I’m sure we all have had our fare share of “lessons learned”. Sometimes these lessons may seem to come out of nowhere as if we only realized by sure chance “it” was something worth taking note of to not make the same mistake twice. Other lessons, though, are learned the hard way - through regret, sorrow and guilt. As I live my life I try really hard to take notice of these latter lessons in an attempt to avoid bad feelings. I’m not always successful, unfortunately, as I’m sure some of you can relate to first hand. And it is not the “bad” feelings that is ultimately feared, but the fact that I should have known better because it was or wasn’t the correct thing to do. These “bad” feelings are just a symptom of the lesson we had to learn the hard way.

When I left for Kuwait I was putting down three bottles of rum a week, every week, for about six years strait. I was 20 pounds overweight and in the worst shape of my life. I truly didn’t realize the problem I had until I couldn’t drink. If you don’t know, Kuwait is a dry country. Meaning there is no legal alcohol available. I arrived at a bad time – the holidays! I attended training during Christmas and New Years which meant that I had three day weekends back to back. I can remember sitting in my room pissed that I didn’t have a drink. All I wanted to do was sit at my desk, edit photos, tell stories and drink from my special glass I plucked from the bottom of the Kwajalein Lagoon in the Republic of the Marshall Islands – a glass I carry with me everywhere as my “lucky” glass! LOL! Yea, sounds kind of stupid, right? Perhaps…

The craving for a drink was so bad at times that I tried to find alcohol out on the economy. I would walk into a business and ask if there was any alcohol I could buy. I was always told no and looked at weird. Whenever I got stressed out, which was regularly, all I could think of was sitting down at my desk and having a drink. My attempt to locate alcohol as a brand-new, greenhorn expat in Kuwait was met with futile attempts. Haha, looking back on it now the poor bastards I asked for alcohol probably thought I was some undercover agent of the state on some sting operation.

Cold turkey! Yep, I sat down one day in my room pissed and told myself I didn’t need a drink. It was hard but eventually I lost that craving. I began to play basketball more often and work out when I was not working, which was all the damn time. In the first month I lost 10 pounds and I began to feel better. By the time three months rolled around I had lost nearly 20 pounds and felt really well. I had more energy, looked better and just felt good. As I became more and more immersed into the Kuwait way of life I found it rather easy to purchase alcohol on the black-market. I broke down only once to buy a bottle – on my birthday. I can remember not liking this bottle as much. In fact I was disappointed and felt that the money I spent, 140 US dollars, wasn’t worth it. Original alcohol in Kuwait is very expensive. I sat down and told myself I had come this far and that there was no use in ruining a good thing just for a drink – I went over six months without a single drink. When I visited Dubai on a short break I again found myself not liking the taste of a bottle. Here home now, it is the same thing. Sure, I drink but only socially, not by myself alone at my desk depressed every single night.

Was I an alcoholic? Some say yes while others say I still am because I still drink. I say I am mentally strong and can handle a drink or two every now and then. It is funny actually because when I first arrived in Kuwait I couldn’t wait to be home in a liquor store. When I finally came home it was over a week before I stepped into the first one.

Here is to your demons and your way of dealing with them! ;-) I do know that I have learned my lesson! I will NEVER fall back into the drunken stupor I was once in. Yes, I do regret some of the things I did while under the influence of the bottle…

I've still got a few lessons to learn the hard way, though - I'm human just like you! In fact, there is a lesson I'm still reeling over its affects from after not being strong enough to battle back against its “gravitational” pull ... :( I’m trying, though, trying real hard!! And I can tell you I will not make this mistake EVER again!!!

While recording a Video Lesson.