Visions Of Death


cijeli sam dan doma i nisam napravila ništa. baš ništa.
dosadno mi je i cijelo jebeno vrijeme razmišljam o svakakvim glupostima. to već nema granica. koji je meni..? imam ja uopće razlog da budem takva? mislim da ne.

Then all the fowls stay silent,
And the leaves end their fall..
Suddenly I realise..
The earth is breathing with me and I cry..


[elvenking ~ pagan purity]

koji je ono danas dan? aha..ma stvarno! sjetila sam se..jesam.
čini mi se kao neki sjebani dan, ali ipak..postoji neki razlog..da, postoji..tu je, uvijek..mora biti..mora..ostati..

[ovo nitko nije shvatio. shvatila sam samo ja.]

mislim da sam se počela lagano gubiti u svojim mislima, snovima..
ne mogu gledati u nešto a da mi se pred očima ne stvori nešto deseto..ne mogu nekog slušati, a da mi glavom ne prolaze neke druge misli..

nisam ja zapravo loše volje kako se čini..recimo da sam sretna u takvom stanju u kakvom jesam..iako mi u nekim trenucima nije svejedno i ponekad se slomim do kraja, ali nadam se da neće nitko saznati..da nitko neće primjetiti koliko sam slaba i koliko se bojim..koliko mi neke male stvari, bile one lijepe ili ne..koliko mi znače. (i u pozitivnom i negativnom smislu..)
i više nego što itko može zamisliti. u mom je svijetu sve nekako drugačije..neshvatljivo drugačije.
nije sad da sam u depresiji..jednostavno sam razvila neku vrstu ponašanja koju shvaćam samo ja i o kojoj mnogo ovisi..ne radim uvijek što bih htjela, ponekad bi nešto toliko željela napraviti, možda reći, ali nemam hrabrosti..hrabrost, meni nepoznat pojam..
ponekad govorim nešto suprotno od onoga što mislim samo da nešto bolje ispadne..
neću tako..želim jedanput u životu reći i napraviti što mi je na duši bez da osjećam užasan strah i razmišljam o posljedicama..
ma, sve ovo vjerojatno zvuči potpuno drugačije nego što jest.
mogla bih možda reći da mi je trenutno život koliko toliko sređen i da se nemam previše što žaliti, osim nekih sitnica, ne previše važnih..
neznam kako bih na drugačiji, shvatljiviji način opisala sve to..
….
neda mi se više..pozdrav


16.04.2007. u 18:59
° 11 thoughts of the world ° Print ° # °

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coments no/si?


Nothing's What It Seems To Be..

I Have Chosen Darkness To Be My Guide.
War Is In My Heart, Death Is By My Side.

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METAL HEART IS HARD TO TEAR APART

412 - 062 - 966

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....

The Leaves They Fall,
Upon The Day That Makes A Memory..



Am I Just A Shade?

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Jari..

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I am now alone in the silent light,
And there's nothing but darkness around me..
Deeper into unknown the strange light is guiding me,
Wake me until it's too late..

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Sleeping Stars..


....Now, hear the battle's call.

Sing for your tears
A song of the hatred..
No one can hear
Cause your life is forgotten..

Iron Maiden
Children Of Bodom
Blind Guardian
In Flames
Sonata Arctica
Ensiferum
Megadeth
Rhapsody
Tyr
HammerFall
Wintersun
Elvenking
Stratovarius
Demons & Wizards
Equilibrium
DragonForce
Amon Amarth
Korpiklaani
Wolfchant
Imperanon
Moonsorrow
Finntroll
Edguy
Norther
Turisas
Within Temptation
Avantasia
Cruachan
Arkona
....

Their deeds shall be heard..
Their legend will live forever..

<3

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..hero in a dream..

He is the man who travels in the land
of dragons and magic spells..
He rides in the winds of fire and snow
and he rules the forest of elves..

***

At the border of the plain where suddenly the forest dies
On the first day of the season
When the moon will shine full in the sky
I will wait for you there bathed by a magic light
I will wait, I will pray for this moment to become alive

For this night I will see as an elf clad in leaves
You're going to see myself the fairy of your secret dreams
Even if all this belongs to worlds of fantasy
For this time, only this night everything is fair, belongs to me
One night fantasy..

Live my every breath, my every touch, my every single sigh
Seizing hold of every glance
As the day's passing by begins a wonderful sight
Dancing on the moment dew, the dawn has come only for you
I look up at the sky for the stars to be my guide

At the border of the plain where suddenly the forest dies
On the first day of the season
When the moon will shine full in the sky
I waited for you there bathed by a magic light
I have waited, I have prayed and this moment has become alive
One night fantasy..

***

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..We were the prisoners of our own fantasy..

[Blind Guardian]