goes Satan.
Lucifer: Pfff.. I just went up for a pack of smokes, he needs to calm down.
Reply: [Satan:] You held up a convenience store! And knocked over an old lady!
Reply: [Lucifer:] What…? You think I’ve got money? And she was in
the way…
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(Halloween)
Lucifer: The best night of the year. I’m gonna go around drinking and TPing houses until I pass out.
Satan: I think I need to add a few more chains to Lucifer’s bonds…
Reply: [Azrael:] Too late, he already left.
Reply: [Satan:] WHAT!?
Lucifer: I was not STEALING candy. I’d simply jump out at the kids, unfurl my wings and let my eyes burn like fire and they’d DROP their candy bags and run away. So I figured the candy was up for grabs.
Reply: [Satan:] That’s still stealing their candy!
Reply: [Lucifer:] Just for that you don’t get any.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(Saint Patrick’s Day)
Lucifer: We’re ALL Irish today! And what better excuse to get completely shitfaced!
Reply: [Azrael:] I see you started early this year…
Satan: Lucifer keeps whacking me for not wearing green… they don’t make clothes like mine in green!
Reply: [Lucifer:] Oh go to Hot Topic and find some.
Reply: [Satan:] ……………… That’s NOT where I get these clothes.
Reply: [Lucifer:] Right.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lucifer: We need a TV down here, think of all the mind-corrupting entertainment that people blame me for I’m missing.
Reply: [Azrael:] TV was invented in the 1930’s, you’re just thinking to do this now?
Reply: [Lucifer:] Where have you been? I’m LAZY.
Azrael: Well Lucifer just returned from his most recent triade on Earth with a plasma screen TV… this does not bode well. I wonder if he knows there’s no way to plug it in.
Lucifer: Apparently the power of devine light melts wires… and explodes electronic equipment.
Azrael: …He’s got another Plasma… I dunno what he thinks is gonna be different this time.
Lucifer: I got a generator and wireless cable, its all good.
Azrael: I didn’t know they’d invented wireless cable yet.
Lucifer: Well they did. They totally did. Now be quiet.
Satan: I thought I heard an explosion yesterday! Lucifer installed a TV, I won’t stand for this!
Satan: .. Aprentyl the Tv stays fro now … I do’t wana talk abo;ut it…
Lucifer: I can’t believe all I’ve been missing. Highlander and CSI are the shiznat.
Satan: Maybe the TV isn’t so bad… it is keeping Lucifer out of trouble…
Lucifer: Agh.. everytime I try to watch Adult Swim or The History Channel I see these commercials for Christian music. These people are so annoying … aren’t they only supposed to be singing hymms or something? …This gives me an idea.
Satan: Okay, no more TV for him. Somehow he sabotaged thousands of copies of Christian music and replaced them with Rammstein and Manson CDs…
Lucifer: The little bitch hall monitor destroyed my Plasma TV.. doesn’t he know what a pain in the ass that was to steal?
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Satan: Urgh, Lucifer has been using our computer to download music, we’re only supposed to use it for this blog!
Reply: [Lucifer:] Please, YOU use it to “spread the Word” in message boards, you damn little boy scout. And besides, lets see the RIAA get me down HERE!
Reply: [Satan:] You never know… their reach is frightening.
Reply: [Lucifer:] Pfff, who cares? We have all the lawyers down here anyway.
Post je objavljen 11.02.2007. u 15:39 sati.