Hello.
Hello, sunrise that kills.
Hello, you with the poisonous whisper crawling in my mind.
Hello, my strange world of darkness and mist... and wind.
Hello... You, strange, dark man with the rule over their minds...
I am standing here, in front of you. At the top of the world. With the sunlight burning my skin and my eyes. Nothing matters, does it? I am yours. Take me. Do what you wish... Hold me... And take my soul from me... For the only thing that must be... Is for you to have me... So do it.... In the hall of darkness... Under the sky of violet...
While she carries me on her voice, huskily whispering the eternal melody that keeps me numb under your eyes...
I remember... Like this... When my body was drenched in the waters of wonders. Like this... When I lay floating in the abyss of never-ending emotions that ran deep down into my core... Of the music that hit me deep... I remember the time when I ran away from everything real, into the world of my own, into the world of love and eternity; inventing stories never to be told, imagining them and living them, ignoring the reality, finding it unfitting and boring... I was nothing in the reality, always down on my knees, convincing myself that I was worth nothing since it was made so obvious.
So I flew away... Away... To a different place every time. Different people, different places. I made stories in my mind. Stories never really about me... Beautiful things... Forbidden loves coming true, perfect boys loving girls like me... A true matchmaker did I make myself be.
...Where has it lead me?
What's so bad in dreaming? I asked myself a few years ago. We can make a whole new world come true, and if anything ever goes wrong, we can run there where everything's fine, and just keep doing it and there can't ever be anything wrong, right?
But the real world does not let you have any other worlds beside this one. If you want to live... If you want to be normal... Then it's forbidden. Because, there is no one sharing your world of fantasy. It is yours only and no one will understand the deep dark secrets of your mind. You have to bear with this life, and there is no salvation from it.
I have gone too deep. I have evolved almost everything I am through that false world. And whenever things got too boring or bad, I ran away again, engulfed myself completely in the fantasies I'd created. I even dreamed about the things in the real world, creating out of them whole different things so they could suit me right. And so... I've detached from everything real... Gone to the unexplored widths of my mind, surrounded myself with the warmths that made me feel good. And I have gone too far. Way too far. So far... that I can hardly find my way back... But I must. Reality is waiting. It doesn't call me or pull me into her midst, but it stands there, its eyes fixed on me, and it will not pull back until I come to it. Ever.
It has sent a whiff of its scent to me. I understand now, partially at least, what it is about. Will I fit in? Maybe, eventually. Maybe I already have... With my body tightly held in its place, his scent all around me, his ragged breath and his racing heart...
It seems unreal, though. I am made a person, real person equal to all others. Count in all others. My wishful thinking made true for the first time... Since I first saw him...
His handsome face and blue eyes... Wow... Cute...
His guitar playing... It would be so cool if he could sing...
His eyes on me during every song he sang... Does he like me...?
But I understand that all my dreams of silent comforts, instant understanding and becoming one are foolish dreams that I have thought over a thousand times. Something you find in epic animes or movies that touch your heart, not a reality. I understood it instantly. And understood how deeply my imagination had gone.
Baka no kodomo.
But I shall come back to reality. Maybe I should do it without dramatizing so much, but it will be a sad farewell... Since I've spent so much time in it... Since I have given myself so much to it... To them... My dreams and fantasies...
It's alright, though... I will become normal once again. One of many. Having normal thoughts and feelings... But for these two weeks, I will try to remember my happiness and myself... Before I forget it and build myself again...
Sretna nova 2008. godina svima, i neka vas prate sreæa, zdravlje i neka vam se svi snovi ostvare (i neka bude puno postova i komentara... ^__~)!!!
Mjesto gdje moja malenkost namjerava upisivati što je pukne i kad je pukne i na kojem jeziku je pukne. ;)
~O meni~
Dreams, thoghts, hopes and the spirit of a girl once called Hime-sama... Who wants to be one... Who aspires for her life and being to express elegance and art...
Volim ili obožavam (ili obožavam ili volim):
- more
- anime
- pjevati
- eleganciju
- crtati
- glazbu
- prirodu
- plesati
- svoju obitelj
- pisati
- èitati
- pristojnost
- mjuzikle
- dobre filmove i predstave
- biti na pozornici
- lijepu odjeæu
- lijepu šminku
- Japan
- japanski
- francuski
- grèki
- latinski
- prevoditi
- e-mail
- istinu
- snove
.
.
.
Snovi (stvarni ili nestvarni):
- postati seiyuu
- pjevati kao Amy Lee
- znati japanski skoro kao materinji
- dobro znati francuski
- dug vijek i puno komentara ovog bloga xD
- nepresušan izvor dobrih pjesama
- usavršiti crtanje i bojanje u kompjuterskim programima
- duga jaka lijepa kosa (XD)
- imati klavir za vježbanje
- znati ga svirati xD
- biti sretna
.
.
.
ANIME:
SHOUJO KAKUMEI UTENA!!!
Air
Basilisk
Fruits basket
Sailor Moon
Kimi Ga Nozomu Eien
Super Gals (dijelom)
Koi Kaze
Aa Megami Sama
Reservoir Chronicle Tsubasa (dijelom)
Pokemon (da xDD)
Digimon (još veæi da xDDD)
Digimon Tamers (što reæi?)
Candy Candy
Dragon Ball (dijelom... xDDD)
Nadam se da æe ova lista narasti veelika... :D
MANGA
Mei-chan No Shitsuji
Princess Ai
Tokyo Mew Mew (arigatou, Onee-chan and Dunja-hime!)
Tsubasa Chronicle (dijelom)
Namida Nochi Happi- Endo (Happy End After the Tears)
Shuffle (dijelom)
___________________________________ MUZIKA
All time favorites:
~*~
Ogata Megumi-sama
Evanescence
Anime OP&ED
Jean Michel Jarre
The Phantom of the Opera
~*~
Lijep stil i/ili slušam ponekad:
Velvet Underground
Johnny Cash
Nick Cave
Darko Rundek
Vaya Con Dios
Sinead O'Connor
Om
Pink Floyd
I sve što mi zapne za uho...
___________________________________
I *ahem* to je to :D
MSN: eternal_starlight@mail.inet.hr
___________________________________
C'est le malaise du moment
L'épidémie qui s'étend
La fête est finie on descend
Les pensées qui glacent la raison
Paupières baissées, visage gris
Surgissent les fantomes de notre lit
On ouvre le loquet de la grille
Du taudit qu'on appelle maison
Protect me from what I want
Protect me from what I want
Protect me from what I want
Protect me
Protect me
Protège-moi, protège-moi
Sommes nous les jouets du destin
Souviens toi des moments divins
Planants, éclatés au matin
Et maintenant nous sommes tout seuls
Perdus les reves de s'aimer
Les temps où on avait rien fait
Il nous reste toute une vie pour pleurer
Et maintenant nous sommes tout seuls
Protect me from what I want
Protect me from what I want
Protect me from what I want
Protect me
Protect me
___________________________________
___________________________________
“There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.” Oscar Wilde
“Illusion is the first of all pleasures.” Oscar Wilde
___________________________________
I am stretched on your grave and will lie there forever
If your hands were in mine I'd be sure we'd not sever
My apple tree my brightness, it's time we were together
For I smell of the earth and I'm worn by the weather
When my family thinks that I'm safe in my bed
From night until morning I am stretched at your head
Calling out to the earth with tears hot and wild
My grief for the girl that I loved as a child
Do you remember the night we were lost
In the shade of the blackthorn and the chill of the frost
Oh thanks be to Jesus we did what was right
And your maidenhead still is your pillar of light
The priests and the friars, approach me with dread
Because I still love you, my life and youre dead
I still will be your shelter through rain and through storm
And with you in your cold grave I cannot sleep warm
____________________________________
“I shall go the way of the open sea, To the lands I knew before you came, And the cool ocean breezes shall blow from me, The memory of your name” Laurence Hope
____________________________________
Hisashiburi no kaisei IEROO BODI wa D.I.Y.
Haru no shippo tsukamaeru jyunbi wa OK sa
Yousho ni HANHOKKU ano mori wo mezashiteta hazu ga
"KAANABI" nante ME jyanai! ...mune hattetano wa dare dayo?
Koi nuno youna "GOMEN" no hitomi ni kousansa
Umibe de asonderu RETORIBAA no PORISU ni kikou ka?
AM RAJIO GOKIGEN na sunday yakusoku shite kureteru
Hajikeru youna namishibuki ga bokura no SAUNDO
Shuuni ichido no DEETO sae mama naranu youna futari no
Kiseki no youna kyuujitsu nonbiri kaze makase
Hamabe de shiosai no hizamakura nante no ma ii yo ne
POTTO ni tsumeta koucha wo sarige ni susumeru egao ga
Moshikashitara ichiban haru iro hansoku sa
Umibe de jyarete iru RETORIBAA wo minaratte bokuramo!
MAIPEESU na SHIISAIDO ga HAIUEI tobasu yori niatteru
Masshiro na vacation map kowaki ni kakaete
____________________________________
____________________________________
A boom boom bâ
Kélé, filla, saba, nani, norou
A boom boom bâ
Can you hear my heart beat in this world?
A boom boom bâ
Do you know that behind all these words
A boom boom bâ
Lies a deep desire Kamélé hé?
A boom boom bâ
Mé kouman mé fora y bamê
Are my dreams to be all I can do?
Lay o lay above, lay o lay below
And he said Annie will show them a new way
Mé kouman mé fora y bamê
Kélé, filla, saba, nani, norou
A boom boom bâ
Can you hear my heart beat in this world?
A boom boom bâ
Do you know that behind all these words
A boom boom bâ
Lies a deep desire Kamélé hé?
A boom boom bâ
Mé kouman mé fora y bamê
Are my dreams to be all I can do?
Lay o lay above, lay o lay below
And he said Annie will show them a new way
Mé kouman mé fora y bamê
Kélé, filla, saba, nani, norou
A boom boom bâ
Can you hear my heart beat in this world?
A boom boom bâ
Do you know that behind all these words
A boom boom bâ
Lies a deep desire Kamélé hé?
A boom boom bâ
Mé kouman mé fora y bamê
Kélé, filla, saba, nani, norou
A boom boom bâ
Aligna donguiri ma digné
A boom boom bâ
Mé kouman mé for a y bâmê
A boom boom bâ
Aligna donguiri ma digné hé !
A boom boom bâ
Mé kouman mé for a y bâmê
Kélé, filla, saba, nani, norou
Can you hear my heart beat in this world?
Kélé, filla, saba, nani, norou
Can you hear my heart beat in this world?
Kélé, filla, saba, nani, norou
Can you hear my heart beat in this world?
Kélé, filla, saba, nani, norou …
