Marketing
Paper Flowers
Of a million encounters
How can you predict the ones that will really matter?
~ * ~
Humility. What can I feel, standing in front of you, looking in your eye, but humility? A little, poor, naive girl, full of dreams, getting ahead of herself, taking things for granted. Big-eyed at the opportunity, at the unknown happiness that an angel had flown down from the heavens to give her? Jewels, treasure, beautiful things to richen her little, simple world of dreams. How she became to love that angel. How she became to hold dear everything it gave her, but knew still, that it wasn't her to be held, her to be given to. And tried, tried to pry herself away from all that made her world, not to depend on all the trinkets the angel gave her, not to feel exuberantly happy when it did, not to feel horribly sad when the angel never came at all. But... it was too late, wasn't it?
For the girl had already given the angel everything she was, everything she'd been hiding from others. For the girl had, unwillingly, given the angel her soul.
Ne znam tko si ti.
I do not know your wishes, your everyday life. I do not know your opinions. I do not know your favourite flavour of ice cream. Favourite habit. Favourite part of the day. Favourite memories.
I do not know who you are.
Nor do you know who I am.
But...
I do believe, Tenshou-chan, I believe... That I do know a little, a small dimension of you, a small part of you, through secrets barely whispered in the dark, lit by a night lamp. The only dimension I was allowed to feel... A voice.
And to this dimension, do I tell these things.
For a split second, Tenshou-chan, we were looking in each other's souls. For a split second.
Could you feel it? Do you remember...?
And I forgot about reality. I forgot about your name, or mine. I forgot everyday life, usual habits, society that I often do not fit in. Did you notice? How I never used to call you your name,
Onee-chan.
But how I exaggerated. How I still do. For my heart has a feeling - like you are most of what my world consists of, that the same is the other way around... But it wasn't until recently, that I had understood how insignificant I really am in this world. In your world. Always was, always will be, a little, poor girl with dreams, and that's all. Always alone, always lonely. Always fighting with sadness.
How I longed to be the one who holds your hand. The one who would always make you smile, always bring you comfort... The one who you'd know would always be there, and who you would cherish above almost all others... Who would help you dream about the one you'll love the most. Who holds your dreams a secret within...
But in fact, wanted to be held and cherished. Taken care of, looked after, thought of, loved in a special way, aside from others. How I loved that image.
"Imoto-chaaan! How are you? I missed you!!!"
But... The fate knows how to have fun. I hve wanted so much to give you everything I can, but...
In the end, I gave you nothing but trouble. I wasn't able even to comfort you, or make you happy. Only hurt you and make you angry... Make you worry about me, interrupt your happiness... Made your life more drama than it was worth... And I am sorry for that... So sorry... I have apologized so many times that it will soon mean nothing.
I'm sorry for being so weak. I'm sorry that I couldn't have done anything for you. I'm sorry for only being a nuisance...
And I want... To thank you. For giving yourself to me as much as you have. For giving me so much... Even though I had never been able to repay you... For caring. For making my wishes come true. For letting me see so much of the beauties of the world even though I am so insignificant... For listening to my dreams... For letting magic into my world, letting me feel the sun...
Thank you...
And I am happy, because I know you had once felt the same. Someone had brought the same light and magic into your world, you have felt the same magnificence. That is all I could wish for you...
I am not going to say it's over. I am not going to say goodbye. I have tried, but you cannot say goodbye to something that has your soul. For it might never be over for me. Don't forget... That someone has once truly loved you... no matter how unworthy it had been.
All I wish... is your happiness... That is all I am allowed to say to you now.
~ * ~
In my field of paper flowers
And candy clouds of lullaby
I lie inside myself for hours
And watch my purple sky fly over me...
~ * ~
Will you think of me when you see the sea, as I think of you when I see the moon...?
Post je objavljen 27.06.2008. u 17:14 sati.