18 WHEELS OF STEEL CONVOY CHEATS

I was asked by several people to post this story and progression photos of my first car cake. Scroll through the set to read and see the entire story. Mike's DVD is fantastic and worth every penny. Any problems with the car are my own and not a result of his direction.

My Adventures with Mike:

I finally got my Mike’s Amazing Cakes Cakeology DVD in the mail. The DVD is about two hours long and I decided to watch it through at least once before deciding if I wanted to do a car cake. My first viewing lasted about 30 minutes before I fell asleep. My second viewing was about half that time. After four attempts, I’ve seen most of the video and feel ready to tackle this cake.


Mike essentially takes you through the entire process in real time. He starts with materials, blueprints for cars and how to make a template. All interesting stuff but it does seem slow going when you’re watching someone cut out templates with an Exacto. You get to watch him cut out every.single.template.


Then comes the cake. He shows you how to position the template and cut the basic shape of the car. So that’s how they do it. Huh. Way easier than what I’d have tried to “eyeball.” And hey, it actually looks like a car! Woohoo. Ok, I start thinking maybe I can do this.


Now the crumb coating…in real time. (This was my first nap. In fairness, I was holding a sleeping baby after a 10 hour workday.) Then he shows you how to crumb coat again (and again). He gives some good tips. I never would have thought to heat up my buttercream and rub it on the car like I’m slathering lotion on my baby’s butt. Good stuff and much easier than trying to get it perfect with an offset spatula. Next nap.


Modeling chocolate….looks like a Tootsie Roll. Why in the world would he cover the entire top with modeling chocolate? Seems weird. There are good tips on the windows, grill and wheel covers. Why am I covering wheel covers again?


Fondant….so I should roll my fondant in to a log and then only work in one motion? I guess that makes sense. I wonder why that never occurred to me. That makes me feel dumb, and a bit sleepy. Next nap (same baby is sleeping again). When I wake up, Mike’s cutting windows out to reveal the modeling chocolate below. VERY cool look. I wouldn’t have thought to do that. He explains this keeps the car from looking “schloopy.” Is that a mix of Snoopy and Scooby? I get what he means. Without this video, I def would have had a schloopy car.


Detailing…Mike uses these artist tools to score lines and bring out details. Why don’t I think to use these things? I guess that’s why he’s an artist and I’m….well, not. He makes it look easy. He walks you through the edging on the windows and how to make tires with modeling chocolate. Now the tires are freaking cool. My love affair with modeling chocolate has just begun. It’s way late though and after the first tire, my eyes are heavy. I wake up and he’s airbrushing the finished product.


Rewind…He cuts out the wheel wells….all of them. One at a time. Then he does some acrobatic move to scoot the cake ? of the way off the cake board. I imagine my cake on the floor. His doesn’t wind up on the floor. He has a really good camera guy who must have positioned himself upside down and under a table in order to get a peak at Mike cutting out the shapes. Go camera guy! Then he shows you how to raise the car up on a Styrofoam riser which has been painted black. Brilliant. Now I just have to attach the tires with chocolate. Finally, an airbrush completes the look.


So, it doesn’t look hard at all. Anyone can do this. How hard can it be?

I'm driving on the road that Hitler built
I'm driving on the road that Hitler built
This is the place where history stopped to shit
And I'm driving on the road that Hitler built

I'm driving on the road that Stalin built next
There's more holes in Joe's than Adolf's
But what would you expect
I wonder what the Germans did
To fall from history's nest
And I'm driving on the road that Stalin built next

On the roads of Germany
On the roads of Germany
These are the roads of the 20th century
And there's blood and steel and leather
Mixed into that concrete
When you're riding on the roads of high Germany

I'm cruising on Konrad's Autobahn
Konrad's got a Beetle and Ludwig a Trabant
And Willy's got a Merc and Erich's got a tank
But that road only took me to a concrete dead end trap

We're driving on the road that never ends
All roads lead to exit signs and then they start again
And Helmut's building on the wheel of history as it spins
And history never ends 'cos it's too busy beginning

On the roads of Germany
On the roads of Germany
These are the roads of the 20th century
And there's blood and steel and leather
Mixed into that concrete
When you're riding on the roads of high Germany

And I'm walking in a Black Forest lane
And I step into the trees for to get some leafy shade
And I fall asleep in some dappled sunlit glade
And I dream and in my dream I am lost and afraid
And it grows dark, it grows damp and I shiver and I'm cold
And deep inside the forest something obscenely old
Stirs and shakes and comes awake and in it's putrid pit
It belches and it squirms in its own dirt and filth
And slithers on it's stinking slime while everything holds its breath
And its slow thighs, blank eyes pitiless as the past
Reborn from its fitful sleep, its hour come again at last
Slouches towards its own Jerusalem to be re-cast
And in my horror I recognise myself in it as it passes
Familiar and repulsive and as old as mortal man
This philosophy of brutality, ignorance and hate
Buried deep in everyone waiting to escape
And you must kill it before it kills you and everything in its wake
And I take my knife and I kill it, and it screams and then I wake
And I'm terrified and horrified and in this mortal state
I stagger toward the curbside of the 4 lane motorway
"Drive" I say and we drive and soon I stop shaking
But I can't stop thinking 'bout these dreams and revelations
Except it's not a dream it's real and it's of our own making
And it's not just Germany it's everywhere and the whole world is a-quaking
As we turn onto this road we all seem to be taking
And you can't help thinking these things on the roads of Germany