18
nedjelja
studeni
2012
so not but summertime sadness
totalno bačen dan. neka. treba malo. nisam učila. nisam naučila. nisam se družila. nisam potrošila kvalitetno vrijeme. i?
tko će mi što reći?
who are you to judge me?
I just realised the funniest thing. It doesn't hurt anymmore. It's easy. there's no more drama and no more pain. and it's awesome. I haven't even gave a thoght about it. there's no more lies and stuff. and all the crap is gone!
the fck I felt and was sure it'll never fade, it did. you know stupid? so here's to you, you future you who's gonna be sad and devastated. it's gonna pass.
he's gonna get replaced, with better. and yeah, all those stuff you were telling your self there and haven't believed in them, they were the truth and I know it now.
all those stupid advices and sht. those were the real things. and everything did got better and you will learn hell a lot of it.
just hold on and try and believe in yourself like you did this time.
you're worth it. he's not.
sou.
happy life, what else to say. exams are soooo close and I'm getting tired of it. ALREADY. well fck them and everything. I know everything is gonna be ok but cmoooon it's just so .. you that feeling you get when you know that you have to do something but you're just too lazy for it? not just lazy.. it's like, when you know you have to do it it's the hardest thing ever.
i have no idea why have I made this post on english. it was just a bit easier. to hide behind it.
that's not my language so that's "not me". lol jk we all know ( ahahha we, only I read this ) that I'm really trying to be myself but this stupid valiables are making me feel so bad for not being "good enough"
well, just gonna put some awesome photo here now and leave. easier haha :)
loves you!
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05
ponedjeljak
studeni
2012
danas je dan prekida odluka i čuda
kiši i nije normalno. i drugačije je.
i što sad? gotovo? gotovo. to je taaako lako zapravo. je li?
divan je on i to sve, ali više sam ja bila zbunjena nego što sam trebala. kad znaš znaš, a ja nisam znala. žao mi je, izrazito, ali eto, friend less, a lesson. and a blessing.
nedostajat će.
kad smo kod toga. i on nedostaje. našla sam razglednice koje je sačuvao. moje, samo moje. i dalje je teško i nije mi uvjerljivo. i dalje ne vjerujem u tu neralnost i dalje ne osjećam ništa a osjećam sve..
o onom tamo mi se ne priča. ništa ne znam ali znam da je smiješno i da mi sada tako paše. nemam ništa drugo za reći osim toga i nadam se da neću žaliti poslije.
vrijeme je savršeno za ništa. čisto odmaranje i uživanje u udarcima kiše u prozor i žlijeb. žlijeb je glupa i smiješna riječ.
čudi me svijet, sve je tako nekako.. prolazno. i sve mi se čini nebitno i živcira me psihologija i sociologija koja je tako realna. živcira me i to što cijeli svijet ide u k. i kada onda kada ode?? di će nestati!? kome? kuda? tko to pokreće i tko to zaustavlja? i zašto?!
i onda u ovom trenutku me opet počne boljet iznutra i prestanem i odem uživati u glupostima kao što su nastavak života.
a to tako valjda svi radimo.
odlučila sam pratiti ovo : try to say nothing negative about anybody for : three days, forty-five days, for three months and see what happens with your life.
mogla bi početi i pisati o tome.
zašto ne :)
idem. odmaram. ništa. bokk
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