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NEMREŠ BILIVIT
Evo, za sve vas koji kanite svoje godišnje odmore provesti preko bare (tj. u Ameriku), pripazite na sljedeće zakone:
It is illegal to play Dominos on Sunday.
It is illegal to wear a fake moustache that causes laughter in a church.
Putting salt on a railroad track may be punishable by death.
Alaska
In Fairbanks, it is illegal to feed alcoholic beverages to a moose.
It is illegal to a wake a bear for the purpose of photography, although it is legal to shoot a sleeping bear.
A law in Fairbanks, does not allow moose to have sex on city streets.
Arizona
In Tucson, it is illegal for women to wear pants.
In Globe, it is illegal to play cards in the street with a Native American.
In Glendale, it is illegal to drive a car in reverse.
In Nogales, it is illegal to wear suspenders.
Arkansas
In Fayetteville, it is illegal to kill any living creature, including insects.
In Little Rock, if a man and a woman flirt with each other in the streets, they could be jailed for 30 days.
A man can legally beat his wife, but not more than once a month.
-Don't do it guys.
California
It is a misdemeanor to shoot at any kind of game from a moving vehicle, unless it's a whale.
In Pacific Grove, molesting butterflies can result in a $500 fine.
In Pasadena, it is illegal for a secretary to be alone in a room with her boss.
It is illegal to set a mousetrap without a hunting license.
In Long Beach, it is illegal to curse on a mini-golf course.
In San Francisco, it is illegal to wipe one's car with used underwear.
It is illegal to cry on the witness stand in Los Angeles.
It is illegal to eat oranges in a bathtub.
Due to the ambled name of "Texas Instrument," the TI-82,TI-83,TI-83+,TI-86, and TI-89 were all banished from California. If caught with one, 4 weeks of prison is assigned.
In Ventura County, cats and dogs are not allowed to have sex without a permit.
Colorado
In Durango, it is illegal to go out in public dressed in clothing unbecoming to one's gender.
In Logan County, it is illegal for a man to kiss a woman while she is asleep.
In Pueblo, it is illegal to let a dandelion grow within city limits.
Connecticut
In Hartford, it is illegal to educate a dog.
It is illegal to dispose of used razor blades.
In New Britain, the speed limit for fire trucks in 25 mph, even when going to a fire.
In Hartford, it is illegal for a man to kiss his wife on a Sunday.
Delaware
In Lewes, it is illegal to wear pants that are form-fitting around the waist.
It is illegal to fly over a body of water unless sufficient supplies of food and water are on board.
Florida
In Miami, it is illegal for a man to wear of any kind of strapless gown.
Unmarried women who parachute on Sundays may be jailed.
In Sarasota, it is illegal to sing while wearing a bathing suit.
Georgia
All males in the state between the ages of 16 and 50 are required to work on public roads.
In Columbus, it is illegal to sit on one's porch in an indecent position.
In Quitman, it is illegal for a chicken to cross the road.
It is illegal to change the clothes on a storefront mannequin unless the shades are down.
Hawaii
It is illegal to appear in public wearing only swimming trunks.
It is illegal to own a mongoose without a permit.
Idaho
In Pocatello, the carrying of concealed weapons is forbidden, unless some are exhibited to public view.
Also in the latter town, it is prohibited for pedestrians and motorists to display frowns, grimaces, scowls, threatening and glowering looks, gloomy and depressed facial appearances, generally all of which reflect unfavorably upon the city's reputation.
Boxes of candy given as romantic gifts must weigh more than 50 pounds.
Illinois
In Chicago, people who are diseased, maimed, mutilated, or deformed to the point of being an unsightly or disgusting object are banned from going out in public.
Also in Chicago, it is illegal to fish in pajamas.
One more in Chicago, it is illegal to take a French poodle to the opera.
It is illegal to speak English, the officially recognized language is "American."
A state law in Illinois mandates that all bachelors should be called master, not mister, when addressed by their female counterparts.
In Oblong, it's punishable by law to make love while hunting or fishing on your wedding day.
In Gurnee, it is illegal for women weighing more than 200 pounds to ride horses in shorts.
In Joliet, it is illegal to mispronounce the name Joliet.
Indiana
Monkeys are forbidden to smoke cigarettes in South Bend.
In Gary, it is illegal to attend the theater within four hours of eating garlic.
Iowa
State law forbids any establishment from charging admission to see a one-armed piano player.
In Fort Madison, fireman are required to practice for 15 minutes before going to a fire.
After lovemaking, men are NOT allowed to take more than three gulps of beer while lying in bed with their wives-or holding them in his arms.
Kansas
It is illegal for restaurants to sell cherry pie a la mode on Sundays.
In Wichita, it is illegal to carry a concealed bean snapper.
In Lang, it is illegal to ride a mule down Main Street in August, unless the animal is wearing a straw hat.
In Natoma, it is illegal to throw a knife at any one wearing a striped shirt.
Kentucky
It is illegal for a woman to appear in a bathing suit on a highway unless she is a) escorted by at least two police officers, b) armed with a club, or c) lighter than 90 pounds or more than 200 pounds.
It is illegal to remarry the same man four times.
State law stipulates that a person is considered sober until he or she "cannot hold onto the ground".
Louisiana
In New Orleans, fire trucks are required by law to stop at all red lights.
It is considered simple assault to bite someone in New Orleans, but it is aggravated assault if the biter has false teeth.
It is against the law to gargle in public.
Maine
In Portland, it is illegal for men to tickle women under the chin with feather dusters.
The most money one can legally win gambling is three dollars.
It Rumford, it is illegal for a tenant to bite his/her landlord.
In Waterville, it is illegal to blow one's nose in public.
Maryland
In Baltimore, it is illegal to wash or scrub sinks, no matter how dirty they get.
Every person who has bowled since 1833 may be fined $2 for each offence.
In Hale Thorpe, it is illegal to kiss for more than one second.
It's illegal to mistreat oysters.
It's illegal to play Randy Newman's "Short People" on the radio.
Massachusetts
In Salem, even married couples are forbidden from sleeping nude in the rented rooms.
It is illegal to wear a goatee without a license.
Dueling with water pistols is illegal.
In Boston, it is illegal for someone to take a bath unless ordered by a physician.
In 1659, Christmas was outlawed.
Michigan
A man legally owns his wife's hair.
In Detroit, it is illegal to ogle a woman from a moving car.
In Port Huron, the speed limit for ambulances is 20 mph.
Under state law, dentists are officially classified as mechanics.
In Clawson, it is legal for a farmer to "sleep with his pigs, cows, horses, goats, and chickens".
Minnesota
Women may face up to 30 days in jail if they impersonate Santa Claus.
In Minneapolis, double parkers can be put on a chain gang.
Every man in Brainerd is required by lay to grow a beard.
It's illegal to tease skunks.
Mississippi
It is still legal to kill one's servant.
In Truro, a would-be groom must prove himself manly prior to marriage by hunting and killing 6 blackbirds or 3 cows.
In Alexandria, no man is allowed to make love to his wife with the smell of garlic, onions, or sardines on his breath. If his wife so requests, law mandates that he must brush his teeth.
Missouri
In Saco, women are forbidden from wearing hats that might frighten timid persons, children, or animals.
In St. Louis, it is illegal for an on-duty firefighter to rescue a woman wearing a nightgown. In order to be rescued, a woman must be fully dressed.
While children may purchase shotguns in Kansas City, they are not allowed to buy toy cap guns.
In Merryville, women are prohibited from wearing corsets because "The privilege of admiring the curvaceous, unencumbered body of a young woman should not be denied to the normal, red-blooded American male".
Montana
It is a felony for a wife to open her husbands mail.
It is a misdemeanor to show movies that depict acts of felonious crime.
It Whitehall, it is illegal to operate a vehicle with ice picks attached to the wheels.
Nebraska
It is illegal for a mother to give her daughter a perm without a state license.
In Waterloo, barbers are forbidden from eating onions between 7am and 7pm.
In Omaha, barbers are forbidden form shaving their customers chests.
The owner of every hotel in Hastings, is required by law to provide each guest with a clean and pressed nightshirt.
If I child burps during a church service, their parents may be arrested.
It is illegal for bar owners to sell beer unless they are simultaneously brewing a kettle of soup.
Nevada
It Nyala, a man is forbidden from buying drinks for more than three people.
In Eureka, men are forbidden from kissing women.
Everyone walking on the streets of Elko is required to wear a mask.
In Eureka, men who wear moustaches are forbidden from kissing women.
New Hampshire
It is illegal to sell the clothes one is wearing to pay off a gambling debt.
It is illegal to check into a hotel with an assumed name.
New Jersey
It is against the law to frown at a police officer.
In Neward, it is illegal to sell ice cream after 6pm, unless the customer has a note from his/her doctor.
It is illegal to slurp soup.
In Trenton, it is illegal to throw a bad pickle in the street.
New Mexico
In Raton, it is illegal for a woman to ride horseback down a public street with a kimono on.
The Merriam-Webster Collegiate Dictionary is banned in Carlsbad.
State officials ordered 400 words of "sexually explicit material" to be cut from Romeo and Juliet.
New York
In New York City, it is illegal for a woman to be on the street wearing "body hugging clothing."
In New York City, it is illegal for a man to ogle a lady. The accused are forced to wear horse-blinders.
Also in New York City, it is disorderly conduct for one man to greet another on the street by placing the end of his thumb against the tip of his nose, at the same time extending and wiggling the fingers of his hand.
North Carolina
In Charlotte, women must have their bodies covered by 16 yards of cloth at all time.
In Ashville, it is illegal to sneeze on city streets.
North Dakota
In Fargo, one may be jailed for wearing a hat while dancing, or even for wearing a hat to a party where dancing is taking place.
It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep with your shoes on.
It is illegal to serve beer and pretzels at the same time in any bar, club, or restaurant.
Ohio
In Cleveland, women are forbidden from wearing patent leather shoes, for men can see the reflection of their underwear.
In Columbus, it is illegal for stores to sell Cornflakes on Sunday.
It Oxford, it is illegal for a women to undress in front of a man's picture.
In Youngstown, it is illegal to run out of gas.
Catch-22 is banned in Strongsville.
Oklahoma
People who make ugly faces at dogs may be fined and/or jailed.
In Schuster, it is illegal for a woman to gamble while wearing a towel.
Oregon
One may not bathe without wearing "suitable clothing," i.e., clothing that covers one's body from neck to knee.
In Hood River, it is illegal to juggle without a license.
In Marion county, ministers are forbidden from eating onions or garlic before giving a sermon.
As of January 1, 2000 all 5 bedroom homes will be evacuated and searched by police for drug substances every 2 months.
If caught in possession of Marijuana during the month of February, you will be assigned to two thousand hours of community service.
It is illegal to be seen in public with the number 69 on an article of clothing.
Pennsylvania
Any motorist who sights a team of horses coming toward him must pull well off the road, cover his car with a blanket or canvas that blends with the countryside, and let the horses pass. If the horses appear to be skittish, the motorist must take his car apart piece by piece, and hide it under the nearest bush.
In Morrisville, women need a permit to wear cosmetics.
Ministers are forbidden from performing marriages when either the bride or the groom is drunk.
Rhode Island
In Providence, it is illegal to sell toothpaste and a toothbrush to the same customer on a Sunday.
It is illegal to throw pickle juice on a trolley.
In Newport, it is illegal to smoke a pipe after sundown.
South Carolina
Every citizen is obliged to carry his gun to church.
No horses are allowed into Fountain Inn unless they are wearing pants.
In Charleston, all carriage horses must wear diapers.
South Dakota
It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep in a cheese factory.
Movies that show police officers being struck, beaten or treated in an offensive manner are forbidden.
Tennessee
It is illegal to use a lasso to catch fish.
In Dyersburg, it is illegal for a woman to call a man for a date.
In Memphis restaurants, it is illegal to give any pie to fellow diners, it's illegal to take unfinished pie home and all pie must be eaten on the premises.
In Memphis, it is illegal for a woman to drive by herself, unless a man is walking or running in front of the vehicle, waving a red flag in order to warn approaching pedestrians and motorists.
Texas
It is illegal for children to have unusual haircuts.
A recently passed anti-crime laws requires criminals to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and explain to the nature of the crime about to be committed.
It is illegal to milk another person's cow.
In El Paso, churches, hotels, halls of assembly, stores, markets, banking rooms, railroad depots, and saloons are required to have spittoons on hand.
In Houston, it is illegal to sell Limburger cheese on Sunday.
The entire Encyclopedia Britannica is banned in Texas because it contains a formula for making beer at home.
Utah
Birds have the right of way on all highways.
A husband is responsible for every criminal act committed by his wife while she is in his presence.
Vermont
Women must obtain written permission from their husbands to wear false teeth.
It is illegal to deny the existence of God.
It is illegal to whistle underwater.
Virginia
In Richmond, it is illegal to flip a coin in any eating establishment to determine who buys a cup of coffee.
It is illegal for a man to kick his wife out of bed.
It is illegal for a man to pat his wife's derriere.
There is a state law prohibiting "corrupt practices of bribery by any person other than canidates".
Washington
In Seattle, women who sit on men's laps on buses or trains without placing a pillow between them face an automatic 6 months in jail.
In Seattle, it is illegal to carry a concealed weapon longer than 6 feet.
It is illegal to pretend one's parents are rich.
In the state of Washington there is a law against having sex with a virgin under any circumstances. (Including the wedding night.)
West Virginia
In Nicholas County, no clergy members may tell jokes or humorous stories from the pulpit during church services.
It is illegal to snooze on a train.
Wisconsin
In St. Croix, women are not allowed to wear anything red in public.
It is illegal to cut a women's hair.
It is illegal to kiss on a train.
Cheese making requires a license. Limburger cheese making requires a master cheese license.
Wyoming
It is illegal to wear a hat that obstructs peoples' view in a public theater or place of amusement.
It is illegal for a women to stand within five feet of a bar while drinking.
Sorry, nije mi se dalo prevoditi, ima pun qrac teksta...
Post je objavljen 03.07.2006. u 20:16 sati.