An apology....
I apologize to my friends first for forgetting how much they mean to me….
For not being me, and for not caring.
I apologize to my family for the growing anger and hate because they keep me far from you.
For not being the girl you used to know who did all she can, who became someone who wants to do nothing.
I apologize to YOU for wanting us to work, for holding on so hard and for never giving up. I apologize for acting I didn’t care, once upon a time, to dying inside for just you every night over and over again.
And last I apologize to myself, for taking away so many chances, for becoming someone I don’t recognize or know…for being a person with no smile and no happiness…for offering teary nights and lonely days with no point and no greater meaning.
How the hell I ended up like this I don’t know,
I ask myself how this happened, why did I make the choices I did,
If I did something else would it have been easier…but there is no purpose to it.
I can’t ask myself what if …because there are no what if’s in history.
I am not even sure I would choose differently…..
Someday everything will be alright, but this day I am the only one who knows how hard it is to be me.
How deep the wound is and how much my heart desires you….
Nobody knows or hears my soul tearing apart …I feel dead
I apologize once more and pray you all forgive me one day,
I pray I forgive myself…
I know an appology is not nearly enough but for now it is all i have to offer...
And I hope for a brighter day…where my heart is whole and my soul is pure like it once used to be.
For then...I can be the girl you all loved..once upon a time
P.S. Zao mi je sto je trebalo ovako dugo za novi post ali sam pina obaveza i ne znam s cim sam vise sama sebe zabavila da nemam vremena za nista. Potruditi cu se javiti svima sto prije....Velika pusa i nadam se da sam ovim posom bar malo nadoknadila skoro pa mjesec dana bez posta....Pusaaaaaaaaaa
11.10.2007. u 04:02 | 19 Komentara | Print | # | ^
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