Dakle, prošli puta sam spomenuo rase, klase, prase i ostale stvari koje se rimuju na –ase a bile bi oh-so-funny u kontekstu šale osnovnoškolca.
Right, što nam preostaje?
Pogledajmo http://www.espministries.com/topic_dungeons.htm, shall we?
Aah, vraćamo se na pitanje što je D&D… okay, čuli ste moju verziju. No, prava istina je slijedeća:
Dr. Gary North, author of None Dare Call It Witchcraft, says, ". . . after years of study of the history of occultism, after having researched a book on the subject, and after having consulted with scholars in the field of historical research, I can say with confidence: these games are the most effective, most magnificently packaged, most profitably marketed, most thoroughly researched introduction to the occult in man's recorded history."
IA! Jeste li uplašeni? Trebali bi biti. Nastavljamo.
After extensive research, the Christian Life Ministries concludes: "DUNGEONS & DRAGONS™ instead of a game is a teaching on demonology, witchcraft, voodoo, murder, rape, blasphemy, suicide, assassination, insanity, sex perversion, homosexuality, prostitution, Satan worship, gambling, Jungian psychology, barbarism, cannibalism, sadism, desecration, demon summoning. necromantics, divination and many more teachings, brought to you in living color direct from the pit of hell!!!"
GAAARRGGHHHHH!!!!!1113
And a YAARGGHHH to boot.
Obožavam rečenice sa puno uskličnika :) Time se valjda želi sugerirati da je govornik toliko uzbuđen da podijeli svoju najnoviju misao sa drugima da se ne može suzdržati i jednostavno mora veselo vikati!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ah, kako vrckavo.
Zanimljivo kako je Satan worship svugdje.
'Što to gledaš?'
'Meh, Ljubav u zaleđu.'
'*gasp* SATAN WORSHIPPER!'
Ali, all in all, moram se složiti sa tom procjenom. Od kad igram D&D primijetio sam znatno povećanje užitka prilikom jedenja sirovog ljudskog mesa i brutalnog silovanja koza za mog Tamnog Gospodara. Da niti ne spomenem koristi necromancyja za postizanje bonera.
Ah, punovi. Gotta love 'em.
Ali dobro, barem znadem od kuda mi ta neodoljiva potreba za ubojstvom, silovanjem i blasfemijama koju osjećam svakodnevno. Ponekad se prokleto teško suzdržavati, osobito nakon D&D sessiona (pazite! PAZITE! Zove se *session*. A-HAW! Session ili… *dramatična tišina*… SABAT!) kada redovito imam napadaje ludila, barbarizma te prakticiram pomahnitale homoseksualne sadističke perverzije na demonima koje prizovemo prilikom sotonističkog bacanja kockica.
Moglo bi se reći da im nabijem rogove.
[Monty Python] Wink, wink, nudge, nudge, know what I mean, know what I mean, say no more, say no more. [/Monty Python]
A principle laid down long ago by God is: "For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he" (Proverbs 23:7). "Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life" (Proverbs 4:23). We are what we think. It is ridiculous to believe that people, young or old, can absorb their minds with violence, murder, human sacrifice, suicide, demonology, rape, desecration, defecation, sadism, cannibalism, sex perversion, insanity, prostitution, necromantics, Satan worship, witchcraft, and every other form of perverted and violent conduct without being intensely, and perhaps permanently, affected adversely. We ARE what we THINK!
Da, samo pogledajte mene – godine sotonističkog štovanja, silovanja, sadizma, kanibalizma, seksualnih perverzija, ludila, prostitucije, etc, su me učinile masivnom (erm, masovnim) ubojicom. Znate li vi koliko novih Hitlera odgaja D&D? Imate li uopće *NAJMANJU* ideju? NAZI-GROUNDHOGS WILL STEAL YOUR CHILDREN'S FUTURE!
I da, mi smo ono što mislimo! Nema veze što naša dijela govore drugačije – ako zamišljate da ste elf koji lukom i strijelom može otfikariti muhi lijevo jaje na 500 metara, onda to zaista i jeste.
Dakako, ovdje se poistovjećuje ono što mislimo sa onim što mislimo u srcu.
Ah, kako vrckavo.
Damn, kako mi se sviđa taj izraz.
Vrckavo.
Young person, if you want to be successful, productive, well-adjusted, and happy, then refuse to fill your wonderful mind with such garbage! Don't allow someone else to take control of your mind. Think too much of yourself to become a tool in the hands of those whose interest is to get your money and destroy your faith in God.
Da. Repent! REPENT! Kršćanstvo je puno bolja opcija od D&D-a – trebate kupiti samo jedan rulebook koji, doduše, ima samo Player's Handbook, ali u jednoj knjizi dobivate dvije edicije, Staru i Novu, pa birate s čime vam je ugodnije igrati. Broj rasa je, doduše, pomalo mizeran – pače, imate samo ljude kao odabir – ali klase su zgodne; ima ih od rimskog vojnika preko postolara do mesije, što je valjda isto kao da imate klase od fightera preko roguea do wizarda.
Kul je. Kod mesije čak dobijete resurrection kao class feature ako ste na dovoljno visokom levelu.
John Torell, with Christian Life Ministries in California, received a phone call from a medical doctor in Seattle, Washington. The doctor is treating a policeman for severe depression caused by the suicide of his sixteen-year-oId son. The son, who had been heavily involved in D&D™ for two years, shot himself with his father's service revolver.
Na ovakve argumente se uvijek odvalim. Sin se ubio *njegovim* pištoljem… ah, igrao je D&D. Onda već znamo zašto se ubio, nema neke potrebe tražiti dublji razlog! Bio je to vjerojatno dio nekog kanibalističkog homoseksualnog sotonističkog rituala. Da, must be it.
Some have argued that D&D™ is a healthy release of suppressed hostilities. But seeing the power that can be seized in games, psychiatrist Laurence Johnson cautions, "If I had a child who tended toward schizophrenia, I'd never let him near D&D™. There's a danger that it would reinforce feelings of grandiosity, of omnipotence. Reality and fantasy are hard enough for schizophrenics to differentiate."
Mmda… vjerojatno su zaboravili napomenuti da D&D potiče šizofreniju. Mi znamo da je tako.
The power that can be seized in games? Slažem se da netko tko ne zna razlikovati stvarnost od mašte ne bi trebao igrati D&D, no, s druge strane, ne bi trebao niti gledati televiziju niti čitati. Bilo što. Ever.
Uglavnom – ako netko ima psiholoških smetnji, treba li mu D&D da ga potakne da bude zločest? Hoće li ga uopće potaknuti? Jednako tako ga može u pojam ubiti prelazak preko ulice.
This reality distortion is frightening. A city police department in central Washington asks, "Are you a participant in Fantasy Role Games?" as a standard question . . . two people convicted of firing over three rounds into passing motor vehicles admitted that they "constantly fantasized killing someone." Other police departments have confirmed "some correlation" between Fantasy Role Playing Games and incidents showing up on their police blotter.
Heheh :D
Ako ne igrate D&D ne fantazirate o nasilju. Doobroo jeee :D
Many people have been innocently drawn into FRP Games. However, enough information is now available to reveal their true nature and real danger - so there's no need for wise and alert people to be further duped.
Da. Prvo vas privučemo obećanjima o razuzdanim orgijama i bludničenju nad životinjama, a onda, kad namanje to očekujete, vas uhvatimo u našu mrežu laži i sotonističkog štovanja.
To je D&D. No, really. *To* je D&D.
Da citiram Blind Guardian:
I cannot, I will not
Deny it's false innocence
Phear us.
Post je objavljen 13.01.2006. u 02:37 sati.