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yEs oR nOo

mjesto za mene

ovdje je malo mjesto koje će biti podsjetnik na sve dobre i loše dane...
ovo je mjesto na kojemu su ljudi koje volim i cijenim i ljudi koji će tek doći...
mjesto na kojem svatko može reći svoje mišljenje...
mjesto za mene ...





Nešto o meni :
Zovem se Ivona
Idem u treći razred gimnazije
obožavam glazbu, osobito Mansona
cijenim svoje iskrene frendove
volim vikende
volim crnu boju
Sve ostalo ćete saznati čitajući moje postove ...





''Od novog jada stara bol će proći.''

''Moja čast je moj život, oboje su u jedno srasli,
Uzmete li moju čast, moj život niste spasili.''

''Smijem sve ono što dolikuje čovjeku;
Tko smije više od toga, nije čovjek.''

Blogovi dragih mi ljudi

Lucija
Petra
Marija
Vanja
Spoiled bitch
Sučić
Ines
Mates
Lola
Keki
Anita
Nyka
Domenika
Dani
Anonimna brineta
Marko
Matta
Robi
Anchie
Matea
angel_of_darkness
Silly thing
Čohan
ludha mala
mala frčkava
Power Trip
Any
Valida
Sophie Wolf
Haba
Maja
Rosemary
.DevilRed.
sk8bail
saint616
Luciferčica
Juwica
tear-of-blood
...to sam samo ja...
Woodlands
dEgAnEgaNe
×silent scream×
amaryllis
the crow...

Moja ljubav




If I Was Your Vampire

6 a.m. Christmas morning.
No shadows,
No reflections here.
Lying cheek to cheek
In your cold embrace.

So soft and so tragic
As a slaughterhouse.
You press the knife
Against your heart.
And say,
"I love you, so much you must kill me now."

I love you
So much
You must kill me now.

If I was your vampire,
Certain as the moon,
Instead of killing time,
We'll have each other
Until the sun.
If I was your vampire,
Death waits for no one.
Hold my hands
Across your face,
Because I think
Our time has come.

Digging your smile apart
With my spade-tounge.
The hole is where the heart is.
We built this tomb together,
And I won't fill it alone.
Beyond the pale
Everything is black,
No turning back.

If I was your vampire,
Certain as the moon,
Instead of killing time,
We'll have each other
Until the sun.

If I was your vampire,
Death waits for no one.
Hold my hands
Across your face,
Because I think
Our time has come

Blood-stained sheets
In the shape of your heart,
This is where it starts...
Blood-stained sheets
In the shape of your heart,
This is where it starts.
This is where it will end.
Here comes the moon again.

6:19 and I know I'm ready
Drive me off the mountain.
You'll burn,
I'll eat your ashes.
The impossible wheels seducing
Our corpse.

If I was your vampire,
Certain as the moon,
Instead of killing time,
We'll have each other
Until the sun.
If I was your vampire
Death waits for no one.
Hold my hands
Across your face
Because I think
Our time has come.

Beyond the pale
Everything is black
No turning back.
Beyond the pale
Everything's black
No turning back.

This is where it starts.
This is where it will end.
Here comes the moon again.

This is where it starts.
This is where it will end.
Here comes the moon again.

Here comes the moon again

Here comes the moon again




"Angel With The Scabbed Wings"

He is the angel with the scabbed wings
Hard-drug face, want to powder his nose
He will deflower the freshest crop
Dry up all the wombswith his rock and roll sores

Dead
Is what he is, he does what he please
The things that he has you'll never want to see
What you're never gonna be now
Sketch a little keyholefor looking-glass people
You don't want to see him
You only want to be him
Mommy's got a scarecrow, gotta let the corn grow
Man can't always reap what he sow
"He is the maker"
(He is the taker)
"He is the saviour"
(He is the raper)



Tainted Love

Sometimes I feel I've got to
Run away I've got to
Get away
From the pain you drive in the heart of me
The love we share
Seems to go nowhere
And I've lost my light
For I toss and turn I can't sleep at night

Once I ran to you (I ran)
Now I run from you
This tainted love you've given
I'll give you all a boy could give you
Take my tears and that's not nearly all
Tainted love... oh
Tainted love

Now I know I've got to
Run away I've got to
Get away
You don't really want any more from me
To make things right
Need someone to hold you tight
And you'll think love is to pray
But I'm sorry I don't pray that way

Once I ran to you (I ran)
Now I run from you
This tainted love you've given
I'll give you all a boy could give you
Take my tears and that's not nearly all
Tainted love... oh
Tainted love

Don't touch me please
I cannot stand the way you tease
I love you though you hurt me so
Now I'm going to pack my things and go

Touch me baby, tainted love

Down in a hole

Bury me softly in this womb
I give this part of me for you
Sand rains down and here I sit
Holding rare flowers
In a tomb...in bloom

Down in a hole and I dont know if I can be saved
See my heart I decorate it like a grave
You dont understand who they
Thought I was supposed to be
Look at me now a man
Who wont let himself be

Down in a hole, feelin so small
Down in a hole, losin my soul
Id like to fly,
But my wings have been so denied

Down in a hole and theyve put all
The stones in their place
Ive eaten the sun so my tongue
Has been burned of the taste
I have been guilty
Of kicking myself in the teeth
I will speak no more
Of my feelings beneath

Down in a hole, feelin so small
Down in a hole, losin my soul
Id like to fly but my
Wings have been so denied

Bury me softly in this womb
Oh I want to be inside of you
I give this part of me for you
Oh I want to be inside of you
Sand rains down and here I sit
Holding rare flowers (oh I want to be inside of you)
In a tomb...in bloom
Oh I want to be inside...

Down in a hole, feelin so small
Down in a hole, losin my soul
Down in a hole, feelin so small
Down in a hole, outta control
Id like to fly but my
Wings have been so denied

Sweet dreams

Sweet dreams are made of this
Who am I to disagree?
Travel the world and the seven seas
Everybody's looking for something
Some of them want to use you
Some of them want to get used by you
Some of them want to abuse you
Some of them want to be abused

Sweet dreams are made of this
Who am I to disagree?
Travel the world and the seven seas
Everybody's looking for something

Some of them want to use you
Some of them want to get used by you
Some of them want to abuse you
Some of them want to be abused!

I wanna use you and abuse you
I wanna know what's inside you

Movin' on
Hold your head up
Movin' on
Keep your head up

Movin' on!

Sweet dreams are made of this
Who am I to disagree?
Travel the world and the seven seas
Everybody's looking for something

Some of them want to use you
Some of them want to get used by you
Some of them want to abuse you
Some of them want to be abused

I'm gonna use you and abuse you
I'm gonna know what's inside
Gonna use you and abuse you
I'm gonna know what's inside you






"Last Day On Earth"

Yesterday was a million years ago
In all my past lives I played an asshole
Now I found you, it's almost too late
And this earth seems obliviating
We are trembling in our crutches
High and dead our skin is glass
I'm so empty here without you
I crack my xerox hands

I know it's the last day on earth
We'll be together while the planet dies
I know it's the last day on earth
We'll never say goodbye

The dogs slaughter each other softly
Love burns it's casualties
We are damaged provider modules
Spill the seeds at our children's feet
I'm so empty here without you
I know they want me dead

I know it's the last day on earth





Fear of the dark
I am a man who walks alone
And when Im walking a dark road
At night or strolling through the park

When the light begins to change
I sometimes feel a little strange
A little anxious when its dark

Fear of the dark, fear of the dark
I have a constant fear that someones always near
Fear of the dark, fear of the dark
I have a phobia that someones allways there

Have you run your fingers down the wall
And have you felt your neck skin crawl
When youre searching for the light?
Sometimes when youre scared to take a look
At the corner of the room
Youve sensed that somethings watching you

Have you ever been alone at night
Thought you heard footsteps behind
And turned around and no ones there?
And as you quicken up your pace
You find it hard to look again
Because youre sure theres someone there

Watching horror films the night before
Debating wiches and folklore
The unkown troubles on your mind
Maybe your mind is playing tricks
You sense and suddenly eyes fix
On dancing shadows from behind

Fear of the dark, fear of the dark
I have a constant fear that someones always near
Fear of the dark, fear of the dark
I have a phobia that someones allways there

When Im walking a dark road
I am a man who walkes alone





Cryptorchid

Each time I make my mother cry an
angel dies and falls from heaven
when the boy is still a worm it's hard to
learn the number seven but when they get to you
it's the first thing that they do each time I look outside
my mother dies, I feel my back is changing shape
when the worm consumes the boy it's never
considered rape when they get to you
prick your finger it is done...
the moon has now eclipsed the sun...
the angel has spread its wings...
the time has come for bitter things...



Mobscene

We are the thing of shapes to come
Your freedom’s not free and dumb
This Depression is great
The Deformation Age, they know my name
Waltz into scum and base and
Married to the pain

Bang, we want it
Bang, we want it
Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang!
You came to see the mobscene
I know it isn’t your scene
It’s better than a sex scene
and it’s so fucking obscene
Obscene, yeah.

You want commitment?
Put on your best suit; get your arms around me
Now we’re going down, down, down
You want commitment?
Put on your best suit; get your arms around me
Now we’re going down, down, down

Be obscene, be, be obscene
Be obscene, baby, and not heard






Heart- Shaped Glasses

She reminds me of the one in school
When I was cuttin'
She was dressed in white
And I couldn't take my eyes off her
But that's not what I took off that night

She'll never cover up what we did with her dress, no
She said kiss me
It'll heal
But it won't forget
Kiss me
It'll heal
But it won't forget

And I don't mind you keepin' me
On pins and needles
If I could stick to you
And you stick me too

Don't break
Don't break my heart
And I won't break your heart-shaped glasses
Little girl, little girl
You should close your eyes
That blue is getting me high





They Said That Hell's Not Hot


I kill myself in small amounts
In each relationship it's not
About love.
Just another funeral and
Just another girl left in tears.
And I'm waiting
With the sound turned off
I'm waiting
Like a glass balloon
And I'm fading
Into the void and then
I'm gone, I'm gone, I'm gone...
They said that hell's not hot
They said that hell's not hot
I gave my soul to someone else
She must have known that
It was already sold.
It was never about her,
It was about the hurt.
I'm waiting
Like a glass balloon
And I'm fading
Into the void and then
I'm gone, I'm gone, I'm gone...
They said that hell's not hot
They said that hell's not hot
I kill myself in small amounts
In each relationship it's not
About love.
Just another funeral and
Just another girl left in tears.
And I'm waiting
With the sound turned off
I'm waiting
Like a glass balloon
And I'm fading
Into the void and then
I'm gone, I'm gone, I'm gone...
They said that hell's not hot
They said that hell's not hot

ovo je jedan od prvih bandova čije sam cd-e dobila od starog i počela slušati...
stari me i usmjerio na pravi put, sada shvaćam kada mi je znao kao klinki govoriti da se prava glazba sluša zauvijek, nije prolazna kao današnja...




također jedan od prvih bandova koje sam slušala... još ih i danas volim...
u ruke sam ih dobila od jedne frendice kojoj se baš i nisu sviđali! imala sam sreće!




ovo je čovjek koji mi puno znači u životu... ne samo on, već njegova glazba... i molim, bilo kakve predrasude i mišljenja zadržite za sebe.




Hendrix je za mene jedna velika legenda. način na koji svira, izražava svoj dar, pjesme... volim ga!



Shot at 2007-07-05

Bend kojeg sam nedavno intenzivnije počela slušati, a i dosta mi znači zbog jedne osobe...





obožavam njihove stvari... jednostavno njihove pjesme dođu do tebe, osjetiš ih... i like it...



najsavršeniji čovjek na svijetu ...

nedjelja, 22.07.2007.

No Pain, No Gain

------------------
No pain no gain
No pain no gain
------------------


Eto ljudi. Ovo je bio veoma poučan vikend. Shvatila sam da treba riskirati i taj savjet sam dala i jednoj djevojci koju sad pozdravljam, znati će ona tko je, pričale smo u wc-u u Ziheru. Uglavnom još jedna frendica je riskirala i dobila što je htjela. Pomogla sam joj koliko sam mogla, drago mi je zbog tebe Marija. I shvatila sam da mi nije problem riješit neke stvari za druge, ali kad na mene dođe red, posustanem. Nemam snage riskirati. Pa što vi mislite? Bilo u ljubavi, školi, životu općenito?! Je li vrijedno riskirati? Znam, ovisi koliko i što. Ali jednostavno se bojim razočaranja. Želiš nešto, ideš na rizik, što ako izgubim? Ako dobim, biti ću najsretnija ali opet zbog svoje nesigurnosti ne mičem se s mrtve točke. Ne mislim da sam slaba osoba, to nikako. Samo mrzim rizik i sve što se vuče uz to. Ali gledajući sada svoju frendicu koliko je sretna, pa i morala je birati između sreće i boli. A ja mrzim bol. No, ona je uzela kartu sreće. Pitam se, koja karta bi se meni otvorila?

-----------------------------------------
Keep runnin' don't look back
Keep movin' paint it black
Keep goin' don't ever stop
There's time to rest the day you'll drop
------------------------------------------

I moram spomenuti da smo ovaj tjedan s utorka na srijedu bile kod Lucije na vikendici. Baš je bilo kul! Marija je nosila kameru, kada dobijem snimke možda što i stavim.
Al bilo je luuuudo!
Ovaj vikend također. Nema smisla sada opisivati! Ali mi znamo…


----------------------------------------
You roll the dice you play the game
The weak will fall the strong remain

No pain no gain
No pain no gain
----------------------------------------



Edit
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Pa odlučih napisati još nešto prije nego što odem! Da, odlazim na more i zbilja vam neću imati od kuda ostavljati komentare niti pisati postove. Ali se nadam da ćete mi ostaviti svoje komentare vezane uz post iznad da imam što čitati kada se vratim!! I obećajem da ću svima odgovoriti!
Ljudi, uživajte!
Pozdrav i pusa mojim djevojkama- Dini, Loli, Mariji i Luciji
Pusu šaljem dragom Matesu i Bruni
Naravno pozdrav svima iz Karlovca s kojima se dopisujem, ljudi vidimo se!
I pozdrav ostalim blogerima …
Vaša Rudlava
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

petak, 13.07.2007.

Glupe stvarčice, rastrgani papiri, obične olovke, lažni privjesci, obične korice i rijetke igračke čine moje bogatstvo. Bogatstvo koje naravno pripada mojoj prošlosti. Zašto se nečega ne mogu riješiti?! Zašto?? Zbog čega ne ostavim samo sjajne igračke i netaknute bilježnice i stvari koje u meni pobuđuju sjećanje na lijepe trenutke i događaje? Zašto ne mogu baciti stvari koje kad pogledam osjetim jezu i nelagodu?! Čemu skrivati i držati nešto od nekoga tko je prije puno značio, danas apsolutno ništa?!






Čuvam neke slike koje su bile od velike vrijednosti za moje tadašnje stanje i želje, sada ne znače ništa, ali ja ih ne mogu spaliti niti baciti. Je li moguće da sam se toliko vezala?! Nisam mislila da nešto može toliko utjecati na mene. Uspomene, stvarčice… Zar ne bi bilo logično da bacim jebene slike iz dnevnika od prije dvije godine koje mi danas ne znače ništa?! Čak se razbjesnim kad ih vidim. A one proklete stvari koje mi je dala ONA, ne želim ni ime spominjati koliko je žalim, tzv. nekadašnja prijateljica s kojom se danas ni ne pozdravim na ulici? Iznenadila sam se koliko stvari znače, koliko uspomene bude … A vjerovala sam da se samo jako mogu vezati uz obitelj i prijatelje. Nemam dovoljno hrabrosti za rješavanje pojedinih problema koji su nastali davno, ali prate me i danas. Kad postanem odlučnija i sigurnija riješiti ću se toga. Iako imam potrebu da to bude sada. Osjećala bih se slobodnijom i ne toliko vezanom…

srijeda, 11.07.2007.

Evo, prošao još jedan vikend. Toliko ih čekamo, a ne uspijem napraviti sve što si zamislim tada. Zato su u nedjelju došle moje djevojke, Marija i Lucija sa zabavnog im Mljeta. Zabavno gledaj kao sarkazam. I naša je Lucija bila sama doma, prespavale smo kod nje. Iako smo planirale sasvim normalnu večer uz gledanje kakvog filmića, mi smo završile u dragom nam Ziheru. No, netko je došao do jako dobre ideje. Da pijemo! I rado smo sve to prihvatile. Srele smo Matesa na putu do trgovine i on se ponudio za prijevoz. Pa zahvaljujem mu još jednom na tome iako nisam sigurna kada ćemo se opet voziti s njim. Pozdrav i Aniju koji je bio s nama! I tako smo proveli dio večeri kod zida, pa smo se uputile do Zihera. Na putu smo srele Šuška, čovjek nam se priključio. U Ziheru je bila vesela atmosfera, Marija nas častila još jednom rundom i tako smo se mi razveselile u ponedjeljak navečer!! Kasnije smo prošle do Lucije, samo da se javimo starcima da smo došle doma, ali kasnije smo izašle. Baš smo zločeste! I tako smo naletile na Tukšu, Delača i Šuška, pa putem do benzinske po pljugice i na kraju opet završile kod Lucije. I pogledale smo film. Bio je baš nice… O vražjem sinu kojeg Marija nije htjela gledat jer ju je jako strah. Pa da, njoj bi bilo draže da smo gledale kakav ljubić. Uglavnom, bilo je nadasve zanimljivo. I nekima slabo. Neki su popili cijeli sok, pa drugi nisu imali... I Marija je sama doma u osmome mjesecu. E pa jedva čekam. S mojim djevojkama nikad dosadno!! I da, žao mi je kaj s nama nije bila Dina. Ona se razbolila, pa joj sada šaljem puno, puno pusa. I nadam se da će što prije ozdravit!
I evo vam par slikica. nisam naravno stavljala sve, neke ne znam da li smijem staviti, tj. nisu mi još ljudi koji se nalaze na njima to odobrili...

e da, stavih i jednu pjesmicu...
podsjetila me na tu večer.
a i glumci koji su je proslavili su jako sexy...

utorak, 03.07.2007.

baš sam happy ...

Baš mi se nešto piše novi post. Pa eto, odlučih se javiti. Prvo moram napisati da sam napokon uspjela dobiti što sam htjela! Piercing sam stavila jučer ujutro. Da, to je moja nagrada zbog dobrih rezultata ove godine u školi. Iskreno jako sam se iznenadila kad su mi starci odlučili to dopustiti iako nisam shvaćala gdje je tu problem. No, sad sam happy, napokon…
U srijedu idem u školu, pokupiti svoje papire, obaviti upise u sljedeći razred.
Posao na pumpi je propao, frend je na kraju nešto i zeznuo, al nije da se žalim. Iskreno nekako mi se i nije dalo, mada razmišljajući koliko para sam mogla dobit nije mi svejedno. Sljedeće godine definitivno nešto moram pronaći.
I moram spomenuti petak, Svenov i Velvetov rođendan! Bilo je super, dosta ljudi, svi smo se razveselili, poslije svratili do Zihera. E pa sada još jednom pozdravljam slavljenike!
Dane provodim s Dinicom. Moram je spomenuti. Puno mi olakšava neke probleme i skupa prolazimo kroz sve. Kako su ljudi super glumci! Vjerujte, mislim da bi pojedinci nadmašili vrhunske plaćenike vezane uz to područje! Neke stvari mi se jako gade. Ne mrzim nikoga, ali moram priznati da prema nekima osjećam gađenje, ma i žalim ih. Zar ljudi nemaju više srama? Ili nekakvog dostojanstva za koje vjerujem da svatko posjeduje na određen način?!
E pa uvjerila sam se da je najlakše glumiti žrtvu i uvijek dobiješ što želiš. A ljudi puno stvari ne znaju, vjeruju prvome tko im nešto ispriča. Jadno je to… Ma dok imam nekog kraj sebe kome mogu vjerovati ništa nije bitno. Samo se mogu nadati da će potrajati!

Toliko od mene…
Rudlava