A hypocrite is a person who--but who isn't?
Mediocrity knows nothing higher than itself, but talent instantly recognizes genius.
The car skidded to a stop just in front of me, and I jumped back and lost my balance and ended up on the road.
Misquotations are the only quotations that are never misquoted.
When everyone is against you, it means that you are absolutely wrong-- or absolutely right.
The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.
Jealousy is all the fun you think they had.
I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.
Go through your phone book, call people and ask them to drive you to the airport. The ones who will drive you are your true friends. The rest aren't bad people; they're just acquaintances.