About toys

It reminds me of an occasion when I was in Woolworths (a large store which sells toys, confectionary, stationery) and I was passing by the jewellery counter. Woolworths only sell imitation jewellery but I overheard one young woman tell the little boy she was with (I don’t know if the woman was the child’s mother or not) ‘you’re not supposed to be interested in jewellery those are for girls!!!’ I saw the hurt look on the little boy’s face and my interpretation is this little boy was fascinated by the colours of the necklace. It didn’t matter to him that jewellery is for girls what did matter was the bright colors.

One other example – I was standing in a queue behind a man and boy aged approx. 8 or 9. The boy had a toy aeroplane which can be taken apart. Boy was playing with his toy but unfortunately one small part became detached from the plane. The boy tried to find the missing part but to no avail. What happened? Well, he began to cry because he had lost something valuable and what did the man say? He said ‘you shouldn’t cry.’ The woman behind the counter intervened and said a devasting thing ‘don’t you know big boys like you don’t cry.’ Okay so it was said not in a heartless way but already this boy was being told a ‘real man/boy never, ever shows his feelings and he must never ever cry.’ What child hasn’t lost their favorite toy or plaything and then been devastated because it was lost. This boy was only 8 or perhaps younger (I’m not a good judge of children’s ages). But in both cases the boys were being told certain things and emotions are not appropriate because they happen to be male and not female. Emotions are what makes us human and they are not divided into female and male despite what so many individuals imagine. We all feel hurt and pain and yes sometimes crying is the most appropriate emotion. But telling a boy it is wrong is just one example of many wherein both girls and boys are constantly taught certain actions and behaviors are supposedly gendered and who betide a girl or boy transgressing their supposedly appropriate gendered behavior.

Oznake: toys, thoughts, gender