Marketing
Shalom Auslander, Beware of God: Somebody Up There Likes You
...
„Fuck“, said God.
The angels stood quietly at the back of His office, their eyes locked nervously on the place where their feet would have been. The Angel of Death – the bearer of the afternoon's cosmically bad news – wrung his hands nervously as he stood before God's enormous oak desk. Lucifer stood behind God, calmly cleaning his gun.
„What do you mean he walked away from it?“ asked God.
Death shrugged. „I don't know, Boss. Not a scratch on him.“
The angels sang, their sweet, melodic voices ascending as one. „Hallelu...“
„Not now“, said God.
He closed His eyes and massaged His temples, trying to stave off the migraine He knew was coming. He was getting tired of this. Tired of the whole damn business.
Heaven fell silent, from the Pearly Gates out front to the steel service door out back. You could practically hear Hell.
„Something about side impact protection or something“, offered Death.
„What was he driving?“ asked Lucifer. „Volvo or some shit, right?“
„S40 sedan“, said Death.
Lucifer nudged God. „See? What'd I tell you about those things? Pain in the ass“.
„Hummers are even worse“, said Death.
„Yeah, but at least you can flip a Hummer“, said Lucifer.
„I've flipped plenty of Hummers“, said Death, „don't tell me about flipping Hummers. Flipping a Hummer isn't good for killing anybody.“
„Are you telling me that flipping a Hummer isn't going to injure the driver?“
„It's not a question of injuring, said Death, „it's a question of critically injuring.“
„But you could definitely flip a Hummer, that's my point.“
„Enough, “ said God. „Enough.“ They never seemed to tire of it.
He pulled open the top drawer of his desk, took out his handgun, and shoved a few cartridges into his pocket.
„Lucifer,“ He said. „Get the car.“
The angels sang, their sweet, melodic voices ascending up as one. „Hallelu...“
„Not now“, said God.
…
Post je objavljen 16.12.2007. u 01:30 sati.