08.01.2005., subota
finnaly
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nesto mi sasvim sporo ide kompicu u zadnje vrijeme...ja sam kriva,ne cistim dovoljno,ko zna kolko sam ja virusa pokupila u ovih par godina-jer,gospodo-ja nemam antivirus :S no,danas,ako Bog da,cu da se prebacim na isdn,al mroam cekat starog da dodje s posla,jerbo je on vlasnik telefona :D no,idemo dalje... spiritus mi odlazi...i kent beliv it! jbg,svrnite brzo svi i ostavite koji zadnji komentarcici ovdje imala sam hm...ne znam ni ja...pno vremena za razmasljianje u posljednjih nekoliko dana...i kontala sam i o onome sto ste mi rekli na pretprosli post...mozda ste i u pravu,al cak i ako je tako,bez da zvucim sad,pesimisticn,pateticno,ili stereotipno,on nikada nece osjecati za mene to sto ja osjecam za njega...naravno uvijek postoji rizika da je bas suprotno tome,al da bas iz tog razloga ne govori nista...no...nekako znam,osjecam da to nije tako...malo sam se opustila i prepustila mastanjima tinejdjerke,po prvi put nakon dugo vremena...uvijek sam imala losa iskustva s tim..no,sada sam morala...bilo je jace od mene...ustvari to su bila sjecanja pomjesana sa zeljama... voljela bih,tako bih voljela... ali... ne,nece moci...jbg...nece moci...sjetila sams e i prvog naseg poljubca..fino je sjetiti se toga ponovo,i te noci...ne,nije bio prvi...ali je bio prelijep...nisam ga vidjela evo vec nekoliko dana,i ko zna kad cu ga oept vdjeti,da mu posaljem poruku-nemma hrabrosti,ne znam sta bih mu pisala...trenutno ne znam...da ga zovem...ne znam sta bih mu pricala,posto se svakako kad god pricam na telefon nekako ustoglim,zbunim,ne znam ni ja... a jebemu!bila sam tako happy i zadovoljna sto mi se niko ni ne svidja,a daleko od toga da sam zaljubljena...i bila sam bas zadovoljna tim stanjem...nisam se brinula ni o cemu,nisam patila,nisam mastala...bila sam slobodna...moj um je bio slobodan takvih glupsoti...al sad...sad nemogu a da ne mastam...a znam da to nije dobro...kad god o necemu previse razmisljam od toga ne bude nista... mislila sam mu reci,pa kud puklo da puklo...no bojims e da nisam prenaglila jer ipak...7 godina prijateljstva nije malo...al nije ni 7 godina ljubavi...ili ako nista ogromne simpatije...joj ne znam...ama bas ne znam...kontala sam sazvati staru raju,onu prvu raju,onu s kojom je moj zivot poceo dobivati smisao i pcoeo liciti na zivot mlade osobe...onu raju,s kojom sam toliko propatila i toliko se radovala,toliko dernecila,pila i toliko ljubavi osjetila...prepateticno?ne...jebes patetiku...sad sam iskrena...al i on je tu...to je ta raja to fuckin drustvo...tu je on,tu su jos 5 ekstra havera...jedan,koji je uvijek igrao 'cool guy-a',kojeg nista nije nikad porijedilo,al koji je kada sam plakala zbog necega na njegovom derneku,sakupio svu raju i isao da prebije tog lika :) jedan jaran,koji je uvijek bio kompleksas,i koji je volio drugima nabijati komplekse,al koji me nije pustio da se dosadjujem sama na nekoj svadbi citavu noc,nego je pretrpio sve i osta sa mnom do zore :D hvala grizly :D jednoga koji je volio da izaziva djevojcice,koji je da bi dokazao kolko je jak,lupio svom snagom o zid i slomio saku,na nagovor tih jarana :D al koji mi je dao svoju duksericu jednu noc,kad je bilo uasno hladno,i otpratio me do kuce-jaranski naravno. jednog s kojim sam se na mrtvo ime posvadjala i pobila(da!)kad smo bili manji,al s kojim sam kasnije postala pravo dobra,i kojeg i dalje akd vidim,dodje mi da ga samo zagrlim i izljubim onu celavu glavu :D tu su i bojler kod kojeg smo jedno ljeto provodili dan i noc u stanu,jeli cokolino(jer smo samo za to imali love) i ponekad pastetu...kod kojeg je svaki treci dan bio dernek,i koji je uuvijek bio ekstra jaran,al on ne zivi vise ovdje... jednog koji je kad smo bili skroz mali,trenirao kosarku(tek je poceo bio,al je prirodni talenat za to),i trebao ici u ameriku sa klubom na 20 dana...i zvao je men i havericu da idemo s njim,kao on ce reic da smo mu sestre,reko mu trener da to moze :D koji mi je za 9-ti rodjendan,jedini dosao na rodjendan,i bo noramala skroz,kao da su svi tu...donio mi je dezedorans tada...sta li je to trebalo znaciti,hahahah :D i tu je onda i on...o njemu evo razmisljam svih ovih dana... onda je tu jedna mala,koja se odselila u usa,i dvije godine nakon toga napravila pomentju kad se vratila vamo u toku raspusta :D nismo se cule neko vrijeme...prije smo preko neta pricale,al vremenom covjek isprica sve sto ima reci,i onda prodju sedmice a da ne padne ni jedna rijec... dvije koje su uvijek bile najbolje jaranice,ali su tako razlicite...jedna je uvijek tu za tebe kad god ti treba,i mrina je,dok ej druga onako,vise cura s kojom se mozes super zezat...but that's all...u vecini slucajeva onda jos jedna plava mala :) vidjela sma je neki dan iz busa...nikad nista lsoe nije uradila ili rekla o meni ili prema meni...uvijek je bila luckasta i smijala se...a kad je nanervirana onda pocne psovati sve :D ali to je za sekundu prodje,i ona oept skakuce okolo :) ne znam vise da li je ostala ista ili ne...dugo se nismo vidjela...a kamoli pricale... jedna za koju su svi uvijek misli da je streberka,d ane dize glauv od knjige...a ja kad god dodjem il je nazoem,ona gleda neku seriju...djete je prirodno pametno,i uvijek je sve petice imala...cak i sad u jednoj od najtezih gimnazija u gradu,ima sve petice...hahaha...ona je ostala vijerna popu i rnb-u :D t je jos jedna koja se cesto selila tamo vamo,al sad ponovo zivi blizu mene i ove male streberkice :D cura ima parvo fin glas,i suepr pjeva one pop pjesme,i rnb,i sta ja znam :D samo je previse stidna :D zajednos mo pjevale na maturi nasoj...svi su plakali...ne zbog nas,ne zbog nacina na koji pjevamo(premda ko zna...mozda su ih zabolile tolko usi:D),nego zbog pjesme koju smo pjevali... kao zvjezda koja leti nocu i sjaji se kao mjesec koji tako blago na nas smjesi se kao neko ko uvijek zna sta da radi sta da govori kao neko ko se nikada ne predaje a da se ne bori to ste Vi za nas,Vi ste najbolja na svijetu to ste Vi za nas i nema niko bolji,to znam to ste Vi za nas,i mogu ici na drugu planetu ali necu sresti nikog ko lici na Vas ima toliko lijepih stvari koje znamo o vama i da vas neko ne poznaje,dovoljno je da vas pogleda idu tako brzo ovi dani i mjeseci al zauvijek u nasim srcima ostat ce te Vi to ste Vi za nas,Vi ste najbolja na svijetu to ste Vi za nas i nema niko bolji to znam to ste Vi za nas i mogu ici na drugu planetu ali necu sresti nikog,ko lici na Vas ok,mozete se sad smijait kolko hocete,al ovo je pjesma posvecena nasoj UVIJEK razrednoj...ta zena je cinila cuda za nas! tu sam pjesmu pisala u osnovnoj,i vrlo sam ponosna na nju iako bih danas mozda pisala malo ozbiljnije malo durgacije,sredjenije ne bih mogla napisati nsita sto je bilo iskrenije nego ovo tada volim svoj novi razred,svoje novo drustvo,sve ljude oko mene,za koje znam da i oni mene vole...ali ponekad mi jednostavno nedostaju oni dobri stari klinci... oni dobri stari puteljci,i prolazi kroz vrtove,zive ograde,ispod mostova,preko rijeke po popucalom limu na rolaama u 11 sati anvecer(nije nigdje nista osvjetljeno),oni izleti na stojcevac i 60puta dnevno prolazenje kroz tunel zajebancija u razredu,na dernecima,oni rodjendani,i ona veselja,one utakmice medju razredima(kada smo cak imali i himnu i zastavu naseg razreda-uvijek smo bili najbolji i prvi u sportu,rijetko kad bi ans pobjedili...a jedno jesu...i to u odbojci-djevojke...bio je drugi i odlucijuci set...vodili su nas 21:5,uspijei smo servama dovesti do rezultata 21:22,da bi nas na kraju ipak pobjedile rezultatom 26:24...ali,smos e borili ko nikad)... no,bila su to lijepa vremena...cak mislim da imam negdje pjesmu posvecenu tome...samo d apokusam anci...ona je u onoj staroj deedl svesci,koju sam dobila od sovg prvog momka za mjesec dana veze :D a to je bio najbolji poklon koji mi je mogao napraviti...nema je sada,mora da je medju stavrima gdje su mi i stari dnevnici...kasnije cu anci...joa...jesma se raznjezila tokom pisanja ovoga...previs eje znam...zao mi je...zao... |
- 14:17 - Komentari (4) - Isprintaj - #
Dnevnik.hr |
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no name-just pain
    (ta 'pomenuta' scena iz filma 'sanjari')     Bendovi(i artisti) koje volim i cije cd-ove i mp3-ce trenutno forsiram maximalno Aqualung Tonic Turtles Blur Sufjan Stevens Adam green Oasis Imogine heep Jive Eles dios malos doves ellen ten dammme Dido Nelly furtado Negativ Juli sentenced iced earth nirvana placebo anathema lost prophets evanescence on thorns i lay lacuna coil guano apes alanis morisette papa roach(lovehatetragedy-u znak dobrih starih vremena:-)) van gogh i et...to e to trenutno... TRENUTNO CITAM 11 Minuta - citam... Choices - Nancy Toder - procitano Wien um 1900-procitano Oliver twist-na citanju Demijan—precitavam po ko zna koji put Tajna veza-procitana Zamka za snove-S.King=procitano Ponornica-S.Kulenovic-procitan kabinet cudesa-procitano linearni grad-nikako da dovrsim a nema ni 100 strana radije uzmi moga brata(njem.)-procitano citadela-cronin- procitano misterije svijeta-davno predjeno g.g.marquez-ljubav u doba kolere-nikad procitala et...tolko za sad... ...Sweet child in time you'll see the line The line that's drawn between the good and the bad See the BLIND man shooting at the world Bullets flying taking toll If you've been bad, Lord I bet you have And you've not been hit by flying lead You'd better close your eyes and bow your head And wait for the ricochet... evo mojih dosadasnjih googlizama...tj.kako me ljudi nadjose na googlu... -ocu ajvar za cevape(???) -bol u ledjima kod djece -nazif gljiva.mp3(e ovaj mi je najkrvaviji bez sumnje) -Lyrics-sheeter feat.amy lee -blog sam uradila -pjesma za spavanje -jajacki izbori -dnevnik jedne teenager-ke -hand made nakit -pearl jam-voice for change -lektire za malu raju -bajke -srebrenicani slike(obratiti se gdniu Amoru Masovicu,a ne meni...) Guns'n'Roses-Don't Cry If we could see tomorrow What of your plans No one can live in sorrow Ask all your friends Times that you took in stride They're back in demand I was the one who's washing Blood off your hands Don't you cry tonight I still love you baby Don't you cry tonight Don't you cry tonight There's a heaven above you baby And don't you cry tonight I know the things you wanted They're not what you have With all the people talkin' It's drivin' you mad If I was standin' by you How would you feel Knowing your love's decided And all love is real An don't you cry tonight Don't you cry tonight Don't you cry tonight There's a heaven above you baby And don't you cry tonight I thought I could live in your world As years all went by With all the voices I've heard Something has died And when you're in need of someone My heart won't deny you So many seem so lonely With no one left to cry to baby An don't you cry tonight An don't you cry tonight An don't you cry tonight There's a heaven above you baby And don't you cry Don't you ever cry Don't you cry tonight Baby maybe someday Don't you cry Don't you ever cry Don't you cry Tonight Cold Heritage-Lacuna Coil Don't tell me why I'm so near to commit a crime When I stay alone here in front of you (I'm here) Illusion falls when you're not honest about the way I feel I know I need only your voice Saving all my words only for you Forgive me Saving all my words only for you I don't know why There's a limit to defy With the vision of the future at my feet (I'm here) The night embrace me while The picture simply blows me away I feel I'll need only your voice And I'm lonely here inside of me Deep inside of me Believe the light in me And I'm lonely here inside of me Deep inside of me Reveal the light in me Saving all my words only for you Forgive me And I'm lonely here inside of me Deep inside of me Believe the light in me And I'm lonely here inside of me Deep inside of me I've never, never felt myself this way before And I want to leave with my tears If you'll disappear Believe in the light in me Saving all my words only for you Forgive me Falling on me knees only for you Forgive me Bosnia-the Crannberries I would like to state my vision Life was so unfair We live in our secure surroundings And people die out there Bosnia, was so unkind Sarejevo, change my mind And we all call out in despair All the love we need isn't there And we all sing songs in our room Sarejevo erects another tomb Sarejevo! Sarejevo! Sarejevo! Sarejevo! Bosnia, was so unkind Sarejevo! Sarejevo! Sarejevo! Bosnia, was so unkind Sure, things would change If we really wanted them to No fear for children anymore There are babies in their beds Terror in their heads For the love of life! When do the saints go marching in? When do the saints go marching in? When do the saints go marching in? When do the saints go marching in? Rummmpatipum, Rummmpatipum... Traboo, Traboo, Traboo... Watching Over Me-Iced Earth I had a friend many years ago One tragic night he died The saddest time of my life For weeks and weeks I cried Through the anger and through the tears I've felt his spirit through the years I'd swear, He's watching me Guiding me through hard times (chorus) I feel it once again It's overwhelming me His spirit's like the wind The angel guarding me Oh, I know, oh, I know He's watching over me Oh, I know, oh, I know He's watching over me We shared dreams like all best friends Blood brothers at the age of ten We lived reckless, he paid the price But why? Why did he have to die? It still hurts me to this day Am I selfish for feeling this way? I know he's an angel now Together we'll be someday I feel it once again It's overwhelming me His spirit's like the wind The angel guarding me Oh, I know, oh, I know He's watching over me Oh, I know, oh, I know He's watching over Shinead O'Connor-Nothing Compares To You It's been seven hours and fifteen days since you took your love away I go out every night and sleep all day since you took your love away since you've been gone I can do whatever I want I can see whomever I choose I can eat my dinner in a fancy restaurant but nothing I said nothing can take away these blues, 'cause nothing compares nothing compares to you It's been so lonely without you here like a bird without a song nothing can stop these lonely tears from falling tell me baby where did I go wrong? I could put my arms round every boy I see but they'd only remind me of you I went to the doctor guess what he told me guess what he told me he said girl you better try to have fun no matter what you do but he's a fool 'cause nothing compares nothing compares to you All the flowers that you planted momma in the backyard all died when you went away I know that living with you, baby, was sometimes hard but I'm willing to give it another try nothing compares Vader-Whisper Jaunting on maps of our bodies We wandering through vastness of inner and outer space Through and through Immersed in love of will. I am laying on my back And gazing at inky black sky Serpent shapes Moves of your hands The mind is burning Drowned in carnal desires Inflowing pictures Visions of dead world Fancy visions of dead world Gives me shiver when You caresses my body Emptiness beyond We are alone on this earth And all treasures of the world Belong to us The sacrilege of love And sacrificial love Weals are wandering on your skin You are wielding my sword This is the greatest gift We received from mother Earth So let's play this game Bodies surrounded by fire And envy of stars Stimulation of every part Of mind, body and soul Our never-ending ritual Will always go on Like war never ends Like fall always comes Like stars are shining On nightly sky Our love of will Will go on To eternal death Of the human world.
painkillers cooperated
Imaginary-Evanescence i linger in the doorway of alarm clock screaming monsters calling my name let me stay where the wind will whisper to me where the raindrops as they're falling tell a story in my field of paper flowers and candy clouds of lullaby i lie inside myself for hours and watch my purple sky fly over me don't say i'm out of touch with this rampant chaos - your reality i know well what lies beyond my sleeping refuge the nightmare i built my own world to escape in my field of paper flowers and candy clouds of lullaby i lie inside myself for hours and watch my purple sky fly over me swallowed up in the sound of my screaming cannot cease for the fear of silent nights oh how i long for the deep sleep dreaming the goddess of imaginary light dreaming my dreams-the Crannberries All the things you said to me today Changed my perspective in every way These things count to mean so much to me Into my faith you and your baby It's out there 3x If you want me I'll be here It's out there 3x If you want me I'll be here I'll be dreaming my dreams with you And there's no other place That I'd lay down my face I'll be dreaming my dreams with you It's out there 3x If you want me I'll be here 2X I'll be dreaming my dreams with you And there's no other place That I'd lay down my face I'll be dreaming my dreams with you oceans-On Thorns I Lay In the magic mirror of my soul, I stare at the person that I love, It's the magical carpet on which, I travel on the erebus, In the land of fairy tales So I close my eyes again Feeling so lonely in the rain The mother of sunrise gives hope She can fly me over green fields And... The great oceans away from Days of hatred and despair... I saw immortal roses And a gold field with giant trees That shined immensely... I saw ancient walls and palaces everywhere... Amidst ancient gardens and magical trees... So I close my eyes again... Whit Bitterness and Joy-Sentenced It has now spread itself all over inside me all the way to the brain and down to my knees My time comes closer with each day it lets me see - with each night the pain keeps me from sleep Life has given me much - maybe taken more but those good times were always worth waiting for When it's time for goodbyes I will leave grieving and yet so relieved with bitterness and joy Pleasure and pain; Heaven and Hell - my memories What a long and strange trip this has been for me What a short and strange life this has been It has given me much - maybe taken more but those good times were always worth waiting for When it's time to take leave of this world I will leave with bitterness and joy What a long and strange trip this has been for me What a short and strange life this has been It has given me much - maybe taken more but those good times were always worth waiting for When it's time for goodbyes I will leave grieving and yet so relieved with bitterness and joy Life has given me much - maybe taken more but those good times were always worth waiting for When it's time to take leave of this world I will leave with bitterness and joy Nothing Else Matters-Metallica So close no matter how far couldn't be much more from the heart forever trusting who we are and nothing else matters never opened myself this way life is ours, we live it our way all these words I don't just say and nothing else matters yea, trust I seek and I find in you every day for us something new open mind for a different view and nothing else matters never cared for what they do never cared for what they know and I know so close no matter how far couldn't be much more from the heart forever trusting who we are and nothing else matters never cared for what they do never cared for what they know and I know never opened myself this way life is ours, we live it our way all these words I don't just say trust I seek and I find in you every day for us something new open mind for a different view and nothing else matters never cared for things they say never cared for games they play I never cared for what they do I never cared for what they know and I know yea, yea, yea so close no matter how far couldn't be much more from the heart forever trusting who we are no nothing else matters Skid Row-Slave To The Grind You got me forced to crack my lids in two I'm still stuck inside the rubber room I gotta punch the clock that leads the blind I'm just another gear in the assembly line-oh no The noose gets tighter around my throat But I ain't at the end of my rope CHORUS 'Cause I won't be the one left behind Can't be king of the world If you're slave to the grind Tear down the rat racial slime Can't be king of the world if you're slave to the grind. Get it? A routine injection, a lethal dose But my day in the sun ain't even close There's no need to waste your prayers on me You better mark my words 'cause I'm history. Yes indeed You might beg for mercy to get by But I'd rather tear this thorn from my side CHORUS They swallowed their daggers by turning their trick They tore my intentions apart brick by brick I'm sick of the jive You talk verbal insecticide CHORUS I said slave to the grind Slave to the grind Slave to the grind |
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