OKVIR SITUACIJE JE VRLO JEDNOSTAVAN-RADI SE O PITANJU, STO BI POJEDINI
TIPOVI METALACA UCNILI, AKO BI SE NASLI U PRICI SA ZMAJEM I PRINCESOM:
Power metal:
The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the dragon,
saves the princess and makes love with her in an enchanted forest.
Thrash metal:
The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princess and fucks
her.
Heavy metal:
The protagonist arrives on a harley davidson bike, kills the dragon, drinks
some beers and fucks the princess.
Folk metal:
The protagonist arrives with some friends playing acordeons, violins, flutes
and many more instruments, the dragon falls asleep (by all the dancing)...
Then all leave... Without the princess.
Viking metal:
The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his migthy axe,
cooks and eats it, rapes the princess to death, steals the castle and burns
all the place before he leaves.
Death metal:
The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, fucks the princess and kills her,
then leaves.
Black metal:
The protagonist arrives at midnight, kills the dragon and impales it in
front of the castle... Then sodomizes the princess, drinks her blood in a
ritual before killing her... Then he impales the unvirgen princess.
Gore metal:
The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads his guts in the front
of the castle, fucks the princess and kills her... Then he fucks the dead
body, slashes her belly and eats her guts... Then he fucks the carcass for
the third time, burns the corpse and fucks it for the last time.
Doom metal:
The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks that he
never could beat him, then he gets depressed and commits suicide... The
dragon eats his body and the princess as well... (the end of the sad story).
Progressive metal:
The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo of 26 minutes... The
dragon kills himself out of boredom... The protagonist arrives to the
princess' bedroom, plays another solo with all the technics and tunes
learned in the last year of the conservatory... The princess escapes looking
for the heavy metal protagonist.
Glam metal:
The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs of the guy's appearance and lets
him enter... He then steals the princess' make-up and tries to paint the
castle in a beautiful pink color.
Grind metal:
The protagonist arrives, screams something completely undecipherable for
about 2 minutes and then leaves...
Post je objavljen 12.02.2006. u 14:36 sati.