Nothing changes your opinion of a friend so surely as success - yours or his.
I'm glad I didn't have to fight in any war. I'm glad I didn't have to pick up a gun. I'm glad I didn't get killed or kill somebody. I hope my kids enjoy the same lack of manhood.
An honest politician is one who, when he is bought, will stay bought.
A tactical retreat is not a bad response to a surprise assault, you know. First you survive. Then you choose your own ground. Then you counterattack.
The radical of one century is the conservative of the next. The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out the conservative adopts them.
The mellow sweetness of pumpkin pie off a prison spoon is something you will never forget.
Good taste is the enemy of comedy.
Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
It is common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something.
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