Ovo je valjda milijarditi pt da pokušavam napisati prokleti post i sklopiti par normalnih rečenica koje imaju neki smisao. Stari postovi (koje nisam objavila) samo su se vrtili u krug i svaka rečenica je bila isto sranje napisano na drugačiji način. Ne znam zašto nešišem. Možda se oko mene ništa ne zanimljivo ne događa, možda nemam potrebut izražavati više svoje mišljenje, ili sam ipak samo preljena da bi išta napisala. Najgore je to što i sama ne znam šta od toga vrijedi za mene. Zadnje vrijeme postovi mi nisu toliko osobni kao što su prije bili i o dosta stvari koje mi se motaju po glavi zapravo i ne pišem, točnije nisam pisala i ne znam hoću li pisati. Nije to ništa posebno, ali ide mi na živce to što stvari lagano zaboravljam i što ideja ode brzo koliko i diđe. vjerujte mi, to je za mene poprilično iritantno. Dok sviram u glavi stvaram riječi pjesme koje imaju smisla, riječi s nekim značenjem i porukom. I kada ih pokušavam zapisati jednostavno sve nestane i padne u vodu i nema ničega i to me živcira. Živcira me i to što pjesme nalikuju na druge. Kao da sam ih već čula i koa da su već odsvirane. Naravno, vidljiv je Cobainov utjecaj i pjevne tihe strofe i onda eksplodirakući refreni. A ako nije Cobainov utjecaj onda je tu utjecaj Distillersa, Hole ili PJ Harvey.
Ovih dana sam konačno i dobila taj sveti DVD od PJ Harvey. I to je jedna od najboljih stvari koje sam dugo gledala. Set lista bi mogla biti bolja, ali i ova mi se sviđa. Naravno, žao mi je što nema pjesama Rid Of Me, 50ft Queenie, Man Sized, Dry, Fountain, Legs, Shame, Pocket Knife i još hrpe njih, ali nema veze. Zapravno, ne bi ni mogao postojati DVD koji će obuhvatiti mojih 40 najdražih pjesama od PJ Harvey. I za Polly je ovo jako čudan potez budući da obično skirva sebe od publike, ali eto, uz DVD ide čak i interview. I nešto sam u njemu zapazila što mi je bilo poprilično čudno i zanimljivo. Polly je rekla da i ona kada nešto voli, neku glazbu, pokušava saznati što više o tom izvođaču. Čudno je to. Ja radim isto tako, čim mi se nešto svidi počnem detaljno proučavati biografiju. To radim otkada sam počela slušati glazbom. Kako starim, to radim sve više. Čitajući Cobainovu biografiju saznala sam da su i on i Courtney radili isto to. Ne znam, možda to rade zašravo svi koji se bave glazbom. Čudno je to.
Moje najnovije glazbeno otkriće su Distilersi. Otkrila sam ih u 5. mjesecu, ali tek sam ih na početku ovog mjeseca počela intenzivno slušati. Nabavila sam sve njihove albume i trenutno je u izradi Distillers majica. Ne znam, već 2 godine nijedan bend me nije baš osvojio. Zapravo, ima malo bendova koji su me baš osvojili i čije CD-ove nisam tjednima vadila iz playera. A ti bendovi su (prema redosljedu kako sam ih počela slušati):
1. Nirvana - najranije ljubav, najtrajnija i najveća
2. Hole - slušala bi ih i duže od 4 godine da sam uspjela Courtney prihvatit ranije
3. Sonic Youth - Goo je jednostavno savršen album, moja lljubav s početka 8. razreda
4. Pixies - jednostavno nešta predivno
5. Pj Harvey - ona mi čita misli
6. Smashing Pumpkns - sam kraj 8. razreda
7. REM - velika ljubav cijelog ljeta (uz PJ i Cavea)
8. Nick Cave - Još jedna u nizu ljuvai tog ljeta
9. Auf Der Maur - početak 1. razreda
10. L7 - Smell The Magic mjesec dana nije izlazi iz linije
11. Distillers - sada
Naravno, sve te ljubavi prema bendovima bile su različitog inteziteta. Dok je najintenzivnija ljubav prema Nirvani, točnije Kurtu kao osobi, Distillersi su već na visokom 3. mjestu. Imaju super riječi i Brody ima super glas. Naravno, Kurt me opet počeo opsjedati. Ne toliko glazbeno ovaj put, nego više kao osoba. Toliko ga volim, a bio je sebičan. Jako sebičan. Gledao je samo svoj užitak i nije mu bilo stalo do ikoga iz svoje okoline, čak ni do Courtney i djeteta. Ne znam, možda mu se sviđa zbog toga što smo si tu slični. Ja mislim da bi postupila jednako. Isto bi samo otišla jednog dana i bilo bi me briga za sve. A to tako jebeno nije u redu. Nije u redu uzet pušku i raznjet si glavu. Nije u redu trošiti sav novac na drogu. Ogavno je udariti najboljeg prijatelja, koji je uvijek bio uz tebe i koji ti je pokušao pomoći, samo zbog toga da bi se mogao otić nadrogirat. Užasno je prezirati osobu koju voliš, samo zbog toga što ti ona pokušava pomoći. A Courtney se trudila i previše. I ne, nije ona navukla Kurta na heroin, navukao je on nju. Koliko god ja njega volim, moram priznati da je on nju doslovno uništio. Ali ja ga svejedno volim. Ima nešta u njemu šta mi se tako sviđa, zapravo, meni se sviđa slika o njemu koju sam stvorila sebi u glavu. Sviđa mi se to što je bio pomalo sjeban. A u isto vrijeme mi se te iste stvari ne sviđaju. Razočarao me je s tim što nas je sve ostavio, a opet to me kod njega privlači. Mrzim ga zbog toga što se ubio, a samoubojstvo mi se u isto vrijeme jako sviđa. Prekomplicirano mi je da to objasnim. Zapravo, sviđa mi se Kurt na turneji prije Neverminda 1991. To je to. Onaj veseli Kurt koji se gađao okolo pjenom iz aparata za gašenje požara, onaj Kurt koji je ludovao okolo kao da ima 17 godina. To je Kurt kojeg ja jako volim. A volim i sjebanog narkomana iz 1993 i 1994. I za kraj - spot od Distillersa - The Hunger:
Holy eyes, I never knew I'd beg down at your feet
Hold on tight I never knew I'd know much more than this
Open sky, the wave of pain the scent of you is bliss
Hungry eyes, they stare at me I know, I know
Don't go!
Summertime, the taste of saint secretes of perfume mist
Console the mind, I take it in the lips of pink I kiss
Lonely sky, the more you take the more that I give in
Holy eyes, I never knew, I know, I know
Don't go!
Hold onto the memory, it's all you got
I know you'll be there to soak up blood lost
Blood lost
Blood lost
Don't go!
Hold on to the memory, it's all you got
I know you'll be there to soak up blood lost
Hold on to the memory, it's all you got
I know you'll be there to soak up blood lost
Blood lost
Blood lost
IME: Nives
GOIDNE: 17
MJESTO: Osjiek
ŠKOLA: Metematička
OKUPACIJE: ugalvnom glazba + forumi + blogovi + još puno toga
SLOBODNO VRIJEME: gitara + dosađivanje + ljepljenje postera + slušanje glazbe + izlasci + skupljanje gluposti
ZAŠTO PROMJENA BLOGA: zbog toga što na ovom već duže vrijeme radim
MOJE SLIKE:
Courtney Love "Just you try to hold me down
c'mon and try to shut me up" Volim njenu glazbu i riječi pjesama. Filmskom karijerom nisam baš oduševljena.
PJ Harvey "Lick my legs I'm on fire
lick my legs of desire" Unikatka je i jednostavno na svijetu nemaju 2 PJ. Ona bi trebala biti uzor mladima, a ne neke tamo Britney i gole droljice kojima je samo bitan izgled.
Kurt Cobain "Just becouse you're paranoid
Don't mean they're not
After you" Jedan od malo muškaraca na mojoj listi. Njega jedino stvarno razumijem. Barem mislim da ga razumijem. Završio je tragično i nikada nije imao lijep život. Iz nekog razloga iskreno mogu suosjećati s njim.
D'Arcy Wretzky "My daydream seems as one inside of you
Though it seems hard to reach through this life
Your blue and hopeless life"
Najdraža članica Smashing Pumpkinsa. Nikada se nije mogla dovoljno kreativno izraziti u tom bendu. Na kraju ju je pizda Billy otjerao iz benda zbog ovisnosti o cracku. Jedna od najboljih bassistica.
Kim Gordon "Look into my eyes, don't you trust me
You're so soft, you make me hard" Još jedna od bassistica koje volim. Njene pjesme volim više nego Thurstonove i ima jednostavno nešta u njenom glasu. Određena doza traumatičnosti i drame koja se s glazbom Sonic Youtha sluper slaže.
Frances Farmer "Have you ever had broken heart?" Napisala sam post o njoj. Uglavom, glumica izmučena samo zbog toga što je bila drugačija. Slamali su je i nažalost su je uspjeli slomiti. Na kraju su joj ubili duh lobotomijom. Nije to zaslužila.
Brody Dalle "Open sky, the wave of pain the scent of you is bliss" Opet, ima super pjesme i super tekstove. Odličan glas. Volim i Sourpuss i Distillerse. I ona je u mojim godinama voljela Nirvanu i Sonic Youthe. Bravo za nju.
Chloe Sevigny "I am most proud of my integrity and least proud of my cynicism." Jedna od glumica a koje se baš nije čulo, više nešto kao indie glumica. Glumi bolje od svih onih Angelini Jolie i Scarlet Johnston koje su u filmovima jedino zahvaljujući izgledu. Gledala sam 2 filma u kojima je glumila i oba su mi se svidjela. Surađivala je s Kim Gordon iz Sonic Youtha.
Kim Deal His teeth as white as snow
What a gas it was to see him Njene pjesme jednostavo imaju nešto u sebi. Bolje su od Charlesovi. Ima super glas i naravno, podcjenjena je u Pixiesima. Na koncertu u Zagrebu pjevala je samo jednu pjesmu. Sramota. Bass dionica na Bone Machine osvaja uši.
Kirsten Pfaff Živjela je prekratko da bi ostavila išta značajnije, ali ono što je ostavila meni puno znači. Svirala je bass na albumu Live Trough This od Hole i po mom mišljenju ona je bila najbolje bassistica koju su ikada imali. Kurt je za nju rekao da ima predivnu dušu i da je stvarno dobra osoba. Rođena je na isti dan kad i ja, imamo isto srednje ime. Ona je starija 22 godine. Umrla je 2 mjeseca poslje Kurta od prevelike doze heroina.
Melissa Auf Der Maur "Why must you cry when I fall down?
It helps me with the truth inside" Svirala je u Hole i u Pumpkinsima. Ima super solo karijeru i nadarena je glazbenica i fotografkinja. Ima i dobre tekstove. Svira i gitaru. Jednostavno je moram uključiti na listu.
James Iha "Do you see beauty, do you see love, do you see anything at all
In all this time we waste precious time you waste" Moj drugi najdraži član Smashing Pumpkinsa. Šaren, zabavn i smiješan. Čini se da je dobar i drag. Također je izdao i solo album koji ću se potruditi nabaviti što prije jer mi se riječi pjesama sviđaju. Šteta što ga je Billy izbacio iz benda.
Nicole Kidman "These different people that I play become the loves of my life." Što više gledam filmove (a u zadnje vrijeme ih gledam poprilično često i puno) shvaćam da ima dobrih glumaca i da bez njih film ne bi bio isti. Svi filmovi koje sam s Nicole gledala su bili super. A u ulozi Virginie Woolf me oduševila kako je dobro odglumila. Jer mogla sam se poistovjetiti s likom iz filma, a to mi je do sada uspjelo samo 2 puta.
Nick Cave Into my human heart and filled me
With love, up to the brim, and killed me Moj najdraži rock pjesnik (ako se Kurt Cobain ne broji) kojega izrazito poštujem i volim. Na ovoj listi je malo muškaraca zbog toga što se s njima baš i ne mogu poistovjetiti, ali oni koji jesu stvarno nešto vrijede. Za Nick Cavea znam otkada znam i za sebe. Odrasla sam slušajući njegovu glazbu i jednostavno od slučajnog slušanja svaki dan i ja sam ga počela slušati svojom voljom jer mu je glazba jednostavno predivna, a riječi super.
Meryl Streep "There are some days when even I think I'm overrated, but not today."
Još jedna od najdražih glumica. Svi filmovi koje sam s njom gledala ušli su u moju listu najdražih filmova jer je jednostavno fantastična glumica.
Naomi Watts 'Pain is such an important thing in life. I think that as an artist you have to experience suffering. It's not enough to have lived it once; you have to relive it. Darkness is not a pejorative thing."
Još jedna od meni najdražih glumica koja me je osvojila ulogom u filmu Mulholland Drive. Inače, dobro je glumila u svim filmovima u kojim sam ju gledala.
RIOT GRRRL!PUNK-ROCK-FEMINISIM!
PJ Harvey "I'm not trying to cause a fuss
I just wanna make my own fuck-ups
I'm not trying to break your heart
I'm just trying not to fall apart"
-The Pocket Knife-
-Who The Fuck-
Who the fuck do you think you are
Get out of my hair
who the fuck do you think you are
Comin' round here
who the fuck who the fuck
who the fuck do you think you are
Get your comb out of there
Combing out my hair
I'm not like other girls
You can't straighten my curls
I'm not like other girls
You can't straighten my curls
No!
Who the fuck you tryin' to be
Get your dog away from me!
What the fuck you doing in there
Get your dirty fingers out of my hair
Who who who who
Fuck fuck fuck you
I'm free, you'll see
I'm me, you'll see
- slušam 2 godine-
HOLE "Slut me open and suck my scars"
-Loaded-
-Garbadge Man-
She tears the hole up even wider
Lets all the darkness up inside her
Holy old, yeah, you're mine
Your everything is mine
Without, without a doubt
Without, without a doubt
Hey, where the fuck were you when my lights went out?
Yeah, you don't want to look at it
Yeah, you don't want to look at it
Without, without a doubt
Come on and let me out
Hey, where the fuck were you when my lights went out?
Yeah, you don't want to look at it
Yeah, you don't want to look at me
Come on and let me out
Come on and let me out
Yeah, tie a soul to you when your life goes down
Time flies when you're falling down
I spread my rot all over this town
And every one of you looks the same
And every one of you feels the same
BIKINI KILL Peace, love, & equality
-Blood One-
-Star Bellied Boy-
He said he wanted to
Just touch you
HE SAID HE WANTED TO
JUST TOUCH YOU
Star bellied boy different from the rest
Yr so different from the rest
Prove yr different from the rest
Yr no fucking different from the rest
(I only wanted to believe we are all free)
And then he said "Why wont you fuck me?"
And then he said "Do me do me do me"
And then he said "I'll be your best friend"
And then I said......
Why
Do
I
Cry
Every
Time
That
I
Cum?
I can't I can't I can't cum
I can't I can't I can't cum
I can't I can't I can't cum
I can't I can't I can't cum
Why?
BABES IN TOYLAND So bright
I cant find sky
And why?
Always got to do that thing
Do that thing to me
-Dogg-
-Lashes-
She screams sweet hell
In her old white nightie
With rips and tears shes too aware
See through big black bombs
That explode on chickens
All the while she thickens
From
Cracks in the mortar
Cracks in the mortal
Babys got ruby jewel lashes
Thatll whip your spine
I see you grew into
That stiff gray suit theyve sewn for you
Scrub you clean
Now you forget what you mean
Wimpworm completely thick
Its you who makes me sick
With a great old brick and mortar
Cracks in the mortar
Cracks in the mortal
Cracks in the mortar
Babys got ruby jewel lashes
Thatll whip your spine
Every time she blinks
Makes me sink into ruby
Ruby* ruby jewel lashes
So I put on my best sunday dress
And I waltz straight into this mess of mine* posing as a guest
Or something much less
Than a crazy old doll in a crazy old dress
Cracks in the mortar
Cracks in the mortal
Cracks in the mortar
Babys got ruby jewel lashes
Thatll whip your spine
Well the thin moon sugar
It shines like a wino
The thin moon sugar it shines like a wino for me
L7 Don't wanna be rich
Now can't you see the way they dress
They dress
-American Society-
-Shove-
Bill collector called today
Shove
IRS is on my case
Shove
My boss says i should comb my hair
Shove
My father thinks that i'm nowhere
Get out of my way or i might shove
Get out of my way or i'm gonna shove
Landlord doesn't like my dog
Shove
My eyes are burning from the smog
Shove
The neighbors say i jam too loud
Shove
America thinks it should be proud
Some guy just pinched my ass
Shove
Drunken bums ain't go no class
Shove
The club says i won't get paid
Shove
it's been months since i've been laid
THE DISTILLERS don't know but i know it
you better find out what your place is
urban plight is in the city streets
it's infectious and it's complacent
-Idoless-
-Sing Sing Death House-
I am a death house haunted mirror
Acerbic heart ain't nothing pure in here
I keep the memories of a broken you
Sing sing the stories of a fractured few
I believe I will open up
For all my rage will surely come undone
Sing Sing Death House!
I am agnostic but I hang on a cross
Faithless saintless my sin stabs
I wear the crown of oblivion
Rule and aching void watch my sun burn out
I am a death house haunted mirror
Acerbic heart ain't nothing pure in here
You close the door I sing pleading
Save me before you leave you're leaving SLEATER-KINNEY Do ya get nervous watching me bleed?
-Dig Me Out-
-Call THe Doctor-
Hey want to socialize you
They want to purify you
They want to dignify, analyze and terrify you
This is love and you can't make it
In a formula or shake me
I'm your monster i'm not like you
All your life is written for you
(Look out they want what you know
Steal a kid break a heart steal the show
Peel back the skin see what's there
I'll never show you what's in here)
You're life is good for one thing
You're messing with what's sacred
They want to simplify your needs and likes
To sterilize you
This is love and you can't make it
In a formula or break me
I'm your monster i'm just like you
All my life is right before you
(Don't need you to explain the pain
I can prove to you it's all fake
She's dead but she can stand she can walk
Call the doctor miracle she can talk)
Call the doctor
This is love and you can't break it
In a formula or make me
I'm no monster i'm just like you
All my life is right before me
(This is not really me at all
Stunt girl daring twirls watch me fall
Can't tell anymore the real parts)
Be Your Own Pet But I was wrong, so wrong
Been thinking about this for far too long
And I'm tired, so tired
I'm tired of this Goddamn love riot
-Love Your Shotgun-
-Stairway To Heaven-
A stairway to heaven...
Lean on my shoulder, lean on my shoulder
I want another year older
Lean on my shoulder, lean on my shoulder
And share a bed with me
Lean on my shoulder, lean on my shoulder
I want another year older
Lean on my shoulder, lean on my shoulder
And share a bed with me
Get this something out of my head
There's too much shit going on my brain
Hurry hurry hurry hurry
Cos I think I'm gonna go insane
Whatever whatever whatever whatever
I know I know you know you're clever
So seduce me, introduce me
On the list you've had forever
My brain is on fire, my brain is on fire
So whisper in my ear
When it's all over, when it's all over
You can come and kiss me right here
My brain is on fire, my brain is on fire
So whisper in my ear
When it's all over, when it's all over
You can call me, kiss me right here The Raincoats Oh, I want to be pretty in a great big city
And oh I'd like to be so pretty in this great big city
And isn't it a pity if you're not the prettiest thing in the world
When you live in a great big city?
-Pretty-
-Looking In The Shadows-
You cross the street thinking
This way, or that way?
You chose the third
Your heart silently bleeding
You said,
I'll open the door
You said,
I'll break the window
You said,
I'll look at you
You cross the street, thinking
Looking in the shadows
You chose to see
Your heart silently bleeding
You thought,
I'll open the door
You thought,
I'll break the window
You thought,
I'll look at you
THE SLITS He had fun experience
Nothing he does ever makes sense
He is only curious
Don't take it serious -So Tough-
-Instant Hit-
He is a boy
He's very thin
Until tomorrow
Took heroin
Don't like himself very much
'Cause he has set to set to self-destruct
He is
Set to self-destruct
He is
Too good to be true
Enjoy it
Destroy it
He is
Too good to be true
He is
Set to self-destruct (set to self-destruct)
Enjoy it
Destroy it
I could
Hate you anytime
I could
Give you anything
Enjoy it
Destroy it
I forgive you anything
But I could
Hate you anytime
Enjoy it
Destroy it
He is
Set to self-destruct
JACK OFF JILL When I am queen I will insist with perfect scars upon my wrists
that everything you once held dear is taken away from you
-When I Am Queen-
-Vivica-
Oh Vivica I wish you well
I watch you burn in humid hell
No sleeping pills no old tattoos
will save you now
He'll never change he's just too vague
he'll never say you're beautiful
Oh Vivica I wish you well I really do, I really do
The apple falls far from the tree
she's rotten and so beautiful
I'd like to keep her here with me
and tell her that she's beautiful
She takes the pills to fall asleep
and dreams that she's invisible
Tormented dreams she stays awake
recalls when she was capable...
Oh Vivica I wish you well
I watch you sit I watch you dwell
No crooked spine no torn up rag
will save you now
He'll never change he's not that brave
He'll never say you're beautiful
Oh Vivica I wish you well I really do, I really do
The apple falls far from the tree
she's rotten and so beautiful
I'd like to keep her here with me
and tell her that she's beautiful
She takes the pills to fall asleep
and dreams that she's invisible
Tormented dreams she stays awake
recalls when she was capable...
Oh Vivica I wish you well
I'll sit right here I'll never tell
no tender scar no twist of fate
will save you now
He'll never change he's just not there
He'll never say you're beautiful
Oh Vivica I wish you will I really do, I really do
The apple falls far from the tree
she's rotten and so beautiful
I'd like to keep her here with me
and tell her that she's beautiful
She takes the pills to fall asleep
and dreams that she's invisible
Tormented dreams she stays awake
recalls when she was capable...
She's empty and so beautiful
I'll keep her here with me
LE TIGRE You talk good,
I’ll eat glass.
I heard you read my mind behind my back.
-TKO-
-Don't Drink Poison-
We learned this lesson five times fine: fake left, go right, back-stabs read minds!
Taillights shine beautiful, they make halos on the road.
Don't give our keys to the city to shark-suits, b-sides, free-things-please!
I left the code at the coat-check pointed to the word on my neck.
That's me, all night on stand-by.
Three words, three things...oh please please!
Don't, don't drink poison!
Wolf Girl, poolside, I'm in the lobby.
Gay concierge-spy high fives me.
It's all cool enemy style, smile at the tv while you download her file.
Watch for the quick slip, money shot, vid clip.
Walk past slowly, pass me the nurse kit.
Don't be fooled by the sister vocab...keep it light, put it on her tab.
Heads up for this tonight...it's some you'll recognize.
Looks like lips and feels like teeth, always waving to the people from the magazine.
There's one thing they love to see...it's tear jearks for charity and blank smirks all the way
to the airport.
There's one drink, on ice, oh I think it's ...
They say trouble comes in threes, I say Chicken Ceasar grows on trees.
It could be lucky to be out of luck.
I mean, better than to take the test where amnesiacs must write on napkins.
Prepare for what might happen.
In a trance from polished talk we think...coat throat, lemon lime, hot choc, oh! ...
Fem Exec is right behind me.
Almost there, through the glass doors, against the wall, on the third floor.
We found a robot hand hidden in a potted plant.
And we're not too nice to notice when white wine stinks and we're misquoted.
NAJDRAŽI LIKOVI IZ FILMA
Diane Selwyn iz Mulholland Drivea (Naomi Watts)
Lana Tisdel iz Boys Don't Cry (Chloe Sevigney)
Virginia Woolf iz The Hours (Nicole Kidman)
Betty Elms iz Mulholland Drivea (Naomi Watts)
Laura Brown iz The Hours (Juliane Morre)
NAJDRAŽI GLUMCI
Nema ih