One day I will be thin enough. Just the bones, no disfiguring flesh. Just the pure, clean shape of me, bones. That is what we all are, what we're made up of and everything else is just storage, deposit, waste. Strip it away, use it up.
You will be tempted quite frequently, and you will have to choose whether you shall enjoy the twenty minutes or so that you will be consuming empty calories, whether you will cordially despise yourself for two or three days for lack of willpower.
Nothing. Nothing is wrong, and asking is against the rules. Crying is against the rules. You're strong; don't let them break you. They're trying to destroy you.
Quod me nutrit, me destruit.
Why can't they realize my strength, how much it's taken to make so little of myself?
It's simple: you decide once and for all that you aren't going to eat, and there is no further decision to make.
In the body, as in sculpture, perfection is not attained when there is nothing left to add, but nothing left to take away.
They always say they're concerned about me, about my health, when all they want to do is control me. They want to pin me down and force-feed me with lies, with what they call love. Like prisoners everywhere, all I have left is the power to refuse.
I do eat normally; I eat only what is necessary for survival. I can't help it that we live in a piggish society where gluttony is the norm, and everyone else is constantly stuffing themselves.
When I wake, I'm empty, light, light-headed. I like to stay this way, free and pure, light on my feet, traveling light. For me, food's only interest lies in how little I need, how strong I am, how well I can resist, each time achieving another small victory of the will.
Like a plant, surely the body can be trained to exist on nothing, to take it's nourishment from the air.
When you coast without eating for a significant period of time, and you are still alive, you begin to scoff at those fools who believe they must eat to live. It is blatantly obvious to you that this is not true.Food hinders your progress.
We turn skeletons into goddesses, and look to them as if they might teach us how not to need.
How many pounds till I am happy, how many pounds till I get thin? Three more pounds till I am skinny, three more pounds and I win!
You've made a decision: you will NOT stop. The pain is necessary, especially the pain of hunger. It reassures you that you are strong, can withstand anything.
You can learn to love anything, I think, if you need to badly enough. I trained myself to enjoy feeling hungry. If my stomach contracts, or I wake up feeling nauseated, or I'm light-headed or have a hunger headache, or better yet, all of the above, it means I'm getting thinner, so it feels good. I feel strong, on top of myself, in control.
I want to be so thin, light, airy, that ...
when the light hits me, I don't leave a shadow behind.
when I walk across the snow I will not leave so much as one footprint to mar its virgin purity.
I can dance between the raindrops in a downpour.
Post je objavljen 20.09.2006. u 12:16 sati.