apple

(see also: macbook air, apple, )

Apple, Inc. today announced plans for iPhone 2, which will only be available to consumers willing to have the hardware device soldered to their heads in a fashion similar to the La Forge character on the series Star Trek, Next Generation.

Cherry Core, a spokeswoman for Apple, today told The Gore Years that the concept behind iPhone 2 is an extension of the way the current iPhones battery is soldered into the device. Currently, necessary to bring the iPhone in for servicing when a new battery is required.

This is a necessary part of the process of owning an iPhone, said Core. Consumers should feel like theyre part of the system itself. We call it consumergy, the synergy between our customers and this device. With iPhone 2, we take it a step further, and attach it to your face.

Apple says that consumers will need to visit approved medical facilities to install the device. There are rumors that several leading health care organizations are clamoring to become exclusive regional licensors of the phone. Among apple considerations Apple will be taking into account, of course, will be a health facilitys ability to handle the early rush of consumers eager to be first in line.

In California, for example, the leading candidate is probably Kaiser Permanente, which has a massive network of facilities and the infrastructure to handle long lines of camped out people for days at a time.

The iPhone an obvious route to new revenues for the health care industry. And its a win-win for both Apple and health care organizations. paying a modest licensing fee, health care organizations feed Apples coffers, while gaining new customers who will often feel locked in to their providers. Generally people will probably feel most comfortable with the health apple facility that made the initial installation when maintenance is required, says Stanford Universitys Dr. Gustav Klinger of Stanfords Eye, apple and Apple Institute. apple may even begin to establish a sense of brand loyalty among certain health care providers. If youre a clever hospital administrator, really, the skys the limit on what apple be achieved with a licensing agreement with Apple.

More iPhone2 Happiness:

New iPhone Firmware Update Will Taser Users of Unlocked iPhones