Izgubljen, ja lutam bježeći od prošlosti u koju bih se želio vratiti...
Pozdrav svima. Kao što vidite, još sam živ... makar baš i nisam sav svoj. Izgubljen sam u vremenu i prostoru, sve uvijek ostavljam za zadnji tren 
tak da sam zatrpan u poslu. Nemam baš previše vremena, tako da se nadam da ćete mi oprostiti što sam vas (ne namjerno) zapostavio. Evo jedan mali post koji je nastao za vrijeme jednog šupljeg sata, kad su moje misli opet malo odlutale. Moram priznat da sam imao i boljih ideja, ali nisam ih još uspio zapisati. Možda drugi put. Uživajte.
Hodao sam polako, skriven tamnim velom noći što se spustio nad šumom. Svakim korakom, sitno kamenje škripalo mi je pod čizmama, dok je moja ljevica mlitavo visjela u povezu... Svaki mišić u mome tijelu je gorio, moje tijelo vrištalo je za odmorom, ali duša nije imala mira. Koračao sam dalje… dalje… siguran da ću stići… Ali cilj mi se stalno gubio pred očima.
U daljini, usamljeni vuk pjevao je svoju baladu o boljim vremenima, tiho plačući za svojim drugovima što su ga napustili. Pod budnim okom bijelog Mjeseca, tamne sjene vodile su svoje kolo.
Tragovi razaranja šarali su krajolikom… toliko mržnje, uništenja. Grlo mi se stezalo, srce me boljelo. Pitao sam se koliko je života ugašeno, koliko sudbina uništeno… Koliko će majki večeras plakati za svojim sinovima, koliko će dječice suze proliti za svojim očevima, braćom… koliko djevojaka baš u ovom trenutku sjedi uz prozor, moleći se Onome na nebu. Onome koji je zaboravio svoja stvorenja, prepustivši ih njihovoj ludosti, da izginu u agoniji boli…
Svladan umorom, sjeo sam uz potok što je tiho žuborio. Drveće je tiho šaputalo svoju priču. Pitao sam se, koliko toga je ono u svom stoljetnom životu preživjelo, koliko bitaka je zapamtilo, koliko grijeha svjedočilo…
Nekoć kristalna voda malenog potoka, bila je okaljana krvlju. Dva beživotna trupla ležala su uz obali... Mladić i starac, otac i sin. Očeva utroba bila je rasuta po podu... lice izobličeno od boli u pokušaju da spasi svoga sina... čije je srce raskolila crna strijela.
Nagnuvši se nad potok, ugledao sam blijedo, umorno lice, što me odsutno promatralo iz vode. Činilo mi se tako poznatim… Nekoć mladenačke oči, pune života, sada su izgledale tako mutno, mrtvo. Glatko lice krasio je velik ožiljak, koji zasigurno nikad ne će u potpunosti zacijeliti. Samo na tren, moje misli su odlutale. Učinilo mi se kao da ga ponovno vidim, dom kojeg više nisam imao... ženu koju sam volio... kćer, svoje najveće blago. Sve sam izgubio, zašto sam se još uvijek borio?!
Dvije suze pomutile su potok odnijevši sliku sa sobom. Zdravom rukom posegnuo sam u hladnu vodu želeći ju dohvatiti, zaustaviti... vratiti vrijeme... zadnji put ih zagrliti... reći koliko sam ih volio... još uvijek volim... Glasan vrisak prolomio mi se sa usana. Bez razmišljanja, potrčao sam naprijed, bježeći što sam brže mogao, jureći za snovima koje nisam mogao uhvatiti...
* * *
Ne znajući kud su me noge vodile, koračao sam dalje, sve dalje… Ljudi oko mene, ali ja sam sam. Izgubljen između svjetova, ne pripadajući nijednom... Lutajući između sna i jave u potrazi za krhotinama svojeg bića. Kao što sjena bježi od svijetla, ja bježim od prošlosti, pokušavjući zaboraviti, ali ne mogu. Bol me umara, ja nestajem. Vjetar tiho zove moje ime i ja pratim njegov zov. Ne znajući kud me noge vode, koračam sam dalje, dalje… u svoju propast i odriješenje.
05.06.2007. u 17:59 |
Tell me what you think (116) |
Take my thoughts |
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desing by:
dark sword dancer
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da/ne?
My blog
This is a mirror to my dreams. Enjoy...
My little creations
Moj blog s besplatnim dizajnima. Zavirite ako vas zanima 
Hall of fame
Ljudi, vampiri i druga stvorenja vrijedna pažnje 
Taken by storm
vicious vampire
alice
Beatiful Death
Damian_the_Devil
Lucifer's Curse
hard
†-×° BŁaCk Go†hIc Sis†€r S€p†€mb€r °×-†
-Lonely Death-
Countess Dementia di Santi
no angel
Life
Zoe Jane
Violent Beauty
The black butterfly
Ostalo:
Croatian underground metal/rock/punk
stranica gdje možete pronaći neke odlične hrvatske bendove, zavirite
Blog.hr
mjesto gdje sve počinje...
Forum.hr
odgovori i pitanja na razne teme (više pitanja nego odgovora)
Tutor blog
mjesto na kojem možete naći pomoć i savjet za svoj blog
Image Shack
najbolje mjesto za besplatan upload slika
Trapped in my nightmares
Svakim danom, svakim satom sve se više gubim u ovoj iluziji koju nazivamo svojim postojanjem. Kao sjena bježim pred svijetlom natrag u tamu. Život prolazi pored mene, ne mogu ga zaustaviti. Mogu samo žuriti s vremenom kako ne bi zaostao, zaboravljen. Sve što ostaje iza mene, to su sjećanja. Ona lijepa, ali i ona koja bi svatko od nas najradije zaboravio. Čovjek je smrtan, a time sam i ja. Jednog dana hladna će ruka smrti sve nas povući u grob. Postoji samo jedna stvar koju stvarno moramo, a to je umrijeti...
Gledajući kroz nevina stakla djetinjstva, život nam se čini toliko lijep, pun sreće i radosti, novih avantura... Ali kako odrastamo ta se iluzija polagano raspada i mi počinjemo shvaćati stvarnost. Svi se mi vječno borimo kako bi sebi i svojim voljenima osigurali što ljepši i lakši život. Živimo, patimo i umiremo i za najmanji za trenutak sreće. A ja vas sad pitam, je li vrijedno toliko se boriti za jedan maleni trenutak zadovoljstva? Zar mi moramo toliko patiti, da bismo bili sretni? Na to pitanje još uvijek ne znam dati dovoljan odgovor...
Ipak, nešto sam shvatio. Tek u trenutku spoznaje svoje prolaznosti, čovjek počinje cijeniti ono što ima. Tek u trenutku kad se pomirimo s onim neizbježnim, mi zaista možemo biti sretni.
more information about me (my msn): dark_sword_dancer@hotmail.com
Lyrics
Disturbed: Prayer
Another dream that will never come true
Just to compliment your sorrow
Another life that I've taken from you
A gift to add on to your pain and suffering
Another truth you can never believe
Has crippled you completely
All the cries you're beginning to hear
Trapped in your mind, and the sound is deafening
Let me enlighten you
This is the way I pray
[Chorus:]
Living just isn't hard enough
Burn me alive, inside
Living my life's not hard enough
Take everything away
Another nightmare about to come true
Will manifest tomorrow
Another love that I've taken from you
Lost in time, on the edge of suffering
Another taste of the evil I breed
Will level you completely
Bring to life everything that you fear
Live in the dark, and the world is threatening
Let me enlighten you
This is the way i pray
[Chorus]
Return to me, return to me, return to me, turn to me, leave me no one
Turn to me, return to me, return to me, turn to me, cast aside
Return to me, return to me, return to me, turn to me, leave me no one
Turn to me, return to me, return to me, you've made me turn away
[Chorus Variant:]
Living just isn't hard enough
Burn me alive, inside
Living my life's not hard enough,
They take everything from you
[Chorus]
Iced Earth: Melancholy
Make the sadness go away
Come back another day
For years I've tried to teach
But their eyes are empty
Empty too I have become
For them I must die
A sad and troubled race
An ungrateful troubled place
[chorus]
I see the sadness in their eyes
Melancholy in their cries
Devoid of all the passion
The human spirit cannot die
Look at the pain around me
This is what I cry for
Look at the pain around me
This is what I'll die for
Make the sadness go away
Come back another day
The things I've said and done
Don't matter to anyone
But still, you push me to see
Something, I can never be
Why am I their shattered king?
I don't mean anything
I see the sadness in their eyes
Melancholy in their cries
Devoid of all the passion
The human spirit cannot die
Look at the pain around me
This is what I cry for
Look at the pain around me
This is what I'll die for.
Korn: Alone I Break
Pick me up
Been bleeding too long
Right here, right now
I'll stop it somehow
I will make it go away
Can't be here no more
Seems this is the only way
I will soon be gone
These feelings will be gone
These feelings will be gone
Now I see the times they change
Leaving doesn't seem so strange
I am hoping I can find
Where to leave my hurt behind
All the shit I seem to take
All alone I seem to break
I have lived the best I can
Does this make me not a man?
Cut me off
I'm ready, heart stops
I stand alone
Can't be on my own
I will make it go away
Can't be here no more
Seems this is the only way
I will soon be gone
These feelings will be gone
These feelings will be gone
Now I see the times they change
Leaving doesn't seem so strange
I am hoping I can find
Where to leave my hurt behind
All the shit I seem to take
All alone I seem to break
I have lived the best I can
Does this make me not a man?
Am I going to leave this place?
What is it I'm running from?
Is there nothing more to come?
(Am I gonna leave this place?)
Is it always black in space?
Am I going take its place?
Am I going to win this race?
(Am I going to leave this race?)
I guess God's up in this place?
What is it that I've become?
Is there something more to come?
More to come
Now I see the times they change
Leaving doesn't seem so strange
I am hoping I can find
Where to leave my hurt behind
All the shit I seem to take
All alone I seem to break
I have lived the best I can
Does this make me not a man?
Now I see the times they change
Leaving doesn't seem so strange
I am hoping I can find
Where to leave my hurt behind
All the shit I seem to take
All alone I seem to break
I have lived the best I can
Does this make me not a man?
Iced Earth: The Phantom Opera Ghost
[Y:] I feel you, from beyond the walls you speak to me
[M:] Christine my love Paris now will worship you
You will star soon I'll kill to make it sure for you
[Y:] Oh my love, won't you please show yourself to me
[M:] Soon I'll take you in my kingdom you're the queen.
It's dark and peaceful but my face you'll never see, no
[M:] Oh Christine on this eve I will come for you
[Y:] Erik my love, I've waited all my life for you
Please just take me I need to be with you
[M:] Take my hand, through the catacombs my lair awaits
[Y:] Caverns, mazes, the underworld and the blackest lake.
Enticing danger, your passion feeds me I'm your slave
[Y:] Now I've bathed in fear. I will not leave here
[M:] Breathe deep the darkness. Breathe deep the madness
[Y:] I'm so cold inside. Mental suicide
[M:] Breathe deep the darkness. Breathe deep the sadness
[M:] Oh Christine don't you know it's all for you
Carlotta's head and the other death's I planned.
All for you, to have your night in the spotlight.
From now on forevermore you will only sing for me
[Y:] So you are, you are the legend. The Phantom Opera Ghost
[M:] I am what man has made me. With his hate and cruel ways
[Y:] Why are you?
[M:] Why am I?
[Y&M:] The Phantom Opera Ghost
[Y:] I have to see
[M:] You'll never see
[Y&M:] What's behind the mask
[Y:] I'm so torn between love, death, life, and hate
[M:] Don't you doubt me, what we have is just our fate.
I now own you from this day forth; you'll be my slave
[Y:] Oh Dear God for this life I've lost the will
[M:] No this can't be I'd rather you die than spoil my dream.
Myself I'll kill if I can't have you no one will
Disturbed: Hell
[Intro:]
Rrwoooaaaw!
Ahh, Ahhh
Burning now I bring you Hell!
[Post-Chorus:]
Ahh, Ahhh
Oh, burning now I bring you Hell!
Read me tonight, when the warnings said leave a shudder upon you
Running from all that you feared in your life
Soul of the night, when the sun mislead paint a horror upon you
Marking the moment, displaying in my ghost of a life!
And I can't get round the way you left me out in the open
To leave me to die!
So how can I, forget the way you lead me through the path into Heaven
To leave me behind!
[Chorus:]
Now I can't stay behind
Save me, from wreaking my vengeance
Upon you, to killing more than I can tell
Burning now I bring you Hell!
[Repeat Post-Chorus]
Free me tonight, as the animal kings breathe their terror upon you
Caught in the moment, engaging in my
Bloodlust tonight, now I can't control my venom's flow
Get back from me demon, or be exorcised!
[Repeat Chorus]
All my emotion and all my integrity
All that you've taken from me
All my emotion and all my integrity
All that you've taken from me
Now I can't stay behind
Save me, from wreaking my vengeance
Upon you, to killing more than I can tell
Soul of the night, I know
Now I can't stay behind
Save me, from wreaking my vengeance
Upon you, to killing more than I can tell
Burning now I bring you Hell!
Iced Earth: I Died for You
I can't belive this now
This isn't what I planned
I lived and died and now
I just can't understand
With all the love I feel
I could never leave her
No matter what the cost
My soulds the price to see her
Chorus
Oh how I love you
The pain won't go away
Oh when I need you
You're always so far away
I cry for you
Leaving myself to blame
I died for you
I gave up everything
The pain was just to much
When I finally saw her
She's happy and in love
In love with my best friend
What makes it hurt so bad
Is that I love them both
And they will never know
For love I sold my soul
Repeat Chorus
HIM: Poison Girl
I did it all just for her
I did it all just for her
And love's heart is death
For me and my poison girl
A prey she was for the cruelty of love
While its serpent inside crawled straight towards her heart
The coldest kiss love ceased to exist
While we grew apart like never before
I did it all just for her
I did it all just for her
And love wants us dead
Just me and my poison girl
I did it all just for her
I did it all just for her
And love's heart is death
For me and my poison girl
the fire in her eyes
grew dim and then died
as the poison inside
reached her heart
And the coldest kiss
faith ceased to exist
as we grew apart
like never before
I did it all just for her
I did it all just for her
And love wants us dead
Just me and my poison girl
I did it all just for her
I did it all just for her
And love's heart is death
For me and my poison girl
And the taste of the poison on her lips is of a tomb
I did it all just for her
I did it all just for her
And love wants us dead
Just me and my poison girl
I did it all just for her
I did it all just for her
And love's heart is death
For me and my poison girl
Poison girl [4X]
And love's heart is death
For me and my poison girl
In this poison world...
Iced Earth: Last December
The howling winds blow
On this moonlit night
Eyes locked in fear
With a dark embrace
The bitter cold winds
Freeze the tears that fall
Hands held in grace
As we take the final step
Obsessed with our love
Here is our fate
To need the final call
On this special winter day
A message to our elders
They surely won't forget
Our love must last forever
In death we shall not part
It seems like only yesterday
Our lives together planned
They say it's just a passing phase
We're damned by our youth
Why does no one understand
What we have is real
This is not your average love it's forever
Last December
Mother you have forced us here
Last December
Father now we'll disappear
Last December
One last step we fade away
So we take the final step
Heed the final call
Together we are strong
Divided we must fall
Teenage suicide
Our only way out
Together we might live
Divided we must fall
Last December
Mother you have forced us here
Last December
Father now we'll disappear
Last December
One last step we fade away
Billy Talent:Pins And Needles lyrics
Never understood how she could,
Mean so little to so many
Why does she mean everything to me?
Is it worth the pain, with no one to blame?
For all of my insecurities
How did I ever let you go?
Questioning her good intention
Jealousy's a bad invention
When you push on glass, it's bound to break
Even when she was defensive,
It just gave me more incentive
The more you squeeze, the more it slips away
I never walked so far on a lonely street
With no-one there for me
Is it worth the pain, with no one to blame?
For all of my insecurities
How did I ever let you go?
Accept this confession!
...I'm walking on pins and needles
You're not my possession!
...I'm walking on pins and needles
My conscience is vicious!
...I'm walking on pins and needles
And I'm begging forgiveness!
...I'm walking on pins and needles
I never walked so far on a lonely street,
With no one there for me
It took too long to see her in misery
And now it's clear to me
That it's worth the pain, always take the blame
For all your own insecurities
How did I ever let you go?
Lovex: Anyone anymore
I’m another king and robber
I’m a brother trampling on your dreams
Before they stand in the way of mine
He’s a fighter with a hunger for disaster
A decider chained to the fate of the world
But words are left unheard
Feel the weight on your shoulders
Is there anyone anymore
To slow our fall, yeah
All those people, all that power
Is there anyone anymore
Is there anyone anymore
She’s a lover a true-love mocker
And every dollar she earned at the cost of those
Who believed enough to let it show
In your mirror you will see a winner
A celebrated sinner standing in line with the vain
Those self-appointed modern day saints
Feel the weight on your shoulders
Is there anyone anymore
To slow our fall, yeah
All those people, all that power
Is there anyone anymore
Is there anyone anymore
It’s not about conformity
It’s abuse of individuality
It’s insanity, it’s reality
It’s the promised land of hypocrisy
Feel the weight on your shoulders
Is there anyone anymore
To slow our fall, yeah
All those people, all that power
Is there anyone anymore
Is there anyone anymore...
