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I went to Anahuac National Wildlife Refuge yesterday and got the scare of my life! I saw this big boy near the edge of the waterway, parked, and got out of the car to get a closer shot. I guess I've become kind of comfortable with them since I see them so often. So I glanced around for snakes as I walked through the wet grass, approached the little wooden bench thing in front of him, and fired off a shot. I then thought, let me try to get a closeup of his face. I felt brave. They rarely move, he was a good 3 feet away, and there was a 2 foot tall barrier between us, plus I had my monopod so theoretically I could bash him in the eyeballs if I had too. So I got down on one knee and pressed the shutter button. This is when I learned a good lesson - never get down on eye level with an alligator. Duh right?

I don't know if I looked like easy prey, or if he was irritated by my presence, but whatever the reason, he quickly stood up and took a couple steps out of the water and up on shore. He was coming right for me and he was so big! His body was twice the width of his face. The last thing I remember seeing in the camera were teeth.

My thought was, get back to the car you dummy! So I turned and tried to stand, but I couldn't. You know how they say you get Herculean strength in times of emergency? Well, not necessarily. I did the opposite... a full on face plant! I didn't simply fall. I collapsed from fright.

My knees were the first to go, then my forearms, even my wrists and my even neck! I did a complete belly flop into the mud and smooshed my face right into the handle of the monopod and camera. Ouch!

I was laying there for what seemed like forever. I was pushing so hard against the ground to get up but I couldn't move. I kept thinking he's 2 feet behind me and he can run around that barrier! Quite a few four letter words spewed forth and I think I must have said OMG 100 times. I was pushing with every ounce of strength I could muster up but was hardly moving. Finally I crawled on my hands and knees a bit so I could stand and wobble the rest of the way to the car. I was panting, shaking uncontrollably, grass and mud covered, and the camera was a mess but thank goodness not broken. When I looked back at him he hadn't even moved. I got into the sanctuary of my car, backed the heck out of that place, drove a few feet, then called my husband. I was shaking for a half hour.

I feel like I've been in a car wreck. My whole body hurts. I have some bruises, scrapes, and my left shoulder is killing me, but nothing Tylenol and a few days can't fix. I just feel stupid on multiple levels.

Thank goodness I have a pretty great photo to show for it though LOL :)

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I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again: You are a caveman. No, seriously, you’re a fucking caveman.

In the greater picture that is. Time will continue to move forward. We will start to discover new places. We’ll eventually expand our knowledge of all the way towards the edges of the farthest imaginable bounds of the cosmos. And we’ll look back to this period on Earth and go:

Caveman.

So what about things like iPhones, heart transplants, cars, and that new really cool pill you bought that makes you lose 10 lbs in 10 days. Cavemen didn’t use those, right?

Don’t you fucking listen? I’ll say it one more time:

They did use those things. Because YOU are a caveman.

I’ll prove it to you. Take an average roll of toilet paper and sprawl it out on the sidewalk from beginning to end. It will roll out about to the size of half a football field. Most rolls have about 500 squares. Each square would equate to about 10 million years if we all agree the earth is about 5 billion years old.

Homo sapiens don’t make any appearance on this timeline till the very sliver of the very last square (about 1mm)!

So if you’re God and your at your library which contains the history of every planet in the univerise, what makes you Joe Blow Reader any different than a caveman? If the textbook were 500 pages long, our entire existence of recorded history which is about 10,000 years ago wouldn't even equate to 1 letter of 1 word on 1 page. We wouldn’t even get mentioned.

And that is just Earth. Think about every other planet, solar system, and galaxy. Our brains cannot comprehend how truly far away these places are. The numbers are entirely too large to visualize without using toilet paper analogies.

So when the grim reaper comes knockin' at my door, what will be the fucking point man?

What did I do?
Who did I better?
How did I make this a better place for everyone else?
How will I be remembered?

If our time here is so small, what is the point? Does anyone know? What exactly are you hoping to accomplish? Do you even know? Do you think about this or even care at all?

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