10.09.2004., petak
besane noci Vol.3
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evo ga...besane noci...ponovo...uzeh sebi za obavezu to da ipak pisem,iako nisam online,pa to kasnije pod tim datumom stavljam na blog...imat cete sta citati...ako budete htjeli naravno...evo za 6 minuta pocinje emisija u kojoj par "ludjaka"(ma ekztra su ljudi!!!:-))pustaju metal,rock,i punk...do 23h,po svom izboru,od 23 do 24h muzicke(meni uvijek obavezno ide sweet child o'mine uz pozdrav za mene,i ponekad za moju raju...sharan to sve fino procita ;-))a nakon toga,sharan nastavlja s emisijom"sharan himself-metal night" gdje pusta,black,death,trash i negdje oko trice pocinje s finim doom-om koji uspavljuje...et...gospodo,to ja radim petkom...slusam radio...al ne slusam ja to tek tako,...ne ostajem ja tek tako petkom u kuci...ima tu neko...neko ko mi preko shtele ispuni muzicku uvijek...nije sharan...:-) u svakom slucaju...skola je pocela evo prije deset dana...a ja sam vec smorena...mislim,jeste vec naporno na casovima,jer je gradivo prilicno dosadno...ali nisam zbog toga smorena...ne znam sta mi je...od,cini mi se,februara ili marta(kolko se sjecam)ove godine...ne postoji bas mnogo osoba koje podnosim...prvenstveno,iz moje skole podnosim svega 4 osobe(od 650...?!)...i idem u skolu nazor...jedva izdrzim na casovima...a ujutro kad dodjem sam uzasno nervozna vec,i kad mi neko od onih s kojima sam nekad bila ekztra pridje,ja ga na najgori moguci nacin odjebem,ili vrijedjam tolko dok me se ne okani...znam da je to okrutno i glupo,ali nemogu to kontrolisati svi mi idu na zivce...i,da...postala sam shtreber....posvetila sam se skoli ko nikad..radim redovno matematiku,nosim stvari,radim tjelesni(jedina od djevojaka u razredu...a skoro citav razred su djevojke),i vec par puta sam dobila(doduse u shali,ali ipak...)nadimak"shtreber"...to me pomalo ubija,al ne zelim usrati ovu godinu ni po koju cjenu...i oni ce se kad tad uhvatiti knjige,al ja zelim sebi olaksati malo...nije mi svejedno sta misle,ili govore,ali mi je ipak vaznije da bar na pocetku dobijem par ocjena solidnih...jer,znam ja sebe,...cim proljece na pomolu,mene nema u skoli...to je tako...tad izgubim i motivaciju i zelju,tad sam samo u oblacima,na ulicama tacnije,ili bilo gdje,samo ne u skoli,i samo ne na casu...medjutim...nesto me je pravooo obradovalo...kada sam se "pozalila"nekome,poslavski poruku,u kojoj pisem kako mi ide na quarc sve to...dobila sam super odgovor...mislim...prvo...sjecate se kad sam rekla da niko nije nikad skontao kad mi treba reci neku recenicu,ili dati zagrljaj...ono...da mi procita dushu...ne znam dal je ovo bilo citanje dushe,ali me je obradovalo,jer je bilo tacno to sto mi treba...pisalo je"ma samo im reci da odshtrumfaju,shtreberu moj krampooshichasti :D " ne znam dal kontate sta je to za mene znacilo...razumijete...vjerovano ne...i ja ne objasnjavam stvari bas na najbolji i najjasniji nacin...ali...prvi put mi neko nije pametovao,nego prihvatio da jeste tako nesto sto kazem....eh...ako ste skontali istha...ipak...ovom prilikom...HANI...HVALA TI! i inace,navedoh da skolu,i one u skoli ne podnosim...izvan skole...imam par osoba,koje mogu podnjeti max.par sati...al to je rijetkost...i naravno,tu je brickich...joj...prije par mjeseci nikad ne bih rekla da ce to sve biti ovako kao danas,al fakat,fakat,fakat mi je predrago sto se znamo!mislim,bas znamo!poznajemo...uglavnom...to je loooodoooo djete:)))))) uvijek joj se valjam od smjeha!al u susstini ona je dobra pravo...u dushi!!!! ;-) ma zlato,sreca,dusha od djeteta...al sorry,nije ona djete:Dhaj da ne gnjavim vise...ustvari...sto bi ja sad prestajala pisati...?! aggggggggrrrrrrrr...evo vec je 22.15 a shran se jos nije oglasio...vamo pici neki trance...ccc...a ja ocekujem da mi cibnu gunse...cccc...ej sharane sine... uglavnom...danas sam bila u skul,i sha se desilo?svasta...al da bih mogla to ispricati,moram vam ispricati sta se desilo jucer...eh vako... sjedim ja,jedva cekam da zvoni,na posljednjem casu-sociologija...profa mi je neka rodica,pa mogu da spavama na casu,al...et...nekako volim sociologiju i filozofiju,i psihologiju,pa spavam samo ponekad...uglavnom...stize meni sms: "eeeee,sreco...sta ima?znas ono sto smo govorile...ono prije nekoliko mjeseci da mi mosh nabavit...znas vec sta...mozel to jos uvijek?" ja se prvo malko nasmijah,jer sma mislila da me haverka zeza...i pitam ja nju"za kad,i koliko ti treba?" kaze ona(joj ovo sad ono...rekla-kazala...)"za sutra navecer,i ima nas tri kandidata vamo,i josh ti:)" ja ono-vidi ona fakat ozbiljno-i jedva docekam zvono(to je bilo najduzih 7 minuta u mom zivotu...)odjurim do drustvenog smjera,i ne zateknem tu ovu haverku...al et,da prvo objasnim o cemu je rijec...prije par mjeseci smo ja i jedna dobra haverka nesto pricale...o svemu i svacemu,i bile smo prao u crnjaku(samo napomena ovdje...sharan se oglasio,napokon!kaze"i opet kasnimo..."heheh...i tu je i dj ajvar...ahhh)i nesto brbljale oko vutre,i toga...iskreno,ja to nikad nisam probala josh...i ne znam bil i probala....mozda...ne znam,iskreno...ni za sta ja nemogu garantovati 100%,al ono...ne bih vjerovatno...al...ipak znam puno te raje,cak imam par dobrih haverki,koje se krecu u tim krugovima...uglavnom...ja sam ovoj haverki to vece rekla,da ako ikad bude htjela,da me zove,da to ne radi bez mene,tam vam,tj.da cu joj ja jeftinije zbaviti(jesam li ja normalna?!!!sad kad vako kontam...cccc...fakat...e...ccc...al sam mislila,kad vec hoce,onda bolje da ne uzima neko sranje,neg da uzme nesto povjerljivo i sigurno...jeb ga...)...i tako je ostalo na tome...i sad je ona to trazila od mene,...haha...ccc...uglavnom...sad se vracamo do one haverke s drustvenog smjera...nje znaci nije bilo...zavrsila je prije mene cas...i ja mob u ruke,i zovem je,ona nedostupna,zovem joj tipa,i on nedostupan...i naravno,pretpostavljm gdje su i sta rade...hih...jesam zloca...ccc...i zovem sad ovu drugu...i objasnim njoj stvar...treba mi do sutra ujutro,ako moz nocas da zbavi njen tip,dat cu joj sutra kintu,al ona svorc,nema ni prebijene banke,te se nekako dogovrimo za sutra oko keca da se nadjemo,da ce bit gotovo do cetvorke to...al...fazon...hehe...ni ja nemam banke!i moram do sutra nabaviti...i moja stara meni(ne svjesno)pomogne u tome(usput,ne ureklo mi se,al odnosi sa starom su hvala Bogu bolji,al sa starim koci jos svasta...al et...)...naime,kaze doci ce mi sutra u skolu u jedan da opravda jedan dan kad sma bila bolesna,i da mi da lovu da idem kupovat knjige...meni raj...tolko dugo nisam bila u gradu,i reko...bas cu iskoristi max. i tumarov meni stara dodje tacno u jedan...opravda to na brzaka,lovu u ruke(100 KM ili DM odnosno nesto vise od 50 EURA i plus 18 za kupon),i produzi dalje...u tom momentu dolazi ova haverka,ja joj dajem lovu(ne sve od ovoga,znatno manju svotu),ona svom tipu(joj ljudi,tek sad skontah cime se ja bavim....ccc...ja mislim da bih za ovo mogla kaznu dobru dobiti...ne samo do staraca...mislim da ce me brickich udaviti kad ovo procita... : S),i dogovorimo se,posto mi imamo jos jedan cas,da ce on to nabaviti,i nas dvije nakon nastave idemo u grad,i on ce nas nazvat kad nabavi da se nadjemo...uglavno sve do 16:45 mora biti gotovo,najkasnije...jer ova havekra kojoj sam obecala tad to mora uzeti...i tako i bude...ja fino knjige uzmem odmah kod skole,da se ne bih mucila trazeci u gradu,hihihi,i skok u grad...nas dvije fino na kaficu...joj...i tu ima jos nesto...bila sam opet prestala,ko fole,pusiti...al nemoze jeb ga...danas opet uzeh pljuge,i pri prvom dimu,jednostavno kad prodje kroz pluca,jeb ga...nervozna sam uzasno u zadnje vrijeme,zato sam i pocela pusiti...i to me opusti...opusti cak toliko kao da sam se napila,il nest tako...jer fakat,za razliku od drugih na mene cigare imaju dejstvo ko neke tablete za smirenje...nakon pete imam osjecaj ko da lebdim,ali je to nice osjecaj...(joj,krenuh ja wrong way totale...ccc)uglavnom...mi se ispricasmo u "rock teatru"...to je vako fin kafic...inace dosadan poprilicno ljeti,ali cim jesen,i zima dodju,bude bolje...fino je uredjeno,ko neki podrum,i svuda su slike uokvirene raznih rock,metal,i reggee artista...domacih i stranih...stvarno je ekztra...a u wc-u ima slika kurta cobaina...tj.bila je...danas je nisam primjetila:D uglavnom...ispijale smo kafeTINE i cigare su postepeno nestajale...brblale smo pomalo,i pomalo s konobarima,al i sa dva tipa koji su sjedili do nas(stvarno su preslatki...jeb ga...)i onda se njen tip javio(joj sad sharan pustio stairway to heaven...genijalna pjesma...al sam cula da u reversu je sotonistickog karaktera)i reao da dolazi za deset minuta...dosao je iznerviran jer je imao nekih problema...medjutim meni je gandzu dao odmah,naravno ne ofirno,i sjedili smo u cosku,tako da nije bilo opasnosti,al mi je i rekao da je nestasica,te da nije bilo mnogo,ali da je dobra do bola,i da ne treba pretjerati,mze biti za 3 jointa,al da prvo sacekamo reakciju nakon 2-3 dima,jer je zestoka(?!?!)...jos smo ispusili po jednu,i onda nabrzaka da stignemo trolu,do grbavice...onda pred gimnaziju,gdje me je haverka cekala...nabrzaka smo izmjenili novac i gandzu,jer ja ne bih mogla nocas svakako,i naravno one su dale samo novac-proviziju za tipa koji je nabavio...a ostatak sam ja platila...ne smeta mi to... e sad...ne znam kako cete reagovati na ovo,da li cete shvatiti moje razloge,da li sam ih uopce imala,da li cete to prihvatiti kao nesto normalno,kao nesto sto svako radi...voljela bih da sam mogla nocas bar biti s njima...iskreno...voljela bih to...a da se napushim...nisam bas sigurna...al...sad cete se mozda razocarati u mene,al mislim da su rijetki oni koji nisu prosli ovu fazu...a znam da je ovim haverkama to rad neke furke...one cak ni cigare ne pushe pravo...mislim fushaju,kao i ja u pocetku,tako da znam da ce vutra skoro pa bzvze izgoriti..al nek im bude chejf...i znam da im je to vise rad hippi fazona,i da nisu zainteresovane za hemiju...al,ne opravdavam ovim ni njih ni sebe...jer ako neko ocekuje da cu sad reci da se kajem...ne kajem se...jos...mozda cu se nekad kajati...al jos ne...ovo sto radim sada,sto sam radila danas,i od sada sto cu raditi,znam da radim svjesno...nisam vise mala,kao sto je to bilo prije,i znam da je ona jedna stvar prije bila ne svjesno...al ovo je svjesno...da...ovo je svjesno...i moram priznati da sam osoba koja voli rizik i adrenalin u krvi...i ovo danas nije bila mozda velika stvar,ali je i za mene i za njih predstavljal rizik,i zato je meni ipak cinila zadovoljstvo,a i njima,jos i sad cini zadovoljstvo,ako su uspjele smotati...hahahah... a osim toga...ja i one smo i prije redovno imale pijanke svoje...znale smo se opijati(premda fakat nikad nisam bila pijana da ne znam za sebe...to nisam sebi nikad dozvolila...ali mogu i sto sta podnjeti)i slaviti...i to je ensto zabranjeno,i ne bas zdravo i preporucljivo...i ko god kaze da je alkohol kolko tolko bolji od marihuane,grijesi!definitivno...alkohol je po meni vece zlo,i mozda mogu reci da se kajem sto sam ikad probala,ali jos vise se kajem sto ne zelim prestati s tim...ok mi bude kad smo skupa svi i slavimo bilo sta...al do kad ce to tako moci ne znam...ma nije bitno...sad sam u toj jebenoj fazi...ko zna kad ce prestati...imala sam faza do sad puno,al ova najduze do sad traje... ej ev pustaju sad nirvanu...joj ja se najezim kad cujem kurtov glas...woow... |
- 23:18 - Komentari (6) - Isprintaj - #
Dnevnik.hr |
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no name-just pain
    (ta 'pomenuta' scena iz filma 'sanjari')     Bendovi(i artisti) koje volim i cije cd-ove i mp3-ce trenutno forsiram maximalno Aqualung Tonic Turtles Blur Sufjan Stevens Adam green Oasis Imogine heep Jive Eles dios malos doves ellen ten dammme Dido Nelly furtado Negativ Juli sentenced iced earth nirvana placebo anathema lost prophets evanescence on thorns i lay lacuna coil guano apes alanis morisette papa roach(lovehatetragedy-u znak dobrih starih vremena:-)) van gogh i et...to e to trenutno... TRENUTNO CITAM 11 Minuta - citam... Choices - Nancy Toder - procitano Wien um 1900-procitano Oliver twist-na citanju Demijan—precitavam po ko zna koji put Tajna veza-procitana Zamka za snove-S.King=procitano Ponornica-S.Kulenovic-procitan kabinet cudesa-procitano linearni grad-nikako da dovrsim a nema ni 100 strana radije uzmi moga brata(njem.)-procitano citadela-cronin- procitano misterije svijeta-davno predjeno g.g.marquez-ljubav u doba kolere-nikad procitala et...tolko za sad... ...Sweet child in time you'll see the line The line that's drawn between the good and the bad See the BLIND man shooting at the world Bullets flying taking toll If you've been bad, Lord I bet you have And you've not been hit by flying lead You'd better close your eyes and bow your head And wait for the ricochet... evo mojih dosadasnjih googlizama...tj.kako me ljudi nadjose na googlu... -ocu ajvar za cevape(???) -bol u ledjima kod djece -nazif gljiva.mp3(e ovaj mi je najkrvaviji bez sumnje) -Lyrics-sheeter feat.amy lee -blog sam uradila -pjesma za spavanje -jajacki izbori -dnevnik jedne teenager-ke -hand made nakit -pearl jam-voice for change -lektire za malu raju -bajke -srebrenicani slike(obratiti se gdniu Amoru Masovicu,a ne meni...) Guns'n'Roses-Don't Cry If we could see tomorrow What of your plans No one can live in sorrow Ask all your friends Times that you took in stride They're back in demand I was the one who's washing Blood off your hands Don't you cry tonight I still love you baby Don't you cry tonight Don't you cry tonight There's a heaven above you baby And don't you cry tonight I know the things you wanted They're not what you have With all the people talkin' It's drivin' you mad If I was standin' by you How would you feel Knowing your love's decided And all love is real An don't you cry tonight Don't you cry tonight Don't you cry tonight There's a heaven above you baby And don't you cry tonight I thought I could live in your world As years all went by With all the voices I've heard Something has died And when you're in need of someone My heart won't deny you So many seem so lonely With no one left to cry to baby An don't you cry tonight An don't you cry tonight An don't you cry tonight There's a heaven above you baby And don't you cry Don't you ever cry Don't you cry tonight Baby maybe someday Don't you cry Don't you ever cry Don't you cry Tonight Cold Heritage-Lacuna Coil Don't tell me why I'm so near to commit a crime When I stay alone here in front of you (I'm here) Illusion falls when you're not honest about the way I feel I know I need only your voice Saving all my words only for you Forgive me Saving all my words only for you I don't know why There's a limit to defy With the vision of the future at my feet (I'm here) The night embrace me while The picture simply blows me away I feel I'll need only your voice And I'm lonely here inside of me Deep inside of me Believe the light in me And I'm lonely here inside of me Deep inside of me Reveal the light in me Saving all my words only for you Forgive me And I'm lonely here inside of me Deep inside of me Believe the light in me And I'm lonely here inside of me Deep inside of me I've never, never felt myself this way before And I want to leave with my tears If you'll disappear Believe in the light in me Saving all my words only for you Forgive me Falling on me knees only for you Forgive me Bosnia-the Crannberries I would like to state my vision Life was so unfair We live in our secure surroundings And people die out there Bosnia, was so unkind Sarejevo, change my mind And we all call out in despair All the love we need isn't there And we all sing songs in our room Sarejevo erects another tomb Sarejevo! Sarejevo! Sarejevo! Sarejevo! Bosnia, was so unkind Sarejevo! Sarejevo! Sarejevo! Bosnia, was so unkind Sure, things would change If we really wanted them to No fear for children anymore There are babies in their beds Terror in their heads For the love of life! When do the saints go marching in? When do the saints go marching in? When do the saints go marching in? When do the saints go marching in? Rummmpatipum, Rummmpatipum... Traboo, Traboo, Traboo... Watching Over Me-Iced Earth I had a friend many years ago One tragic night he died The saddest time of my life For weeks and weeks I cried Through the anger and through the tears I've felt his spirit through the years I'd swear, He's watching me Guiding me through hard times (chorus) I feel it once again It's overwhelming me His spirit's like the wind The angel guarding me Oh, I know, oh, I know He's watching over me Oh, I know, oh, I know He's watching over me We shared dreams like all best friends Blood brothers at the age of ten We lived reckless, he paid the price But why? Why did he have to die? It still hurts me to this day Am I selfish for feeling this way? I know he's an angel now Together we'll be someday I feel it once again It's overwhelming me His spirit's like the wind The angel guarding me Oh, I know, oh, I know He's watching over me Oh, I know, oh, I know He's watching over Shinead O'Connor-Nothing Compares To You It's been seven hours and fifteen days since you took your love away I go out every night and sleep all day since you took your love away since you've been gone I can do whatever I want I can see whomever I choose I can eat my dinner in a fancy restaurant but nothing I said nothing can take away these blues, 'cause nothing compares nothing compares to you It's been so lonely without you here like a bird without a song nothing can stop these lonely tears from falling tell me baby where did I go wrong? I could put my arms round every boy I see but they'd only remind me of you I went to the doctor guess what he told me guess what he told me he said girl you better try to have fun no matter what you do but he's a fool 'cause nothing compares nothing compares to you All the flowers that you planted momma in the backyard all died when you went away I know that living with you, baby, was sometimes hard but I'm willing to give it another try nothing compares Vader-Whisper Jaunting on maps of our bodies We wandering through vastness of inner and outer space Through and through Immersed in love of will. I am laying on my back And gazing at inky black sky Serpent shapes Moves of your hands The mind is burning Drowned in carnal desires Inflowing pictures Visions of dead world Fancy visions of dead world Gives me shiver when You caresses my body Emptiness beyond We are alone on this earth And all treasures of the world Belong to us The sacrilege of love And sacrificial love Weals are wandering on your skin You are wielding my sword This is the greatest gift We received from mother Earth So let's play this game Bodies surrounded by fire And envy of stars Stimulation of every part Of mind, body and soul Our never-ending ritual Will always go on Like war never ends Like fall always comes Like stars are shining On nightly sky Our love of will Will go on To eternal death Of the human world.
painkillers cooperated
Imaginary-Evanescence i linger in the doorway of alarm clock screaming monsters calling my name let me stay where the wind will whisper to me where the raindrops as they're falling tell a story in my field of paper flowers and candy clouds of lullaby i lie inside myself for hours and watch my purple sky fly over me don't say i'm out of touch with this rampant chaos - your reality i know well what lies beyond my sleeping refuge the nightmare i built my own world to escape in my field of paper flowers and candy clouds of lullaby i lie inside myself for hours and watch my purple sky fly over me swallowed up in the sound of my screaming cannot cease for the fear of silent nights oh how i long for the deep sleep dreaming the goddess of imaginary light dreaming my dreams-the Crannberries All the things you said to me today Changed my perspective in every way These things count to mean so much to me Into my faith you and your baby It's out there 3x If you want me I'll be here It's out there 3x If you want me I'll be here I'll be dreaming my dreams with you And there's no other place That I'd lay down my face I'll be dreaming my dreams with you It's out there 3x If you want me I'll be here 2X I'll be dreaming my dreams with you And there's no other place That I'd lay down my face I'll be dreaming my dreams with you oceans-On Thorns I Lay In the magic mirror of my soul, I stare at the person that I love, It's the magical carpet on which, I travel on the erebus, In the land of fairy tales So I close my eyes again Feeling so lonely in the rain The mother of sunrise gives hope She can fly me over green fields And... The great oceans away from Days of hatred and despair... I saw immortal roses And a gold field with giant trees That shined immensely... I saw ancient walls and palaces everywhere... Amidst ancient gardens and magical trees... So I close my eyes again... Whit Bitterness and Joy-Sentenced It has now spread itself all over inside me all the way to the brain and down to my knees My time comes closer with each day it lets me see - with each night the pain keeps me from sleep Life has given me much - maybe taken more but those good times were always worth waiting for When it's time for goodbyes I will leave grieving and yet so relieved with bitterness and joy Pleasure and pain; Heaven and Hell - my memories What a long and strange trip this has been for me What a short and strange life this has been It has given me much - maybe taken more but those good times were always worth waiting for When it's time to take leave of this world I will leave with bitterness and joy What a long and strange trip this has been for me What a short and strange life this has been It has given me much - maybe taken more but those good times were always worth waiting for When it's time for goodbyes I will leave grieving and yet so relieved with bitterness and joy Life has given me much - maybe taken more but those good times were always worth waiting for When it's time to take leave of this world I will leave with bitterness and joy Nothing Else Matters-Metallica So close no matter how far couldn't be much more from the heart forever trusting who we are and nothing else matters never opened myself this way life is ours, we live it our way all these words I don't just say and nothing else matters yea, trust I seek and I find in you every day for us something new open mind for a different view and nothing else matters never cared for what they do never cared for what they know and I know so close no matter how far couldn't be much more from the heart forever trusting who we are and nothing else matters never cared for what they do never cared for what they know and I know never opened myself this way life is ours, we live it our way all these words I don't just say trust I seek and I find in you every day for us something new open mind for a different view and nothing else matters never cared for things they say never cared for games they play I never cared for what they do I never cared for what they know and I know yea, yea, yea so close no matter how far couldn't be much more from the heart forever trusting who we are no nothing else matters Skid Row-Slave To The Grind You got me forced to crack my lids in two I'm still stuck inside the rubber room I gotta punch the clock that leads the blind I'm just another gear in the assembly line-oh no The noose gets tighter around my throat But I ain't at the end of my rope CHORUS 'Cause I won't be the one left behind Can't be king of the world If you're slave to the grind Tear down the rat racial slime Can't be king of the world if you're slave to the grind. Get it? A routine injection, a lethal dose But my day in the sun ain't even close There's no need to waste your prayers on me You better mark my words 'cause I'm history. Yes indeed You might beg for mercy to get by But I'd rather tear this thorn from my side CHORUS They swallowed their daggers by turning their trick They tore my intentions apart brick by brick I'm sick of the jive You talk verbal insecticide CHORUS I said slave to the grind Slave to the grind Slave to the grind |
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