petak, 20.06.2008.

Mislim da je ljubav....

Koliko vas je igralo igru?
Koliko vas se je trudilo dobiti nešto za što znaš da ne možeš imati?
Koliko puta ste zbog toga patili?
I uvijek ponovo..
Uvijek iz početka...
Uvijek ista igra...
Znam jednog anđela, sa osmjehom koji sobu obasja. Sa očima što sjaje srećom, sa glasom kao pjesmom neke daleke ptice.. što te vuče da ju slušaš, gledaš, želiš dotaknuti.. Barem na trenutak.. Pomirisati njegovu kožu, osjetiti njegovu kosu pod svojim prstima. Barem na trenutak zaustaviti sve, da vrijeme ne ode, da ostane tu, kad ga gledam i sve dublje tonem i gubim se u njegovom pogledu..
Pogledu koji gleda nju. Njoj pruža ljubav, a meni bol. Njenom osmjehu što me guši, što me ubija, malo po malo. Jedan za drugim.. želim ga zagrliti, želim ga poljubiti.. Ali znam da ne mogu, da ga ne mogu imati.. I zašto patim, pitam se? Zašto budalu od sebe radim. zašto ne prestanem i odustanem..?
Zašto?
Zašto?!
Zato jer znam gdje to ide. Zato jer znam gdje će to završiti. Zato jer je to jače od mene.
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Ne mogu si pomoći, da ga ne gledam - a znam da mogu.
Da ga ne nasmijem - a znam da mogu.
Da ga ne usrećim - a znam da mogu.
Prepotentna kažete... Možda...
A možda sam i samo malo zaljubljena pa ne vidim istinu što se skriva iza svakog njegovog pogleda, svake njegove riječi, njegovog osmjeha. Kažu da ljubav ne poznaje granice.... nije istina.. ljubav jako dobro zna svoju granicu. Ona se nalazi tamo gdje ona voli njega a on nju ne.. I ništa to promijeniti ne može
A kada to znaš.. Zašto se i dalje trudiš? Zašto se mučiš? Zašto patiš?
Zašto?
Zašto?!
Zato jer želiš da postaviš smiješak na njegovo lice. Da vidiš sjaj u njegovim očima. Da vidiš te predivne bijele zube kako izviru svaki put kad se nasmije. Da znaš da si za to ti zaslužan. Da uživaš sa svakom njegovom riječju, svakim pogledom, pokretom njegovog tijela.
Krenuo je prema meni, srce mi je preskočilo udarac, zastalo na trenutak. nije znalo kuda da krene, da iskoči van i padne njemu pred noge ili da ostane tu gdje je i da kuca i dalje. Zastalo je i pomislilo samo na jednu stvar. "Da mi je svaki dan ovako!".. bez misli i daha, bez zraka i snage da se protivim
Da mi ga je svaki dan vidjeti..
Njegove oči što sjaje, njegov osmjeh što se širi, njegovu kosu što zadivljuje sve njegovom nestašnošću.. dok stoji tu predamnom....
Da mi ga je svaki dan vidjeti..
Da ga zagrlim barem na trenutak..


22:22 | Komentari (32) | Print | ^ |

nedjelja, 15.06.2008.

never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game



Austin: Just listen...
Sam: No, you listen. You turned out to be exactly who I thought you were. I never pretended to be somebody else. It's been me all along. And it was me who was hurt in front of everybody. Look, I didn't come here to Yell at you, okay? I know what it feels like to be afraid to show who you are. I was. But not anymore. And the thing is, I don't care what people think about me... because I believe in myself. And I know that things are gonna be okay. But even though I have no family, and no job, and no money for college... it's you that I feel sorry for.

I know that guy that sent those emails is somewhere inside of you, but, I can't wait for him... because waiting for you is like waiting for rain in this drought. Useless and disappointing.

I jedan tekst koji je napisala jedna cura nakon gledanja ovog filma... :
I am not a fan of waiting. I never really am. Well, for a couple of times I actually was. Like waiting along the line when I have to get my subjects during enrollment or when I wait for the start of my favorite program on the television. Those are just pretty small things to be waited for. I have never really done some serious waiting in my whole life… not until this guy came, and he made me wait until I just got used to it. When I first saw the movie A Cinderella Story where Hillary Duff and Chad Michael Murray paired up, I thought that it was just one of those almost-for-teens-only-high-school-life-slash-love-story movies. It was a story about Sam (Duff), who lost his father at a young age and was left to her cruel stepmother who had two evil daughters. Sam, under the codename princetongirl, had been exchanging e-mails with a Nomad, who turned out to be Austin Aimes (Murray), the most popular guy in their school. So, Austin, without knowing who princetongirl really is, asked Sam to meet him at the Homecoming dance. To cut the story short, their meet ended up without Austin knowing princetongirl’s real identity and when he found out the truth, he could not accept it first. Her confrontation with Austin inside the locker room was one of the best parts (better watch it). So in the end, Sam and Austin ended up well together. I never really paid attention to the message of the story. I kept watching it over again because I thought, with that cute movie, that was what an ordinary teenager, like me, would do. Then I finally got its message—“never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.” That was the exact quote from the movie. But behind these words, the message was simple—do not be afraid of showing who you really are. Believe in yourself and stand up for your beliefs. Do not allow anybody to have control over your life. Anyway, I loved one part of the movie. Sam quoted a very attention-grabbing sentence while confronting Austin in the locker room—“…because waiting for you, is like waiting for the rain in this drought, useless and disappointing.” This quote grabbed my attention and then I remembered the guy that I was talking about earlier. I don’t wanna mention his name so let’s just call him Dude. Dude and I had something very wonderful. We planned our future together. Everything was almost perfect. I was so in love with him that the thought of our relationship having a problem did not occur to me. We were together for six months and on the sixth month, he had to go out of the country for over a year with his parents. Even if I did not want us to part, I had no choice but to let him go. So, he left me with a promise that he will come back for me and that he loves me so much. I also made a promise that I will wait for him no matter what. With that, I accepted the fact that we had to part. Almost a month after he left, I found out that he left another girl here in the country. Dude and this girl had the same relationship that Dude and I had. But to my surprise, their relationship started two months before he left. I was still his girlfriend then. It broke my heart so much. It took me a very long time, as long as two years, that is until now, to move on. Even though he did not keep his promise within those two years, I still thought that maybe he’ll keep it next year, or ten years from now. As for me, my promise to him remains intact. I told myself that I would never give up waiting for him until I see him getting married. He was the only guy that made my heart beat fast and slow at the same time. I loved him so much and until now, I think I still do. I get hurt whenever I look at their (Dude and the girl) pictures in the internet. I mean, why are they happy after they’ve hurt me? Why can’t I be that girl? Then, I saw the movie… and I realized, how long am I gonna wait for him? If I continue waiting for him, will he be there in the end? If I keep my promise, will he do as well? Will he come back to me? Will hestill love me? Does he still love me right now as I write this? I kept on thinking about him and each day that passes never ends without me thinking of him. I want to keep on shouldering on. I do not want to give up this fight. I want to raise a family with him one day and I just want to look back from the future to where I sit now and just smile at everything that we have gone through. I want to continue loving him… But I cannot do any of these without him. I am not tired of loving him, but I am tired of waiting for him. Because waiting for him is like waiting for the rain in the drought—useless and disappointing.


21:45 | Komentari (9) | Print | ^ |

petak, 13.06.2008.

Jep :(

“I hate the way you talk to me. And the way you cut your hair. I hate the way you drive my car. I hate it when you stare I hate your big dumb combat boots. And the way you read my mind. I hate you so much it makes me sick - it even makes me rhyme. I hate the way you're always right. I hate it when you lie. I hate it when you make me laugh - even worse when you make me cry. I hate it that you're not around. And the fact that you didnt call. But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you - not even close, not even a little bit, not any at all.”

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...ja hoću bit lijepa kao ona....no:
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00:22 | Komentari (24) | Print | ^ |

ponedjeljak, 09.06.2008.

Msn...

e sad, jučer su me natjerali da pišem o ovoj temi... do sad u životu mi msn nije dosadio toliko.. u danu dobijem preko 5 requesta za prijateljstvo... ako se to može nazvati prijateljstvo... ja naravno prihvatim jer neznam te ljude pa ajd... 50% njih poslije blokiram, ma šta 50, 70%.... i opet jovo nanovo... svaki dan... prva pitanja koja postave ti ˝novi frendovi˝ su: jesi nevina, jesi za sex? i slična pitanja.... mislim,wtf?? a znaju da će bit blokirani al ajd, ak prođe prođe, ne ne...
trenutno imam 15 online i 111 offline... razmišljam kako bi mogla zbrisat neke... sa 50% njih ne pričam, zašto bi i pričala... 30% su stranci, dobro neki su ful oke i s njima pričam a ostalo... njet...
dalje, drugo što bi htjela napomenut su oni statusi gore kraj nadimka...
imamo online, busy, away (to su mi najbitniji)... e, ja kad sam na busy, znači da il sam stvarno busy il ne želim da mi se čuju oni iritantni zvukovi msn-a, a lijena sam za ugasit... online znamo što znači (ja se nadam), e a away je moj najdraži.... ja kad sam online, onda se hvala Bogu nitko ne javlja, a away... ala, onda poludim kad dođem doma (jer sam away) i vidim 20 prozora dolje ....
iritantno je to što nitko ne gleda taj status.. pa zašto onda postoji uopće? ... mislim, onak... ala... pošto nitko to ne gleda, ja sam i u personal napisala da me nema XD... a to glasi ovako:

˝jebemu mater! ak sam away, onda me nema! NEMA ME!!! (a za one koji ne pričaju jebeni Hrvatski: NOT HERE!)˝


neznam jel to bilo dovoljno jasno al uplašila sam i one koje treba i one koje ne treba :D i dok sam away, piše to... ali kad dođem, stavim na busy i napišem:

˝jebemu mater! ak sam away, onda me nema! NEMA ME!!! (a za one koji ne pričaju jebeni Hrvatski: NOT HERE!)-lol, tu sam (I´m here)˝


još jedna stvar.. kada ste away ili busy, imate auto message što znači da je poruka AUTOMATSKA... i tako jednom prilikom, meni je na automatskoj poruci pisalo:

˝Otišla sam kod tetke, dođem brzo˝


i dotični (neću mu reć ime jer bi ga osramotila) je napisao:

˝Sanja, šta je tebi? daj javi se..˝


...jel da se na to smijem il plačem? :D
i sad vi meni recite, kako da ja ostanem normalna? :)
ima samo par normalnih osoba na mom msn-u na koje sam ponosna kako lijepo znaju sve čitati... ah, to sam ih ja naučila :D ....

budite mi zdravi, lijepi i pametni :)

pusa samvan spešl XD


i da, ovo ja pjevam, i da ovo je sprdancija lol.... i da, ekran je crn hahaha... :D al ono.. pjesma je od Octobra :P lol.... bila je fajn dok ja nisam napravla cover XD

I da, Luka je mislio da nećem imat petlje ga stavit na blog al jesam XD hahahaha :D lol.. ma sprdancija XD

UPDATE: umro mi je bratić... tj. ubio se... sve o tome možete pročitati ovdje:
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
ne mogu vjerovat....


12:13 | Komentari (24) | Print | ^ |

nedjelja, 01.06.2008.

Izlazak in d siti :) lol

Ja i moja Nela ishle u grad jucher ... nut Hodale smo bose.. lol... Usred grada... Ja se skoro popishala pokraj glavne prometnice (a Veki zna da ja volim pishat svakih 5 minuta... lol)...
Imam par slichica za vash zujo ... Iz grada... da... e i bile smo na Kupi... Napao me neki pas, htio se igrat.... Svu me zmazho cerek lol... a kaj chesh...

e ova fotka mi je genijalna cerek to je slikano na kupalishtu yes
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e a tu ja pokazujem kak me pas zmazao zujo mislim d... pogle tenke, kaj je napravio sretan al ajd .... shto god ga veseli... isss, kak sam bijela ... moram u Rijeku pothitno... lolich ...
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moja facha... rofl to smo se glupirale ... lolich ... pravile fache pa poshto sam ja expert... rekoh ajd yes
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a ovu sliku sam stavila za Luku cerek mada nemam pojma zakaj mu je tolko legendarna rolleyes
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e a ovo su nashe noge kak smo hodale boshe fino
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i sad nek netko kazhe da smo mi lude... pogotovo da sam ja luda... yes
imash shta protiw? nut
i mislila sam rofl


17:24 | Komentari (19) | Print | ^ |

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