turn your back and leave..

your death won't disturbe the stars

pogledala sam danas svoja 4 zida
namucena puna pukotina..koliko je uspomena sacuvala ova malena soba..koliko suza i koliko smijeha..previse tuge...previse veselja...sjetila sam se djetinjstva..zivjele smo za sk8 park..za rolama i sk8om...one lijepe cestitke koju jos uvijek imam..makar nismo u dobrim odnosima..sjecam se naseg smijeha i loservilla...sjecam se nasih snova nasih prica...brbljale smo satima...sjecam se kako sam frendu bacala cigare s prozora..kad smo ja i reaper radili pizzu..kad smo napravili party u boravku...kad sam dobila macku...sjecam se kad sam prvi put marka dovela kuci...kad su mi prijatelji s mora dosli...sve te lijepe uspomene...sjecam se djedove smrti...sjecam se tog dana...zeljela sam da me progutaju zidovi...falit ce mi ovaj mali stan..ona moja mala spajza..jedino utociste...heh...nekad sam tako htjela pobjeci..ali me nesto uvijek vracalo...sad idem dalje ponovno...stvarati nove uspomene
na novo mjesto...pobjeci od proslosti mozda
maknuti se od svakodnevnice...a mozda i ne...bilo mi je lijepo..tek sam shvatila koliko su mi neki ljudi znacili ili mi znace..i kako mi je lijepo bilo..steta sto nije potrajalo...mogla sam pobjeci..

25.01.2008. u 21:58 | 2 Komentara | Print | # | ^

	siječanj, 2008
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Siječanj 2008 (3)

Dnevnik.hr
Gol.hr
Zadovoljna.hr
Novaplus.hr
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anger is your blade

something about me..♥

ja sam netko jos ni sama nisam ustanovila tko sam..
imam 18 godina..imena nemam..bit cu ti izmisljeni prijatelj
..ja sam osoba koja ce i najtamnije tajne ponjeti u grob
sa sobom..ali isto tako osoba koju ces prvu prestati cjeniti
i zaboraviti..stat cu uz tebe i cuvati ti leda..a ti ces mi zabiti noz u njih
..navikla sam..ali sam tu na pomoci..

po prirodi nisam normalna osoba
prije sam bila vesela..pitam se sto mi se dogodilo
-prijatelji mi govore da sam se promjenila...
da sam crna..nemogu si pomoci..
ne vjerujem skoro nikome..
sve odluke vazem..i najsitnija rijec koju mi kazes
koja zvuci poput sale tebi
mene zaboli...
nije mi stalo do nicega..nije me briga skoro za nikoga
ne vjerujem u prijateljstva..samo u poznanstva i andele
kojih je malo u mom svijetu..

ne volim ljude..nekad sam bila drustvena..
kod nekih vidim samo prazna lica
..same lazi..
olovka i papir su mi najbolji prijatelji..
ali nije te briga jeli?
vec si me zaboravio

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
`'Tis some visitor,' I muttered, `tapping at my chamber door -
Only this, and nothing more.'

Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December,
And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.
Eagerly I wished the morrow; - vainly I had sought to borrow
From my books surcease of sorrow - sorrow for the lost Lenore -
For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels named Lenore -
Nameless here for evermore.

And the silken sad uncertain rustling of each purple curtain
Thrilled me - filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating
`'Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door -
Some late visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door; -
This it is, and nothing more,'

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
`Sir,' said I, `or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;
But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping,
And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door,
That I scarce was sure I heard you' - here I opened wide the door; -
Darkness there, and nothing more.

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before
But the silence was unbroken, and the darkness gave no token,
And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, `Lenore!'
This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, `Lenore!'
Merely this and nothing more.

Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning,
Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.
`Surely,' said I, `surely that is something at my window lattice;
Let me see then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore -
Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore; -
'Tis the wind and nothing more!'

Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter,
In there stepped a stately raven of the saintly days of yore.
Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he;
But, with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door -
Perched upon a bust of Pallas just above my chamber door -
Perched, and sat, and nothing more.

Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore,
`Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou,' I said, `art sure no craven.
Ghastly grim and ancient raven wandering from the nightly shore -
Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night's Plutonian shore!'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

Much I marvelled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so plainly,
Though its answer little meaning - little relevancy bore;
For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being
Ever yet was blessed with seeing bird above his chamber door -
Bird or beast above the sculptured bust above his chamber door,
With such name as `Nevermore.'

But the raven, sitting lonely on the placid bust, spoke only,
That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour.
Nothing further then he uttered - not a feather then he fluttered -
Till I scarcely more than muttered `Other friends have flown before -
On the morrow he will leave me, as my hopes have flown before.'
Then the bird said, `Nevermore.'

Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,
`Doubtless,' said I, `what it utters is its only stock and store,
Caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful disaster
Followed fast and followed faster till his songs one burden bore -
Till the dirges of his hope that melancholy burden bore
Of "Never-nevermore."'

But the raven still beguiling all my sad soul into smiling,
Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of bird and bust and door;
Then, upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking
Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous bird of yore -
What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt, and ominous bird of yore
Meant in croaking `Nevermore.'

This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing
To the fowl whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom's core;
This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining
On the cushion's velvet lining that the lamp-light gloated o'er,
But whose velvet violet lining with the lamp-light gloating o'er,
She shall press, ah, nevermore!

Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer
Swung by Seraphim whose foot-falls tinkled on the tufted floor.
`Wretch,' I cried, `thy God hath lent thee - by these angels he has sent thee
Respite - respite and nepenthe from thy memories of Lenore!
Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe, and forget this lost Lenore!'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

`Prophet!' said I, `thing of evil! - prophet still, if bird or devil! -
Whether tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore,
Desolate yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted -
On this home by horror haunted - tell me truly, I implore -
Is there - is there balm in Gilead? - tell me - tell me, I implore!'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

`Prophet!' said I, `thing of evil! - prophet still, if bird or devil!
By that Heaven that bends above us - by that God we both adore -
Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant Aidenn,
It shall clasp a sainted maiden whom the angels named Lenore -
Clasp a rare and radiant maiden, whom the angels named Lenore?'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

`Be that word our sign of parting, bird or fiend!' I shrieked upstarting -
`Get thee back into the tempest and the Night's Plutonian shore!
Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!
Leave my loneliness unbroken! - quit the bust above my door!
Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

And the raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting
On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door;
And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming,
And the lamp-light o'er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor;
And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor
Shall be lifted - nevermore!