Dan poslije Beltanea

If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him ... is he still wrong?

ZEN MUSINGS

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Leave me the hell alone.

---> lol

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.

--> isto

3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

4. Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any.

--> e, al fakat

5. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
--> -_-

6. No one is listening until you make a mistake.
--> da :-(

7. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.

--> *sigh*

8. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

9. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

--> za "optimistične" ljude poput mene

10. It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.

11. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
--> -_- ah...još se dugo toga ne moram bojati :-P

12. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
--> tako nešto je zapravo meni palo na pamet -_-

13. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
--> hmm...daa
14. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat & drink beer all day.
--> zasto me to podsječa na Homera S., ha? ;-)

15. If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

16. Don't squat with your spurs on.

17. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

18. If you drink, don't park; accidents cause people.
---> looool

19. Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield.
--> -_- maštovitost ljudi je rijetka stvar bez granica

20. Don't worry, it only seems kinky the first time.
--> khm...

21. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

22. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

23. Timing has an awful lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

24. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

25. Duct tape is like The Force. It has a light side & a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
--> *nod, nod*

26. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
--> hehe *nod, nod*

27. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your mouth is moving.

28. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

29. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

30. We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.
--> :-( Yeah

Rules and Queries

1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
--> iju
2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
5. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
--> hmm...-_-
6. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
7. Could it be that all those trick or treaters wearing sheets aren't going as ghosts but as mattresses?
8. If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him ... is he still wrong?
9. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
--> da...ljudska maštovitost...
10. Is there another word for synonym?
11. Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice?"
---> i onak i ovak im ne vjerujem..al da, o tome nisam još razmišljala
12. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"
13. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
14. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
15. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
--> ...
16. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
17. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
18. Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
19. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
20. Why do they put Braille on the drive through bank machines?
21. How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
22. Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
-->...
23. What was the best thing before sliced bread?
24. One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.
25. To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated, but not be able to say it.
26. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
27. The older you get, the better you realize you were.
28. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
29. Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.
30. Women like silent men; they think they're listening.
31. Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
32. Do pediatricians play miniature golf on Wednesdays?
33. Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
34. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
35. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
36. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
37. If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
38. If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?
39. If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry?
--> hmmm?
40. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
-->-_-