ANTIQUE REPRODUCTION TABLES

0216hrs, 24th Nov 2009. Kiev, Ukraine
Strip Bar, Hotel Ukraine.

This is the only fucking strip club wifi zone in the hotel. What hotel doesn't have a restaurant, doesn't do laundry, doesn't have a taxi service but has a fucking strip bar??? Well, just for your record, it's "Hotel Ukraine" in Kiev, Ukraine. Standing at the most pristine location in the city. Bang behind the "independence monument" in the capital of Ukraine. Where you would expect the most posh hotel in the city. Just for your information.

I'm not that much of a geek to be sitting in a strip bar, surfing the internet and write this while a baby spice gives a lapdance on the table right infront of mine. But I do really need to finish this presentation for my talk in the University tomorrow. I really wish I had my camera to take some pictures right now. Then again, my SLR wouldn't really be able to go into a stealth mode here. Also, with almost a dozen strippers walking around me right now - they're probably feeling insulted enough that I'm staring at the screen of my laptop rather than sweet talking one of them. Or even looking at the dance floor for that matter.

Let me say this as well - they are quite hot. Except maybe for baby spice or that blonde - I wish her wig doesn't come off with her dress. That would definitely make things ... well ... weird.

I like the bartender though. Maybe because she's the only Ukranian girl I've been able to talk to so far. English isn't that popular here. I haven't tried Hindi or Punjabi so far - just going by my common sense. If anyone understood either of the latter, that would really fucking blow my brains out. This city hasn't left much sanity in me after the last two nights. Fur coats, red hair, stilettos and snow everywhere. A very very dangerous combination if you ask me. I'm scared of a chest puncture coming my way. I shouldn't forget to mention the pig ear supper from last night or even the awesome traditional restaurant from the night before where I had dinner - where showing off cleavage was a part of the uniform. The nurse behind the bar didn't fit in though. Don't think she looked particularly ethnic.

(Fuck! How did she get all the way up that pole ??)

For those interested in the touristy information, I went to the monument of caves this morning. The mummies were .. well what do you want me to say ... cute?

I like the part that this city has "taste'. Alright, except for the music playing right now. I didn't know they could strip to REO Speedwagon, and I think I was better off without knowing that. Oh yes, it's been snowing for the last two days. My room has the bestest view of the city you can think of. The window in my room leaks air. You probably won't get a good nights sleep if your room is on the 10th floor in a hotel on a hill with winds blowing snow in every random direction. Just a caveat.

This place closes at 4am they're telling me.

She just said something, "ya za ja ra rrrrra ta la rrrrrra".
I replied "ya ni punu maiyo po ruski". (I don't understand any Russian)
"wher du u leev?"
"Norway, but I'm from India"
( I don't think she got anything of that ... )
"Norway"
"Theez strip bar. U data machine" ?
(I just smile ... )
(She smiles back ... but probably knows no more english to "sell" her proposition .... )

I'll go to my room now. I need to get breakfast before 9am.

G'nite. Sleep tight. Don't let the bed bugs bite.

*Next morning, the strip club had converted back to a cafe. While waiting for our taxi with our luggage, we thought we'd have some coffee. The strippers came back for a "sunday practice". I had to take a shot. You can see the computer screens ...

Mouse Girl was having a hard time seeing what was happening to the balloons as they floated up and away from the screen so she figured if she tilted the screen closer she could see where they went.

Yeah, that so didn't work.