Woooo Hoooo still is Woooo Hoooo

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Bogolite se mogu.

Dobar tek!!!

Piva je uvijek vlazna. Picku treba nadrazivati. 1 bod za pivu.

Piva je odvratna ako je topla. 1 bod za picku.

Ledena piva te zadovoljava. 1 bod za pivu

Ako nadjes dlaku medju zubima pijuci pivu, mogao bi povratiti. 1 bod za picku.

Ako se vratis doma smrdeci na pivu, mogla bi te zena napustiti. Nerjeseno (ovisi s koje strane gledas).

Deset piva za jednu noc i ne mozes voziti. Deset picaka za jednu noc i ne trebas vise voziti. 1 bod za picku.

Ako drmnes pivu u punom kaficu to je nromalno. Ako drmnes picku u punom kaficu si heroj. 1 bod za picku.

Ako policajac osjeti da smrdis na pivu mogao bi te uhapsiti. Ako osjeti da smrdis na picku, mogao bi te pozvati na pivu. 1 bod za picku.

Sto starija to bolja. 1 bod za pivu.

Ako drmnes pivu sa prezervativom, ne osjecas razliku. 1 bod za pivu.

Puno pive - mogao bi vidjeti UFO. Puno picaka, i mogao bi vidjeti zvijezde. 1 bod za picku.

Ako se stalno pitas kakva ce biti slijedeca picka si normalan. Ako pitas za pivu si alkoholicar. 1 bod za picku.


Poderati etiketu sa pive je zabavno. Poderati pickine gacice PUNO ZABAVNIJE. 1 bod za picku.

Drzava naplacuje porez za pivu. 1 bod za picku.

Ako drmnes drugu pivu, prva ne popizdi. 1 bod za pivu.

Uvijek si siguran da si ti otvorio pivu. 1 bod za pivu.

Ako uzburkas pivu, nakon nekog vremena se sama smiri. 1 bod za pivu.

Svijetla, tamna, crvena, crna. U svakom trenutku mozes odabrati kakvu pivu zelis. 1 bod za pivu.

Za pivu se zna tocno koliko kosta. 1 bod za pivu.

Pivo nema mamu. 1 bod za pivu.

REZULTAT: BOLJE PIVA NEGO PICKA





Ako si zensko i u ovom trenutku se ljutis, znaj da se piva ne bi naljutila zbog izgubljenog dvoboja. Jos jedan bod za pivu.

U ovim teškim vremenima, često ne postavljamo prava pitanja, pa ipak...:

Zašto ljudi uz dupli cheeseburger i veliku porciju pomfrita naruče
light
coca colu???

Zašto žene ne mogu staviti maskaru zatvorenih usta?

Zašto je riječ "skraćenica" tako dugačka?

Zašto da bismo ugasili Windowse moramo prvo kliknuti na "start"?

Zašto se sok od limuna pravi od umjetnih dodataka, a deterdžent za suđe
s
mirisom limuna od
pravih
limuna?

Zašto ne postoji hrana za mačke s okusom miša?

Zašto je igla koju upotrebljavaju za eutanaziju sterilna?

Sigurno ste već čuli za neuništive crne kutije u avionima... Zašto ne
proizvode čitav
avion od
takvog materijala?

Zašto uvijek jače pritišćemo tipke daljinskog kad su baterije skoro
ispražnjene?

Zašto peremo ručnike koje smo koristili nakon kupanja? Zar ne bismo
trebali
biti čisti u
trenutku
kad se brišemo njima?

Zašto piloti kamikaze nose kacige?

Kad zadaviš štrumpfa, kakvu boju on tad poprimi?

Kako table s natpisom "zabranjeno je gaziti travu" dospiju na sredinu
travnjaka?

Što je to čovjek pokušavao uraditi onog trenutka kad je otkrio da krava
daje
mlijeko?

Ako je riječ u rječniku nepravilno napisana, kako ćemo to primjetiti?

Zašto taj stari Noa nije zgnječio par komaraca?

Da li i radnici u liptonu (ice tea) imaju pauzu za "kavu"?

Zašto se "odvojeni" piše jednom riječju, a "svi zajedno" s dvije
odvojene?

Ako želim kupiti novi bumerang, kako da se riješim starog?

Zašto prodavaonice otvorene 24 sata na dan imaju brave i lokote?

TCP/IP - tri crna piva / i pelinkovac
DHCP - dva hladna crna piva
WINS - vina ima, natoci svima
ASP - ajmo svi pit'
SLIP - sad litru i pelinkovac
PPP - pijem pivo popodne
DVD - daj vodu drugima
ISA - idu stari alkosi
GPS - gorki pelinkovac svima
GIS - gorki i stella
ODBC - odnesi dva ballantinesa curama
DNS - daj nam soli
ARP - ajmo radije piti
PAP - prekaljeni alkoholicari piju
ADO - alkohol dolazi odmah
.NET - neka etanol tece
IRC - Ipak Rakiju Curama
PHP - Posalji Hladno Pivo
HTTP - Hocu Tamno Toceno Pivo
CGI - Cirkaj Game Ipak
SCSI - Svi Cugamo Sipaj Isto
AGP - Alkohol Gospoda Piju
DDR - Donesi Domacu Dakiju
MIRC - Ma ipak rakiju curama
ICQ - iskljucivo rakiju qpujem
FTP - fermentaciju toplo preporucujem
UTP - uveliko tekilu pijem
DSL - duplu srachku imam

mama ti je tolko debela da ima nekoliko manjih zena koje gravitiraju oko nje....

mama ti je tolko debela da kad te radjala nije skontala jel sere ili radja...

mama ti je tolko debela da je u trudnoci mislila da su dodatne 3 kile od onog poklon paketa dorine koji je smazala...

mama ti je tolko debela da nije ni skontala da je trudna...

mama ti je tolko debela da ju tata okrece bagerom kad joj ga oce sterat s guze...

mama ti je tolko debela da ju tata mora karat nogom da bi se probio kroz guzicu...

mama ti je tolko debela da tatu nije vidjela od zadnji put kad ju je probao lizat...

mama ti je toliko debela da kad obuce zutu kabanicu ljudi misle da ide taxi...

mama ti je toliko debela da ti stari kad idete na more vuce poseban sleper za nju...

mama ti je toliko debela da kad oblaci kajis mora bacati bumerang oko sebe...

mama ti je toliko debela da zapne kad skace u grand canyon...

tvoja je mama tak debela da treba kartu kak bi našla stopala...

tvoja mama je tak debela da joj treba viljuskar da se okrene dok spava...

tvoja mama je tak debela da njeno biomagnetno polje privlači Jupiterove mjesece...

tvoja je mama tak debela da kad se nakon ševe tri puta otkotrljam još sam na njoj...

tvoja je mama tak debela da kad ode na djetu propadne burza...

mama ti je toliko debela da ljudi misli da ide u rikverc kad joj zvoni biper...

reci mami da ne skace u more, indonezije ne moze podnjeti jos jedan tsunami...

mama ti je toliko debela da nije vidjela svoju pi......cku od puberteta...

Evo nesto o nasoj junacini na engleskom:

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead
decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he
grew a beard.

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke
the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while
she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and
unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was
finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his
soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and
admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second
Wednesday of the month.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could
chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU
RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat.
Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't
fuck with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony
of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile
radius of the blast went deaf.

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK
assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his
beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked
15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds
of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat
that, Lance Armstrong.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are
trademarked names for his left and right legs.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the
information he wants.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck
Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

Chuck Norris won 'Jumanji' without ever saying the word. He simply beat
the living shit out of everything that was thrown at him, and the game
forfeited.

Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of
"beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen,
jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence
to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of
roundhouse kick related deaths.

Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and
saying "booya".

When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes
only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris
has not had to pay taxes ever.

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

Chuck Norris does not have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway.

Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the
first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from
cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also
requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on
his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.

After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on
Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. His
reasoning? It was more "humane".

Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a
stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub.
Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had
gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck,
to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he
taketh away.

When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but
because he has run out of women.

Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling,
"Bang!"

Chuck Norris frequently signs up for beginner karate classes, just so he
can "accidentally" beat the shit out of little kids.

The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck
Norris--more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris--robot in disguise," and
starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from
drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too
much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.

One of the greatest cover-ups of the last century was the fact that
Hitler did not commit suicide in his bunker, but was in fact tea-bagged
to death by Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't understand why you should consult your doctor if
your erection lasts for more than 4 hours. His erections have been known
to last for up to 15 days.

A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "Charles". Chuck
Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.