Vicko Budalica

30.03.2005., srijeda

Text Editors
Computer Scientist: VIM
Hacker: Emacs
Script Kiddie: Notepad
Newbie: Ummm... Microsoft Word?

IDE
Computer Scientist: Well, they make us use Microsoft Visual Studio .NET
2003 at work, but I prefer VIM.
Hacker: Fuck IDEs. Use Emacs. If you must have someone hold your hand,
Mono.
Script Kiddie: Ummm...JCreator?
Newbie: I don't know how to write a program

Operating System
Computer Scientist: What happened to Unixware?
Hacker: I use Gentoo Linux, but I respect Slackware and LFS people.
Script Kiddie: Dual boot Windows 2000 and Mandrake.
Newbie: I love Mac OS X!!

Internet Connection
Computer Scientist: Dialup works for me. A couple megs of code doesn't take
that long.
Hacker: Steal wireless from the neighbors, no one will ever know since I'm
tunnelled through 4 proxies, use SSH tunneling, use a spoofed MAC address,
meticulously configured IP Tables, and use a quality hardware firewall.
Script Kiddie: Not sure what my dorm has...DSL? It's fast. I can download
movies in like...oh wait I wasn't supposed to say that :-o
Newbie: I love AOL!!

Software Piracy
Computer Scientist: ...is wrong. Programmers have families, you know.
Hacker: ...is stupid. If there's not already a GNU tool to do what you
need, write one.
Script Kiddie: f33r |/|3 3y3 4m 133T H@x.0RR !!
Newbie: Why is this such a big deal? I just borrow CDs at work, it's just
like borrowing a movie or something.

Women
Computer Scientist: I've been married for years. Don't make me think about
my wife while I'm on my computer.
Hacker: "I don't know...I just get this feeling that she's cheating on me."
Script Kiddie: It's cheaper to download porn :D
Newbie: Oh yeah, I talk to girls all the time on AIM.

Leet Speak
Computer Scientist: I don't know what you're talking about.
Hacker: Is gay. Use real encryption if you have something to hide.
Script Kiddie: 5uz3r7y 3y3 D0
Newbie: That's so nifty! I think it's funny when my friends from political
science do that on AIM.

Microsoft
Computer Scientist: I hate mice.
Hacker: Don't worry, eventually everyone will use GNU/Linux and Microsoft
will fade away.
Script Kiddie: I like Windows. Everything "just works."
Newbie: Macs rule. The guy at the Mac store says that you can't get spyware
or whatever in Macs.

IT News
Computer Scientist: HardOCP.com and Technocrat.net make good reads,
although I don't have time to keep up with this new stuff.
Hacker: I hear about important stuff on IRC eventually.
Script Kiddie: Slashdot
Newbie: The New York Times

I have a problem with my computer. Can you help me?
Computer Scientist: Send me the stack trace and tcpdump and I'll take a
look at it.
Hacker: Sure, I could use some pizza and beer this weekend.
Script Kiddie: Sure! What's your root password?
Newbie: Well, let me ask my friend. He's like a computer genius.

Instant Messaging
Computer Scientist: We used the "write" command when we used UNIX.
Hacker: I spend my life in IRC.
Script Kiddie: Jabber encrypts all my communications so I can trade warez
safely!
Newbie: I change my away messages on AIM and MSN like 10 times day.

Email Programs
Computer Scientist: I've used Elm for years.
Hacker: Thunderbird, but Pine is useful when breaking into...nevermind
Script Kiddie: Microsoft Outlook 2003
Newbie: Umm AOL and Hotmail? Oh wait, someone sent me a Gmail invite.

Web Browser
Computer Scientist: Netscape
Hacker: links2
Script Kiddie: Firefox with teh Silver theme and ChatZilla plugin
Newbie: Internet Explorer

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