srijeda, 27.06.2007.
TO SOMEONE SPECIAL!
you do speak the truth but it is a long way to that kind of perception.my story is long
and i am tired of writting about it.if you have any kind of chat or skype i will be more than
glad to tell you about but i dont want to wright my book on your blog.belive me i have
more than anoughe material.i have allowed someone to see god in me,she took me high
.i saw my self thru her eyes and then she turned into devil and she changed her point of
view about me for 180°.she has crushed,she killed me,i went mad.but it is all my fault.
i forgot who i realy am.i was week at the time and i have needed her more than the air itself.
when she sow me down she didnt reach out for me andtried to help to get on my feet.
no,she destroyed me.the thing is that i still love her and that way i want have my taste of revenge,
i want taste her blood like she have tasted my flesh.she gave me pain beyond pain.
even death cant save you from all that pain and the flames of hell cant swallow you.
you are just burning alive.when you reach that last level and you dont go totally mad
or you dont make suicide.mad i was.i forgot who am i.i lost emotional kompas,
i was in small bloody pieces all over the deep darkness and silence that was even deeper.
i lost myself,i lost my chi,my energy within the synergie.lost my spirit,lost my soul.
i was dead from within.suicide?how can you kill something that is allready dead.
you cant burn the ashes.it took me two years to come back from that kind of state of mind.
i have learned things,new things.things i shuld have known before.with awerness,
knoweledge and some of my dear,real friends i came back.
now i am about at90%of me but i feel my energy flowing thru my body again.
i feel alive.more than that.that she didnt had hurt so bad i would not know many things.
about myself,about others,about hate and about love.it was an expensive school
but i think i have pasted with flying colours.if someone is insulting you he is just reflecting
his on defects,if someone gives you complinets he will put the knife in your back
.if someone is atacking you that means that he is scared of you.why?
there could be plenty of reasons.you are smarter,stronger,betterlooking or becoause you
are a jus better person than him or her.sometimes a looser is a winner and vice versa.
emotional or phisical pain just makes you stronger.if you hold your emotional shields up
all the time you will miss true love.it is better to feel a little bit of hurt now and then than to
miss an emotion that is stronger than life and death.pure energie.even death is small price
to pay to feel that kind of emotion.love is a too small word,not strong anoughe for the
emotion i have felted.when two souls are in one they can shake not earth but universe.
stars,planets and galaxyes.we are all made from the same material.dont close your self
and dont build any walls when the right person comes she will know how to reach and
how to pass those walls of steel.with love...
