skeniranje dna

Ivona Marić
Conversation Starter · April 7 at 4:01 PM
I need a higher power by my side...I need to find it in me.

I've stopped nourishing the beast to sleep, the beast that I have caged and tranquilized for a long time, i almost forgot about it..but the hunger is about to wake the beast up...I've seen the signs in my sleep. gentle signs..whispering signs. I can always chose to feed it back to sleep or to face it and fight it. to win or to let it defeat me. in it's invisible way, from safe distance, the beast has always been able to find a way to rule my life. most of the time, I have not even been aware of it! but the time is running out. in this world of shapes and duality, the time is of importance. and it is so much easier not to do anything -time doesn't care what i'll chose to do or not to do. actually, right now i feel that there is nothing and no one to care. even I do not care. it is so easy to let it all go..let it be, whatever there will be...but the beast will be waiting behind the scene...unaware of the time...it can sleep for ages, but eventually it has to be fed or killed. or else it will grow to enormous proportions and obscure the light completely until only darkness is left....only darkness. does it even matter? I never know what matters..what if it doesn't matter at all?..why should it matter? I am a little bit lost right now....

but I've written this down only to make it easier for me to fully realize what is happening..maybe to shake off some of the fear...because i'm not the brave one, and I dreamed I was standing at the edge of a chasm and I knew if I had jumped that I would have flied...but I did not jump.... it is such a beautiful Sunday, and I am so confused. let the Monday come!

Stop. I must stop this! I can see how I begin giving up on things...small things...a walk in the park...a cup of coffee with a friend...that is how the beast wakes up. I withdraw from life and the beast steps forward...making small, small tiny steps so that when I notice-it is too late! but i've noticed now...I have no idea what is coming next....wish me luck.