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Preporučam slijedeće cure:

• Sanja(45)
• DanielaLand

• Mistress Ninella
• Malena BDSM

• Joanna Jethr

• Plava Mala
• Mala plava M.P.


i mog velikog i dragog prijatelja

Slaven











Kako pravilno koristiti
sexy toys?


Also daklem, seksi igračke ili pravilnije seksualne igračke, danas se već mogu gotovo nabaviti i u drogerijama. U ovom slučaju mislim na vibrirajući prsten kojega nudi proizvođač prezervativa, po cijeni od pedesetak kuna. Ovaj proizvod je jednokratan (nemože se mijenjati baterija) a ima i vrlo nezgodan prekidač za vibrator, tako da ga osobno ne preporučam! Bolje je u pravom S-shopu nabaviti kvalitetan prsten (cijena je oko 90 kuna) koji će izdržati veće napore i kojemu se baterija mijenja.

JAPANSKE KUGLICE - proizvod koji datira još iz srednjevjekovnog japana (zato se tako i zove), gdje se proizvodio isključivo od plemenitih metala, danas se nudi u raznim izvedbama, a dominiraju plastične kuglice. Vjerujući da znate o čemu govorim, moram upozoriti na jedno. Poput svih drugih pomagala, koja se umeću u vaginu, tako se i ova napravica prije uporabe mora savršeno dezinficirati. Naravno, u slučaju plastičnih ili gumenih kuglica, to nije moguće. Zato preporučam staklene ili metalne kuglice, koje treba prokuhati da bi se dezinficirale. Ako se radi o staklenima, prokuhati se mogu samo one bez umetnute žive ili metalne kuglice, jer u protivnom, doživjeti ćete eksploziju u kuhinji ...

VIBRATOR, DILDO - falusoidni proizvodi koji tek iznimno dolaze u staklenoj ili metalnoj verziji (a ti su i podosta skuplji), danas su vrlo popularni. Koriste ih cure i dečki već u nižim razredima srednje škole. No, i za njih vrijedi isto pravilo: ako se koriste za vaginalni seks, obavezno im navucite prezervativ, kako bi izbjegli mogućnost unošenja patogenih mikroba u vaše (cijenjene i s moje strane toliko voljene) pičkice. Ovo nije šala, jer malo pročitajte o temama poput HPV, CIN, PAPA TEST (na internetu) pa ćete brzo shvatiti koliku težinu i vrijednost ima ovo upozorenje.

Ostala pomagala koja se koriste izvana ili analno, ne podliježu posebnim upozorenjima!

Eh, da sjetih se još nečega. Sramežljivi će se teško odlučiti ući u S-shop (Sex-Shop, za one koji do sada nisu razumjeli), pa će se koristiti priručnim predmetima (svijeće, boce, ... gdje li je samo granica ljudske mašte?!). Pažljivo s time. Ako koristite boce, one obavezno moraju biti pune tekućine, jer fizika je neumoljiva. Lako se može dogoditi da se u boci stvori podtlak, te ako vam se grlić boce u tom stanju susretne s grlićem maternice, nećete biti sretni. U ekstremnim slučajevima na scenu stupa kirurgija!!!!! U svakom slučaju, i na ove alternativne sprave navucite kondom. Kupite XXL veličinu, jer ta gotovo sigurno neće puknuti ako se navuče na manju boćicu!




Par savjeta
za muškarčine


01. Ona nije "DOBRA TREBA" ili "SJAJNA PIčKA" nego
SKLADNA OSOBA ŽENSKOG SPOLA.

02. Ona nije "LAKA KOKA" ili "VOLI SE JEBATI" nego je
KOMUNIKATIVNA I SPOLNO EKSTROVERTIRANA.

03. Ona nije "GLUPAČA" ili "KOZA" nego je
OMETENA U OBRADI PODATAKA.

04. Ona nije "PRAZNOGLAVA" ili "ŠUPLJAČA" nego je
NESKLONA RAZMIŠLJANJU.

05. Ona nije "PIJANA KO' KRAVA" nego je
ZNATNO KEMIJSKI INTOKSINIRANA.

06. Ona se ne bi "ODMAH RADO POJEBALA" nego ona je
TRENUTČNO SEKSUALNO USREDOTOČENA.

07. Ona nema "SILIKONSKE SISE" nego je
MEDICINSKI ESTETIZIRANA I TJELESNO NADOPUNJENA.

08. Ona nije "KURVETINA" nego je
U CIJELOSTI NESPUTANA I PRISTUPAČNA.

09. Ona nema "SJAJNO DUPE" ili "IZVRSNU GUZICU" nego je
POZADINSKI SUPERIORNA I PRIRODNO PODARENA.

10. Ona nema "BRKOVE" i nije "MUŠKARAČA" nego je u
STALNOM KONTAKTU S MUŠKIM DIJELOM SVOJE PRIROĐENE OSOBNOSTI.

11. Ona ne "KUHA KATASTROFALNE SPLAČINE" nego je
GURMANSKI NEOSVJEŠTENA I MIKROVALNO USMJERENA!


Erotico

ponedjeljak, 25.02.2008.

Pogreške koje si uzajamno činimo

Pronađoh partnericu u Americi i zajedno smo napravili kompilaciju pogrešaka (poput ovih s desne strane bloga). Budući je to objavljeno u jednom Američkom časopisu (Men's Health USA), a vjerujem da svi jako dobro prilčate engleski, donosim Vam sve zajedno neizmijenjeno. Zamislite se malo nad svim tim, pa mi se javite....

Ljubi Vas

Rene











Fifty Mistakes Men Make When Having Sex


Fifty
Mistakes Women Make When Having Sex

1 Going straight for the naughty bits


You've got to be sensitive to the fact that a woman is
more likely to be irritated than aroused when a man dives for her breasts
and vulva after a few minutes' perfunctory kissing. While you might get to
feel the goods, you're not going to be invited back.


 2 Not knowing how to kiss sensitively


Passionate or sensitive, firm or gentle, good kissing
is an art form which lubricates the wheels of sex and gets everyone in the
mood for more intimacy. Learn how to kiss, and do it well. That doesn't mean
sticking your tongue in her mouth and wiggling it around like you're trying
to floss her teeth.


 3 Being too rough when you touch her erogenous zones


Men like a firmer touch than women, especially when it
comes to our penises. So if you touch her clitoris with as much force as you
apply to your penis when you masturbate, she's most likely to howl with pain
- and then kick you out of bed. Remember: the clitoris has twice as many
nerve endings as the penis, in a much smaller area. Treat it with respect.
It's the only organ in the human body that has no function other than to
provide pleasure.


 4 Not stroking and caressing her


A woman's second biggest sex organ is her skin. (The
first is her mind.) You can make your touch on any part of her body into a
sexy caress, but you have to focus on what you're doing and put some sexual
energy into your fingers while you caress her. That means not thinking about
the baseball game while you're giving her a sensuous massage.


 5 Locking onto her nipples like a suckling child


Yes, we know it's fun for you. To her it just feels
like she's got a teething infant hanging off her breast. Lick and kiss
around her whole breast before you go for the nipple, then flick your tongue
gently across the nipple and around the areolae. If she likes what you're
doing, you'll know by her moans of pleasure.


 6 Biting on her earlobe because you think it's sexy


She may not agree with you. In which case it will just
be irritating for her, not a prelude to her turning into the sex goddess you
thought you were summoning up.


 7 Leaving a hickey on her neck like a teenage badge of
honor


If you're over sixteen, this is a no-no. If you need to
know why, you're obviously under sixteen.


 8 Not shaving before sex


When you're in the throes of passion, having your beard
stubble brushing back and forth across her face isn't so sexy, but at least
it'll produce a red rash she can remember you by.


 9 Not washing your pits and bits before you have sex


If there's one thing that turns women off, it's a lover
whose personal hygiene isn't up to scratch. Even though men have a higher
smell threshold than women, keeping yourself clean - especially in the more
intimate corners of your anatomy (like under your foreskin) - is not just a
matter of courtesy, it's a ticket back to the bedroom.


 10 Forgetting she has a sensuous body waiting to be
stroked


Pretty much the same point we already made up above,
but worth remembering: touch doesn't just have to be in the bedroom, a
prelude to sex. In fact, if you touch her a lot in a loving way during the
day, she'll be ready to melt into your arms by bedtime.


 11 Trying to get your fingers in her underwear before
she's ready


This is the mark of a gauche teenage lover who wants to
get to fourth base just so he feels more accomplished as a lover. Take your
time, let things evolve naturally, and apply a little sensuous touch on the
fabric covering her vulva before you dive under the elastic. The hint of
what's to come is often more erotic than diving straight in there.


 12 Dropping the condom on the floor


Must we say why this isn't the most popular move post
sex? Dispose of the condom tidily in a tissue - put it in the bin rather
than down the toilet, or it's likely to float there for some time to come as
a reminder of your sexual encounter.


 13 Going straight for the clitoris during oral sex or
masturbation


Like we said above, most women just find this
irritating - and, if you press too hard, bloody uncomfortable too. Your
first caresses should be on her labia, the lips of her vulva, then as she
gets more aroused, you can work nearer the clitoris itself. But even when
she's aroused a soft touch along the sides of her clitoris may be more
acceptable for her than any pressure on the head or her clitoris.


 14 Breaking off just as she's getting to the point
where she wants you to keep going at all costs


Women often get so lost in their sexual arousal that
they forget to give feedback. In reality, the fact that she's lying there
quietly may actually mean she loves what you're doing; if so, you should
feel her pressing her vulva against your mouth or fingers, or shifting like
she wants more touch, rather than giving you a sense that she'd rather be
out shopping.


 15 Undressing her clumsily


Listen up guys: you don't have to be able to take her
bra off with one hand, behind her back, while kissing her. In fact, in my
experience, it's better if you don't try. She probably puts it on by
fastening it first and pulling it over her head anyway. Let her take off the
garments you don't understand, and whenever you do lend a helping hand,
undress her gently and sensuously rather than pulling at her clothes like
you're ripping the paper off a birthday present.


 16 Undressing yourself inelegantly - which includes
taking your socks off after your underwear


Nothing is more comical (or pathetic) to a woman than a
man in his socks and pants. Except possibly a naked man wearing socks. If
you don't understand why, just accept that it is so.


 17 Expecting her to shave for you


You might like the baby smooth look around her vulva,
but she's more likely to see this as a prickly route to itchy stubble. Ask
her nicely if you'd like her to go smooth. If she says "no", accept that
graciously.


 18 Sticking a finger up her vagina before she's ready,
willing and able


In general, women do like to be penetrated just as much
as men like to penetrate, which, considering how much men like to stick
things up there, is just as well. However, she'll only want you to do this
when the time is right - i.e. when she's aroused enough to enjoy it. If
you're giving her clitoris attention, there'll be a point where she might
like to have a finger or two inside her. If so, be gentle, and start with
one finger on her G-spot. Make sure she enjoys this before you put another
one up there. Two fingers on her G-spot is probably as much as she will
want. And be just as firm with your touch as she finds pleasurable. If you
don't know what the G-spot is, then do some Google-ing before you get into
bed.


 19 Entering her without asking her first


What is it with men and these dark, wet places? Just
keep in mind that she decides how far sex goes, and if she doesn't want to
enjoy intercourse then don't press the point. This applies especially to any
strategy that involves nudging your penis into position and then pressing
forward without her consent, verbal or otherwise! Having said that, you
don't always need to ask "May I enter you?" though it can be a romantic and
sexy thing to do if you're looking deep into her eyes. Needless to say,
that's most likely to happen in the man on top position, which, by the way,
remains everyone's most popular position for sex.


 20 Pecking away around her vagina with your penis if
you can't find the way in


This is, by all accounts, many women's least desired
sexual moment. If for any reason you can't get in, don't pretend you're in
control and keep trying. Simply ask her to guide you in with her hand. That
way you'll save a lot of embarrassment, not to mention time.


 20 Pumping away without regard for her pleasure


When you've achieved your most desired objective, and
your penis is inside her, you'll want to show a certain consideration for
her pleasure. She may want hard and fast thrusting, but it's best to start
slow and shallow. While you're making love, she'll most appreciate your
efforts if you're masculine and strong - which is to say, if you act like
you know what you're doing, you're considerate and gentle at first, and work
up to firm and strong thrusts if she likes them.


 21 Expecting her to make love bottom up


Yes, we all enjoy rear entry. But she may be more
self-conscious of her butt, she may feel like a sex object, and she may not
like the rather impersonal nature of this position. If you really want to do
it, and you explain to her why you like it so much (i.e. "It's incredibly
exciting to see your gorgeous bottom as we make love", rather than "I get so
turned on fucking from behind") she'll probably co-operate from time to
time, even if it's only on your birthday and hers.


 22 Thrusting too hard


If you happen to be well-endowed, or she has a short
vagina, and you thrust too hard, you may end up banging her cervix. This can
make her shriek, though sadly not with sexual pleasure.


 22 Coming before she's got excited or begun to enjoy
sex


There aren't many men who can last long enough to
really satisfy a woman who enjoys vaginal intercourse and G-spot
stimulation. If you can't be bothered learning how to be a long lasting
lover, then at least have the decency to keep going for a few minutes so she
gets some pleasure. This isn't hard, and there are plenty of ways you can
learn to extend intercourse and not come so quickly. Do some research on
Google for "end premature ejaculation". See also number 26.


 23 Not coming at all - or losing your erection when
you put the condom on


If you're one of that rarer breed of men who has
trouble coming during intercourse, may we respectfully suggest you see a
sexual therapist? You can then deal with this problem, learn to come more
quickly, and avoid giving her a numb vagina and an intimate knowledge of the
exact shade of color you painted your bedroom ceiling. If you're one of the
many men who lose their erection when the condom comes out of its foil
wrapper and onto the head of your penis, it's back to Google for a search
on, surprisingly enough, "losing erection when putting on a condom".


 24 Asking her how it was for her


This is not the mark of a confident lover, so if you
really want some feedback, phrase it thus: "Did you prefer it when I did X
or Y?"


 25 Not going down on her when she wants oral pleasure


Since oral sex on a woman is so pleasurable for most
men, this seems unlikely. But if it's a question of the smell or taste being
a bit much for you, try taking a shower or bath together before sex. If you
just want her to fellate you and you simply can't be bothered to reciprocate
with cunnilingus, then reading these tips isn't going to help you much
anyway.


 26 Failing to give her pleasure if you come quickly


Remember the motto: "Women come first!" As a man,
you're probably going to lose interest in sex once you've ejaculated - at
least for a while. In which case, make sure she comes through oral sex or
masturbation before you enter her. That way, she gets her pleasure and so do
you. (With the added bonus that it doesn't matter so much if you shoot quite
quickly.) Just to enter her, thrust a few times, come, roll over and forget
about her is the mark of a boorish lover, and you wouldn't want to be one of
those, now would you?


 27 Trying to force her head towards your cock


Let's face it: she's either willing to give your oral
sex or she's not. Trying to persuade her to get her lips around your glans
by edging her head towards your groin is a bit crass, to say the least. If
she doesn't seem to be heading that way as things hot up, just ask her:
"There's something you could do that'd give me so much pleasure....."


 28 Trying to force her head further down on her cock
when she's giving you oral


Yes, once again we know it feels good, but you have to
be considerate about it. She's not likely to be a deep throat expert, and
there's no reason why she should be, since most of the pleasure of oral sex
comes from the action of her tongue on your glans. Keep your hands away from
her head unless it's to gently stroke her hair, and you won't feel the
temptation to encourage her to go deeper.


 29 Holding her head when she goes down on you


Pretty similar to number 28, but this time, holding her
head and moving it up and down on your penis is the no-no. If you think
that's acceptable sexual etiquette you've been watching too many of the
wrong kind of films.


 30 Coming in her mouth without asking her if it's OK


The taste of semen is very much an acquired taste;
unfortunately it's one that few woman ever acquire. If she doesn't like it,
ask her to keep going until the last minute, then tell her when you're going
to come so she can move back and finish the job with a well-lubed hand.
You'll get just as much pleasure, and she won't have to gag or spit your
semen out. By the way, accidentally forgetting to tell her you're going to
come is not permitted.


 31 Thinking that a porno movie has anything to do with
real life


Porn is not good for men's egos. Real life isn't like
that, OK?


 32 Switching on a hard core porn film without asking
whether that's OK with her


Even if you find it arousing, she's not likely to, for
the simple reason that much of the porn available today is fairly abusive to
women. Ask her first, and if you want to share the erotic thrill of watching
people have sex, get hold of some romantic sex movies that will appeal to
her emotions as well as her sex drive.


 33 Apologizing for the size of your penis


Just in case you ever feel inclined to apologize for
not matching up to the guys in the wrong kind of movies, just remember: 98%
of women would rather have a sensitive lover than one with a big penis. If
you're with one of the other two percent, you need to find a new lover.


 34 Answering honestly when she asks you what your last
lover was like


Guys, when a woman asks you if her butt is too big, do
you tell her the truth? Enough said. Your current lover is always the most
gorgeous, sexy and desirable woman around. Even if she doesn't really
believe it, that's what she wants to hear.


 35 Asking her if she'd mind if her girlfriend joined
you


Threesomes can be exciting, but they usually just cause
jealousy and upset when one partner unexpectedly finds they don't want their
partner making out with another person. Needless to say, this usually
happens to the woman. So be sure, be very sure, you know what you're doing
before you try this one.


 36 Making her do all the work


Changing positions is all very well, but asking her to
ride you each time you have sex seems a bit one sided. Vary the positions,
have fun, and take equal shares of the work. Don't just settle for one
favorite position and flog it to death.


 37 Trying to slip it in the back door by "accident"


Anal sex is something that a lot fewer couples have
tried than you'd believe from what you read on the internet or see in porn.
It's something you might like to try, but you both have to want to do it.
She's not likely to respond with warmth if you keep pretending you're poking
her anus by accident. And she won't believe you if you tell her you just
didn't want to ask for directions, even if that's how you are when you're
driving around lost, looking for somewhere.


 38 Photographing or videoing your lovemaking


Unfortunately, as many jilted lovers can testify,
taking pictures while you enjoy sex is putting power in the hands of the
person who has the pictures. A good compromise is to link your video camera
direct to your TV without recording the images. That way you can have the
erotic thrill of seeing yourself during sex without having to worry about
seeing yourself having sex on the internet in a few years' time.


 39 Getting into the same old same old routine every
time you have sex


Above almost everything else (except possibly being
deeply in love), ringing the changes when you make love is the thing that
will keep your sex life fresh and passionate. You'll be surprised just how
exciting it can be when you try a new position. This is simply because every
position puts a different pressure on the penis and vagina, or gives you a
new perspective of your partner's body, or perhaps allows you to see
entering your partner's body, and so on. Exactly which sex position feels
most pleasurable will depend on the shape and size and shape of your penis
and her vagina.


 40 Not romancing her


Women love romance. Men put up with it, or do it to get
sex. True or false? Probably true, but the romantic "chase" is deeply
rewarding for most men (i.e. seducing and winning a woman makes us feel
deeply fulfilled), and romance is an essential part of that process. If
you're able to continue being romantic once you're an established couple,
then you set yourself head and shoulders above the rest of your fellow men,
and you stand that much greater chance of getting regular, passionate sex.


 41 Slapping her buttocks without checking if she's
into a little dominance play


No mater how exciting you may find the idea, don't land
a heavy slap on her butt without trying a few lighter ones first and seeing
how she reacts. If you do, you may get a slap in the face. Or a kick in the
balls.


 42 Trying to do sex by the book (or the film)


Don't copy the moves you see in porn films. They lack a
certain something. Consideration for the woman, that would be.


 43 Playing with her anus before she's excited enough
to appreciate it


When you're masturbating her clitoris, and you have a
finger inside her vagina, you may find that she responds well to a little
anal play. If you have the position right, you can use your little finger to
tickle gently at her anus as your forefinger plays with her G-spot. This may
well add to her excitement - especially if she's on the verge of orgasm. If
you try this before she's really excited and has stopped caring what's
happening to her, you might just turn her off completely, so it might not be
a bad idea to check it out with her in advance.


 44 Deafening her by shouting in her ear when you come


An easy mistake to make, especially if you like to have
sex in the man on top position lying close to your partner, and you like to
let the world know when you come. Unfortunately she won't let you do it a
second time, so bury your face in the pillow or something if you're prone to
uncontrollable vocal ejaculations as well as physical ones.


 45 Talking dirty without checking if she likes it


Generally a little consensual dirty talk between adults
adds to the excitement. The first time your partner tells you to f*** her
hot wet c*** you'll see what I mean. If that hasn't happened yet, and you'd
like it to, encourage her to talk dirty to you when you're making love, and
see what pops out of her mouth. You might be surprised. Remember legend has
it that the quiet ones are often the most surprising in bed!


 46 Lying on top of her without supporting your weight
on your arms


Always remember: a gentleman takes his weight on his
arms. Or elbows, or knees, or something.


 47 Ejaculating on her without asking permission


Coming between her breasts or on her vulva or bottom
can be incredibly exciting, but it's nice to ask her first. She may see it
less a mark of your ejaculatory prowess or manhood than a mess to clear up.


 48 Not controlling your ejaculation


Like we said before, a good lover makes the effort to
make sure his partner is satisfied before he is.


 49 Not spending some time with her in your arms after
sex


A man who gets up after he's done the business and sets
about his daily routine is probably top of most women's sexual dislikes. For
her, this is a special time when a woman feels very close to her partner.
She takes much longer to come down from sex than a man does, she wants to
know she's loved and special, and she wants to feel adored by the man to
whom she has just given her most precious asset. The very least you can do
is to spend a half hour or so cuddling her while you relax after making
love, even if you're not going to spend the night with her.


 50 Not cleaning up after sex


And since sex inevitably involves a certain amount of
fluids, keep the tissues handy for afterwards. If you feel like being
chivalrous, offer her a warm towel to clean herself, especially if you
aren't using condoms.


 

1. Assuming he can get a
raging hard on when it suits you. Contrary to popular belief, men can't just
flip a switch and get it up because you decided to stop being a frigid
bitch. Getting it hard is your job. I suggest you figure it out.



2. Thinking that kissing needs to be this sweet romantic thing all the time.
Sometimes pressing your lips against your partners mouth while you get off
is the hot. It depends on the situation.



3. Leaving him responsible for your orgasm. You know what gets you off. Tell
him. If you don't, it's your own fault when he's snoozing and you're all
wound up.



4. Expecting him to cuddle. Men and women are wired differently. Sex makes
most women want to talk and bond and all that shit. It makes men pass out.
It's a biological thing. Stop fighting it, and stop holding it over his
head, it's not his fault.



5. Expecting him to fall asleep with you in his arms. That shit is
uncomfortable after awhile. A little snuggling isn't unreasonable, but when
it's time to actually sleep? An arm draped over you should suffice.



6. Expecting him to always lay on the charm and romance. Sometimes, that's
nice. Sometimes. But expecting him to be all roses and candles all the time
is like expecting you to act like a pornstar all the time. If you're not
willing to do that, don't expect him to switch for you.



7. Being selfish in bed. Regardless of the shit that Cosmo forces down our
throats, sex is NOT just about us. Get over it.



8. Using Cosmo as a sex bible. I dont know who comes up with half that shit,
but I'm pretty sure they need counseling.



9. Whining when he pushes your head down on his cock instead of stroking
your hair. Know why he's pushing, skippy? Because you aren't doing it right,
and have apparently ignored the other clues he's given you. Pay attention to
the signals that he's sending you.



10. Not moving at all. Missionary is not an excuse to do nothing.



11. Expecting him to undress himself with any amount of grace. He's about to
get some pussy. Be glad he bothered to take his pants all the way off. If it
concerns you so much, undress him yourself.



12. Not shaving your legs. Im pretty bad at this myself. But if you want
your guy stubble free, you better get out the razor.



13. Allowing your crotch to resemble the amazon. Yes, waxing hurts. Yes,
some people don't want to go bare. Thats fine. If you like bush, great. If
you have sensitive skin and can't shave, I feel for you. But for the love of
Christ, trim that shit if you want him to spend any time down there.



14. Assuming that sex means a relationship. The only relationship you have
is that he has now stuck his hoo hoo dilly in your cha cha. That's as far as
it goes unless otherwise noted.



15. Withholding oral sex just because you're ragging. He didn't do it.
Unless you want him to withhold oral sex because he's hormonal, I suggest
you get some kneepads.



16. Expecting him to figure out what you like by what noise you make. Use
your words. Have you ever actually heard what you sound like while you're
having sex? If you heard yourself on tape, and someone asked you to explain
what was causing you to make that noise, 67% of women would respond with
answers like "I stubbed my toe" "I ran up the steps" or "I was putting up
drywall".



17. Leaving condoms up to him. If you're sexually active and insist that he
uses a condom, I suggest buying a box and keeping it by your bed. Not all
men keep them on them, and it's just as much your responsibility as it is
his. If you think that makes you a slut, you shouldn't be having sex anyway.
Go back to Jr High.



18. Getting your undies in a bunch when he talks dirty. A little fantasy can
be fun. If he treats you with respect all the time, you shouldn't be
offended when he calls you his dirty little slut. When he calls you a whore
and tells you to come, its his way of showing that he cares if you get off.
Stop being a sissy.



19. Refusing to be spontaneous. I know this is shocking, but sometimes sex
OUTSIDE of the bedroom is fun.



20. Dissing quickies because it's not some slow sensual ordeal. Sex is a
dynamic thing. Theres an awesome raw energy when you only have 20 minutes
but having to have someone so bad that you do it half clothed against the
wall. Readjust your thinking.



21. Being too much of a pussy to tell him what is or isn't acceptable before
you start bumping uglies. Be honest. If he asks if he can poke you in the
butt, and you giggle and say no like it's an invitation, don't look
surprised when he "accidentally" sticks his cock in your butt.



22. Expecting him to undress you. I put a bra on almost every day. I know
for a fact that getting them off isn't always easy. Help a brother out.



23. Undressing in the dark. If youre shy, dim the lights, but give the man
something to see. No ripping off the clothes and diving under the covers,
either.



24. Refusing to get on top. Theres no reason men should have to do all the
work.



25. Getting that bored look on your face. Men are more visual than women.
Give him something to look at. Get on top and arch your back a little bit.
Move. Do something to indicate that you 1) are not dead and 2) didn't suffer
a minor stroke rendering you unable to move.



26. Expecting him to do all the touching when you're riding him. It's your
body, you're used to it. Play with your tits, rub your clit, do something to
make his job easier.



27. Being too afraid to guide your partner's hand when hes touching you.
Don't like the way he's doing it? Gently take his hand and show him how you
like it.



28. Getting into bed, getting naked, fooling around and then deciding that
you just want to cuddle, then getting offended when he doesn't. Its your
choice to stop, but don't look all fucking surprised when he's confused. You
got him naked in your bed, what else did you think was going to happen?



29. Refusing to let him take control. So your a feminist. Big fucking deal.
Letting him call the shots doesn't make you any less of one.



30. Refusing to take control. Its ok to crawl across a bed to him on all
fours, push him down and crawl on top. It's not his responsibility to start
things all the time.



31. Forgetting that he has a body that likes to be touched, too. Men have
things like backs and shoulders and stomachs and other parts that are fun to
kiss and touch. You miss a lot of good places by concentrating solely on his
penis.



32. Ignoring his balls. Seriously, they are there. Kiss them, lick them,
suck on them, make a relationship with them, just don't ignore them.



33. Leaving him to his own devices. Nothing is worse than a girl who gets
you most of the way off and then bolts because she doesn't want to deal with
the mess.



34. Launching into some speech about not being an object for sex when he
tries to titty fuck you. Jesus Christ, just push them together and enjoy
yourself. You get a great view.



35. Expecting him to handle you like a porcelain doll. I'd hate to be the
bearer of bad news, but you're not going to break, sister. So doing it
against the wall gives you a bruise on your shoulder. Look at it later and
giggle at the memory.



36. Refusing to try things in the name of "making love". You're not making
anything. You are naked. With another person. Making strange faces and weird
noises. Stop romanticizing it.



37. Taking things way too seriously. Sex is funny. Actually it's hilarious.
Somewhere along the line, someone is going to fall off of a bed, hit their
head on a lighting fixture, accidentally kick a midget or trip over a goat.
It's how you deal with it that really matters.



38. Throwing a bitch fit when he asks for a 3 some. Its the American dream.
(I know my ex is reading this right now, so a quick interjection. One
request for a 3 some is ok. Every 5 minutes, not so much. Know the
difference).



39. Continuing a blow job knowing that you have god awful cotton mouth.
Really. Grab a bottle of water.



40. Nails. Its one thing tracing them up and down your partners back. Its
another when you snag the goods with a claw.



41. Bitching when you get jizz on you. You're having sex. That will happen.
Thats the entire point of sex. Establish where he can and cant jizz and be
done with it. Remember, it tightens the pores.



42. Not making any noises at all. Moan. Scream his name. Something so he
knows he's the best you've had, even if he isn't.



43. Faking orgasms. Just. Don't. By faking (IF he believes you) he thinks
he's doing everything right. And if he doesn't know its not working, he's
not going to change it. Starting a vicious cycle of unfulfilling sex which
will eventually be very damaging to his ego.



44. Not washing before sex. I know that sex is spontaneous, this is more of
a general statement. If you haven't showered that day, and things smell a
little...fishy...perhaps demanding oral sex is a little ridiculous of you.



45. Anything that involves inserting anything into his body that he has not
specifically approved before hand. I don't care what Cosmo says, some things
are simply not pleasant surprises.



46. Refusing to use oils/whipped cream/other messy but fun things because
you have 541510630 count Egyptian cotton sheets that were made by hand by
the only person alive capable of sewing that pattern. They'll wash.



47. Doing all of your before bed things before sex. Yes, sleeping with
makeup on is bad. Now is not the time to remove it, you can do that later.
And really fucking you with your hair in a ratty scrunchie with acne cream
on your nose is not all its cracked up to be.



48. Cleaning up after sex. Wiping the splooge off is one thing. But changing
the sheets immediately so you can get the other ones in the washer and then
sanitizing everything your naked body might have possibly passed by is not
the way to do it.



49. Making a big deal out of it if he loses his hard on. This is not an
interrogation, or 20 questions. It happens, he's probably mortified and you
are NOT helping. Refrain from using phrases like "it happens to every guy".
Just move to other activities until it gets hard again, and if it doesn't,
get off another way with him. He's still capable of getting you off.
Mumbling "Forget it" and rolling over are not ok.



50. Asking questions right afterwards. The woman equivalent of "was it good
for you?". Now is not a good time to ask "What this means". Right now, it
means he probably needs to take a drink, a leak and a nap, perhaps not in
that order.





- 12:11 - Komentari (3) - Isprintaj - #


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--- T U T O R I A L S ---


40 grešaka koje muškarci
čine u seksu sa ženama


01. Ne ljube odmah - Izbjegavanje njezinih usana i uronjavanje u erogene zone daje joj osjećaj da plaćaš po satu i želiš da ti se isplati svaka minuta izbjegavajući nepotrebne akcije. Pravilan strastveni poljubac je ultimativan oblik dobre predigre.

02. Puhati prejako u njezino uho - Priznaj, neki klinac u školi ti je rekao da cure to vole. Ali postoji razlika između biti erotičan i puhati kao da želiš ugasiti sve svjećice na torti svog 50 rođendana. To boli.

03. Ne brijanje - Često zaboravljaš da imaš šiljke zalijepljene za svoju bradu a njome često stružeš po partneričinom licu ili bedrima. Kad ona okrene glavu to nije strast već izbjegavanje.

04. Stiskanje njezinih grudi - Mnogi muškarci se ponašaju kao kućanica koja provjerava paradajz kad stave šaku na grudi. Miluj i njeguj ih s pažnjom.

05. Grizenje njenih bradavica - Zašto se muškarci pričvrste za ženine bradavice, kao da je pokušavaju ispuhati kroz grudi? Bradavice su jako nježne i osjetljive. Ne podnose žvakanje. Liži ih i sisaj nježno. Prelaziti ih jezikom je dobro, pretvarajući ih u igračku za psa nije.

06. Okrećući njezine bradavice - Prestanite vrtjeti bradavice između kažiprsta i palca kao da pokušavate naći radiostanicu u planinskom kraju. Koncentrirajte se na cijele grudi ne samo na istaknute dijelove. Ako ne vjeruješ daj nekom da to tebi učini.

07. Ignoriranje drugih dijelova njezinog tijela - Žena nije autoput s tri odvojka: Sisaselo Lijevo i Sisaselo Desno i Međugradski tunel. Postoje mnogi drugi dijelovi koje zapostavljaš na putu prema Donjogradskoj Vagini. Obrati pažnju i na okolinu.

08. Zaglavljivanje ruke - Loša spretnost ruku u regiji podsuknje može rezultirati u upletanju prstiju u gaće. Ako ćeš već biti toliko agresivan zamoli ju da skine tu prokletu stvar.

09. Ostavljajući joj mali dar - Odlaganje kondoma je muškarčev posao. Ti si ga nosio, ti ga baci u smeće.

10. Napad na klitoris - Direktan pritisak je jako neugodan, stoga nježno rotiraj svoj prst uzduž i poprijeko.

11. Uzeti odmor - Žene, za razliku od muškarca, ne nastavljaju tamo gdje su stale. Ako staneš, vrate se na početak vrlo brzo. Ako primjećuješ da još nije, nastavi pod svaku cijenu, odrvenjela ti usta ili ne.

12. Svlačeći ju nespretno - Žene mrze izgledati glupo, a tako izgleda gola do pasa s pulover zaglavljenim oko vrata i ramena. Odmotaj ju kao elegantan dar, a ne kao dugo iščekivanu dječju igračku.

13. Dati joj "nategača" u predigri - Milovati je kroz gaćice može biti jako ugodno. Nategnuti ih prema gore ili nazad (obično) nije.

14. Opsjednutost vaginom - Iako većina muškaraca može naći klitoris bez autokarte, Još uvijek misle da je vagina najvažnija. Ruka je dole tako brzo kao da pokušavaš sakriti ukradene novce u dimnjak. U osnovi to i nije toliko loše, no ako nemaš obzira može biti bolno, pa se nemoj zanositi. Bolje posveti više pažnje klitorisu i stidnim usnama, a zatim uvuci prst i shvatit ćeš da li joj se sviđa.

15. Prejaka masaža - Pokušavaš ju masirati na jedan senzualan, opuštajući način. Ruke i prsti - OK, laktovi i koljena - NE MOŽE!!!!!!!!!!!

16. Prenaglo svlačenje - Ne forsiraj sa skidanjem ako ona nije dala na znanje da želi to skinuti, čak i sa nekoliko dugmadi.

17. Prvo skinuti hlače - Muškarac najsmješnije izgleda u gaćama i čarapama. Prvo skini čarape.

18. Prebrzo - Kad si već u penis-u-vagini situaciji, najgora stvar za učiniti je pumpati kao industrijska kompresijska pumpa. Ona bi se mogla početi osjećati kao radnik koji je postao tehnološki višak zbog tvoje tehnologije.

19. Prejako - Ako udaraš svojim trokutastim bočnim kostima po njezinim bedrima ili trbuhu bol je jednaka dva tjedna jahanja sabijeno u nekoliko sekundi.

20. Svršiš prerano - Strah svakog muškarca. S razlogom! Ako pucaš prije nego vidiš donji dio njenih bjeloočnica, pobrini se da imaš dodatni plan kako dovesti i nju do kraja.

21. Svršiš prekasno- Nekome može izgledati da je pumpanje sat vremena bez klimaksa znak dobrog seksa, ali njoj je sigurno znak odrvenjele vagine. Barem nabavi dobre tapete da se ima čime interesirati dok glumiš Maratonca.

22. Pitaš ju je li svršila - Trebao bi to znati, većina žena radi buku i vagina se stegne, ali ako ne znaš ne pitaj.

23. Prenježan oralni seks - Nemoj glumiti divovskog mačka sa malim tanjurom s mlijekom, zaroni čitavim ustima i poigravaj se jezikom.

24. Pritišćeš joj glavu u međunožje - Muškarci insistiraju na tome dok nije oči-u-penis nadajući se kako će to brzo dovesti do penis-u-ustima situaciji. Sve žene to mrze. To je otprilike tri koraka do biti odvučena u pećinu za kosu. Ako želiš da koristi usta, koristi i ti svoja. Zavedi ju riječima i probudi joj želju za tim.

25. Ne upozoriš prije klimaksa - Obično, sperma ima okus morske vode pomiješane s bjelanjkom. Ne vole ju svi. Ako već prakticirate oralno, upozori ju kako bi učinila što treba.

26. Mrdanje za vrijeme felacija - Ne guraj. Ona će učiniti sve potrebne kretnje. I ne hvataj ju za glavu. Samo lezi i prepusti se.

27. Savjeti iz pornića - U pornićima izgleda kao da žene vole da se po njima svrši. U stvarnom životu to samo znači više veša za pranje.

28. Natjerati ju da jaše cijelu vječnost - Pitati je da bude gore je u redu. Ležati i gunđati dok ona radi sav posao nije. Pobuđuj je nježno, kako se ne bi osjećala kao kapetan škune. I pusti je da se odmori ako joj treba.

29. Probaš analno i onda se praviš da je slučajno - To je slučaj gdje muškarci dobiju reputaciju kako ne znaju slijediti upute. Ako ga želiš staviti pitaj. I ne misli da je pijanost isprika.

30. Fotografiranje - Kad muškarac kaže: "Mogu li te slikati?" Ona čuje: "Pokazao bih te svojim prijateljima." Barem ju upoznaj s njima prije.

31. Nemaštovitost - Mašta je sve od crtanja uzoraka prstima po njezinim leđima do sipanja meda po njoj i lizanja. Voće, povrće, led i perje može, vruć vosak i trajna nitroboja ne može.

32. Lupati trbuhom u njen trbuh - Ne postoji manje erotičan zvuk, vrlo slično natjecanju u podrigivanju.

33. Postavljajući je u glupe poze - Ako ona želi naprednu jogu u krevetu, može. Ali osim ako nije rumunjska gimnastičarka, ne nadaj se previše. Želiš li partnericu sa pokidanim tetivama? To je kao marioneta bez konaca.

34. Tražiš njenu prostatu - Pročitaj ovo pažljivo. Anal stimulacija može biti ugodna muškarcima jer imaju prostatu. Žene je nemaju. No, ipak, žene imaju "G" točku i ona se može stimulirati analnim seksom, jer pozicija je jako bliska. Ipak, prije svega dogovori se s njom i uskladi termine prema onima koji njoj odgovaraju!

35. Ljubavni ugrizi (hickie) - Jako je erotično blago grizenje i sisanje na strani vrata, ako si pažljiv. Nijedna žena ne želi tjednima nositi odjeću s visokim ovratnicima.

36. Vičući upute - Nemoj vikati što da radi kao trener s megafonom. To baš ne uspaljuje.

37. Pričati prljavo - I ovo je tanki led, jer te ona (ako te već dobro ne pozna) može svrstati u uličare s niskom razinom pristojnosti. Nije sramota pitati, da li ju to uzbuđuje.

38. Ne brineš o njezinom svršavanju - Moraš završiti posao. Pokušavaj dok ne uspiješ i ona bi mogla učiniti i više za tebe. Izreka starog djeda: "Kratko al' slatko!" baš ne vrijedi.

39. Gnječiš ju - Muškarci su uglavnom veći i teži od žena. Ako samo legneš na nju poplavit će. Radije izvježbaj tricepse.

40. Zahvaliti joj - NIKAD ne zahvali ženi za seks. Tvoja ili njezina spavaća soba nije javna kuhinja gdje se dijeli juha. Pretpostavka je da ste u seksu uživali obostrano, stoga će biti dovoljna solidna doza nježnosti (milovanja, nježnog ljubljenja) nakon felacia.