Pandora's Box(ers)
nedjelja, 26.11.2006.
Jos jedna propala noc....
 Pa i nije bas... Ali najobicniji dan. No, kakav je da je - off je! Samo to ga cini totalno SUPERNEST!!! Skorz bih se mogla navici na days off... Ponekad obozavam biti neaktivna. Iliti, po seljacki: ljencuga. Podvuceno zutom. Ja i mon mari. Ljencuge u dvoje. Zakon svjetski! Ustali se negdje oko 11. Tek za pokusaj opravdanja; legli smo iza 3. Sto u prosjeku za day off i nije neka pretjerana doza spavanja. No crnjak je da sam se treci dan za redom ustala s nesnosnom glavoboljom. Ne kontam zasto, no ponekad mi se to desi. Starost... Or something. Nakon nekog vremena nisam imala volje to vise podnositi pa sam zashootirala two Excedrins. I blazeno stanje je uslijedilo negugo nakon. Aleluja. Dan je prosao nabrzinu; pospremanje stana, pice tu i tamo, naganjanje po stanu s T, i Sting... I to me uhvati nekad. Krenula sam s namjerom da slusam Floyde. Pa sam u CD namontirala The Division's Bell i Wish You Were Here od Floyda, Best of od Emerson Lake & Palmer, Best of John Lennon i tu se nekako nasao i Sting (tip vec bio unutra, a meni ga bilo tlaka vadit). I igrom slucaja cijeli dan je protekao... Stingy? Imam feeling da ce mi se sutra slusati Archetype. Fear Factory. Nisam odavno. Osjecam promjenu u zraku veceras. Dosadila mi fjaka, sutra cu biti on the go. Da, veceras smo imali frenda na veceri. Malo smo zarostiljali. I okrenuli par pivica. I inog. On je doveo sina (3). Ja stvarno ne znam sto je to sa mnom i djecom. Mislim, sve to prodje naoko super. Podnosljivo. Ali u meni... Kao da vrag zeli izaci vani. Djeca su zakon. Nevjerojatno inteligentna i zanmljiva patuljasta stvorenja. No u jednom trenutku... Kad se dijete pocne ponasati kao dijete, kad cokoladno mlijeko pocne kapati na sve strane, i kad pocne kenjkanje i snjuhanje... Dodje mi da vrisnem! Nisam osoba koja vjeruje u batine. Bar ne pretjerano; i ja sam tu i tamo dobila svoje. Nema to ni veze s djetetom. Kao objektom. Totalno ja. Doza podnosljivosti u medjuodnosima. Jebeno blizu nuli. Dobro, mogla bih tu malo elaborirati. I debelo zafilozofirati. Mrzim kad se ljudi sa djecom ponasaju kao debili. Bu-bu-ba-ba, kuchi-kuchi-ku i ta sranja. Kao sto sam rekla vec, djeca su mali ljudi i mali genijalci i ne treba ih pretvarati u debile. Affection u dozama normale. I kad se greske i mali neredi dese, ne vjerujem da dijete treba odrati ko vola u kupusu, vec sjesti i objasniti. A kad se velike greske ponove, amo svi u kupus! Sve je to cool. No mene ugusi sam pojam djeteta. Taj mali veceras je bio skroz smijesan. I vrlo pametno igra svoje karte. Kao i tata mu uostalom, jer me u trenutku nepaznje ostavio samu s tim malim covjekom. I bas tu se desi - sama pomisao na mene tj. sebe s djetetom mijenja sve sto jesam i sve u sto vjerujem. I ta misao me ubije u pojam. Kad gledam kako stari partijaner Barry postaje savrsen tatica. I vise ni traga Barryju. Ljudi postanu roditelji i kao da umru za ostali svijet. Bar u smislu onoga sto i tko su nekad bili. Vise nemaju vremena za druge ljude. Nemaju vremena ni za sebe. Mali covjek je uvijek na prvom mjestu. Mislim da sam jos uvijek pre-sebicna za takvo nesto. T je rekao; za tri godine cemo poceti razmisljati o djeci. Ja kazem; sto mozes za tri godine, mozes i za pet... |
- 05:34 - Komentari (6) - Isprintaj - #
Dnevnik.hr |
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Speed of Pain
 They slit our throats Like we were flowers And our milk has been devoured When you want it It goes away too fast Times u hate it It always seems to last But just remember When you think you're free The crack inside your Fucking heart is me I wanna outrace the speed of pain for another day I wish I could sleep But I can't lay on my back Because ther's a knife For everyday that I've known you When you want it It goes away yoo fast Times u hate it It always seems to last But just remember when you think you're free The crack inside your fucking heart is me I wanna outrace the speed of pain for another day Lie to me, cry to me, give to me I would Lie with me, die with me, give to me I would Keep all your secrets wrapped in dead hair I hope at least we die holding hands for always
'Say Just Words' by: Paradise Lost
 You get high, with your destructive instinct You get high, with your corrosive instinct Where can I go, to escape your foul mind tricks You're trying it more, but you will never break me 'Cause you presume the winner is you, but that's not true, so say just words to me Unreal what your hate's providing, say just words to me Your talk is always contradiction, say just words to me You won't feel the warmth of friends around you, say just words to me Is it true that there is worth inside so say just words to me Your designs, all the worse from power craving Your desires, only where there's fire burning I'll show you the way, a pleasure that's for the taking You're trying it more, but you won't get satisfaction 'Cause you presume the winner is you, but that's not true, so say just words to me Unreal what your hate's providing, say just words to me Your talk is always contradiction, say just words to me You won't feel the warmth of friends around you, say just words to me Is it true that there is worth inside so say just words to me...... 
Egoism is the Very Essence of a Noble Soul *** *** Friedrich Nietzsche 
Everything becomes a little different as soon as it is spoken out loud. *** *** Hermann Hesse 
Morality is simply the attitude we adopt towards people whom we personally dislike. *** Oscar Wilde 
It is hard enough to remember my opinions, without also remembering my reasons for them! **** ** Friedrich Nietzsche 
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me. ** Woody Allen 
I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.*** *** *** - Ludwig Wittgenstein 
Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong. *** *** *** Oscar Wilde 
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying. *** *** Woody Allen 
I never know what I think about something until I read what I've written on it.*** *** William Faulkner 
You know quite well, deep within you, that there is only a single magic, single power, a single salvation... and that is called loving. Well, then, love your suffering. Do not resist it, do not flee from it. It is your aversion that hurts, nothing else. *** *** Hermann Hesse 
I choose my friends for their good looks, my acquaintances for their good characters, and my enemies for their intellects. A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies. *** *** Oscar Wilde 
In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends. *** *** *** - Martin Luther King Jr |
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