weekendlover
22.11.2006., srijeda
Evo me...
Ko nova sam..osjećam se prosvijetljeno i produhovljeno..kao da su me oteli vanzemaljci i vratili me pročišćenu, mudriju i pametniju (ili kao da sam bila kod vlč. Sudca)... uglavnom... puno me je toga gušilo ovih dana.. propao mi vikend sa A.... ali da bi stvar bila gora, vodila sam jedan ozbiljan razgovor s Njim... i bilo mi je žao.. i došla mi je muka od sebe same.. i nisam imala što reći.. ali imala sam o čemu razmišljati... i ne bih ja bila ja da sve to nisam ispričala A. i bilo je teško... ali i to je sve prošlo... on razumije... više ne znam koji je njegov problem...kako ne vidi da ne treba razumjeti? da samo treba reći Odjebi mala... i sve rješeno... ali ne.. on bira teži put... kaže, razumijem... užasno me sve iritira ovih dana..strašno.. i ne, nije PMS, ja to nemam!! nikada!!! i ne pokušavajte me uvjeriti u suprotno!! živciram se najviše zato jer sam izgubila moć donošenja odluka po kratkom postupku.. to mi ranije nije bio nikakav problem.. ako mi se neki komad odjeće u mom ormaru ne bi svidio, bez razmišljanja bi završio u rukama lokalnih prosjaka... danas, pregledavam ga 5 puta...vadim iz ormara, vraćam nazad...bi, ne bi... i tako je sa svime.. zapravo više nisam sigurna u svoje odluke, u svoju moć razlučivanja pravog od krivog, a sama sam se dovela u tu situaciju.. mrzim kad mi se tipke lijepe na tastaturi jer sam prolila ness po njima... mrzim glupog Kramera jer je izvrijeđao crnce a tako mi je on dobar bio... mrzim ove glupe predbožićne nagradne igre u kojima svi žele osvojiti stanove, aute, i štatijaznamštosvene.. baš sam neka sjebana... a vidi početak posta, ko nova sam... my ass... nisam.. |
19.11.2006., nedjelja
unfaithful
Story of my life Searching for the right But it keeps avoiding me Sorrow in my soul Cause it seems that wrong Really loves my company He's more than a man And this is more than love The reason that the sky is blue The clouds are rolling in Because I'm gone again And to him I just can't be true And I know that he knows I'm unfaithful And it kills him inside To know that I am happy with some other guy I can see him dying I don't wanna do this anymore I don't wanna be the reason why Everytime I walk out the door I see him die a little more inside I don't wanna hurt him anymore I don't wanna take away his life I don't wanna be... A murderer I feel it in the air As I'm doing my hair Preparing for another date A kiss upon my cheek As he reluctantly Asks if I'm gonna be out late I say I won't be long Just hanging with the girls A lie I didn't have to tell Because we both know Where I'm about to go And we know it very well Cause I know that he knows I'm unfaithful And it kills him inside To know that I am happy with some other guy I can see him dying I don't wanna do this anymore I don't wanna be the reason why Everytime I walk out the door I see him die a little more inside I don't wanna hurt him anymore I don't wanna take away his life I don't wanna be... A murderer Our love, his trust I might as well take a gun and put it to his head Get it over with I don't wanna do this Anymore Uh Anymore anymore I don't wanna do this anymore I don't wanna be the reason why And everytime I walk out the door I see him die a little more inside And I don't wanna hurt him anymore I don't wanna take away his life I don't wanna be... A murderer.. |