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Što ako uspomene doista nestaju u dahu i ako ćemo u budućnosti postati samo ljušture naših želja, strahova i nadanja?
Bojim se iti čuti takt poznate mi neke davne pjesme. Bojim se da se, samo čuvši jednu notu i jednu riječ, ova lavina ne pokrene. Ova hrpa tuge koju tako dugo već kontroliram kako se povećava, poput grude snijega dok se kotrlja nizbrdo.
Možda tu, u toj hrpi noćnih mora leži odgovor na moje tako česte mrzovolje i želje odvajanja od svijeta, barem fizički, ako već ne uistinu...
Ne dam ovom derištu u meni da vrišti, a u ovakvim mi je danima to posebno teška misija. U danima nalik na ovaj, kada ne mogu zamisliti da je uopće moguće isplakati sav užas koji čovjek može nositi u sebi.
Problem je samo u ovome ja koje misli da je tako važno i koje će me nastavljat sjeć dok ne odlučim da je gotovo.
A ta odluka ovisi samo o meni. O drugom vidu, tog istog ja.
entirely personal update: Dragi mi jednom rekao da je slušao ovu pjesmu i mislio na mene. To je bio najljepši poklon koji sam mogla dobit. Ljubav je kad nekome drugome, a ne sebi, zaželiš krila...
She's got her ticket
I think she gonna use it
I think she going to fly away
No one should try and stop her
Persuade her with their power
She says that her mind is made
Up
Why not leave why not
Go away
Too much hatred
Corruption and greed
Give your life
And invariably they leave you with
Nothing
Young girl ain't got no chances
No roots to keep her strong
She's shed all pretenses
That someday she'll belong
Some folks call her a runaway
A failure in the race
But she knows where her ticket takes her
She will find her place in the sun
Why not leave why not
Go away
Too much hatred
Corruption and greed
Give your life
And invariably they leave you with
Nothing
She's got her ticket
I think she gonna use it
I think she going to fly away
No one should try and stop her
Persuade her with their power
She says that her mind is made
Up
And she'll fly, fly, fly...
(Tracy Chapman)
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