it's sharpening beneath me

subota, 13.05.2006.

call out my weaknesses

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...bila bi najsretnija kada bih svemu što osjećam mogla podariti značenje,slikovni prikaz,objasniti riječima...ali ne ide...možda je bolje i tako...kako se to zove?kada si ni živ ni mrtav?...ni tužan ni sretan?...ili kada si razočaran,rastresen...a u istome trenutku pronalaziš jedan mir...jedan trenutak....i sve se mijenja...u 5 minuta oblak može promijeniti svoj oblik....a ljudski osjećaji?...kako biti razočaran a da te opet nije briga...kako plakazi a smijati se?...kako vrištati a opet držati sve u sebi?kako?...moglo bi se reći da sam na to djelomično našla odgovor...jednostavno otupiš....prvo ne uspijeva...i onda odjednom...ništa...apsolutno ništa...volim kontrolu...previše volim kontrolu...a previše mi stvari izmiču iz ruku...i onda i onda...razpčaranje..ništavilo...povremeno i burno izbijanje osjećaja....da bi sve opet utihnulo....oblak se promijenio...priviknuo...i otišao...a ja...ja sam ostala....sama u svojim mislima...i moji osjećaji nestaju kao zadnji tračci sunca...i onda nastupa tama...zastršujuća tama....poppraćena zavijanjem grana i udaljenim bljeskovima s bešivotnog neba...

can’t eat anything
without shoving my hands down my throat
And I refuse to meet the world without smearing on makeup
With my hair blinding my eyes
Oh, blinding my eyes

I can’t remember the last time I’ve seen my own eyes
Or the color of my skin
Do you know what it’s like to feel ugly all the time?

I stretch myself across the world
Pushing my limits
For your entertainment and
You had the nerve
To call out my weaknesses and
drag me through the dirt

I can’t remember the last time I’ve seen my own eyes
Or the color of my skin
Do you know what it’s like to feel ugly all the time?

Ooh
I’m staring in the mirror
Looking back at the person I hate

I can’t remember the last time I’ve seen my own eyes
Or the color of my skin
Do you know what it’s like….

I can’t remember the last time I’ve seen my own eyes
Or the color of my skin
Do you know what it’s like to feel ugly all the time?

Ooh
The color of my skin
Do you know what it’s like to feel ugly all the…
- 20:43 - cut me (192) - write my words with blood - #

petak, 05.05.2006.

I just wanna break you down so badly

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...omgh...smiješno je to kako neki ljudi u životu dobe sve,a drugi ništa...zapravo žalosno je...neki imaju izgled, drugi karizmu,neki oboje, a neki ništa od toga...neki čine zlo, ne mare za druge, gledaju samo svojukorist i sve im u životu ide od ruke....dok se drugi moraju potruditi...a treći...treći su jebeni bakszui kojima ništa ne ide od ruke...i tako uvjek najebu ljudi koji to najmanje zaslužuju...ne znam što je za sreću potrebno...stvarno ne znam...jer kad bi bio samo trud...mogla bih učiniti sve oko sebe uključujući i sebe sretnima...kad bi bila samo volja...ali ne znam...i neće mi pomoći nikakav duh iz boce...nikakva čarobna vila...nikakav čarobnjak...ili napitak...jer nažalost život nije bajka...sa sve se u životu treba krvavo izboriti...i na tom putu je potrebno izgubiti svoju čovječnost, moral...ideale...i postati okrutan...postati takav kakav ovaj svijet uistinu je...a mi...mi koji to ne možemo...mi koji se ne možemo odreći svojih ideala, sebe...mi ćemo uvjek plivati na dnu...zadržati svoje ideale,ali propasti....

You've got this new head filled up with smoke
I've got my veins all tangled close
To the jukebox bars you frequent
The safest place to hide
A long night spent with your most obvious weakness
You start shaking at the thought you are everything I want
'Cause you are everything I'm not

And we lay, we lay together just not
Too close, too close (How close is close enough?)
We lay, we lay together just not
Too close, too close

I just wanna break you down so badly
Well I trip over everything you say
I just wanna break you down so badly
In the worst way

My inarticulate store bought hangover hobby kit
It talks, it says, "You, oh, you are so cool."
"Scissor shaped across the bed, you are red, violent red."
You hollow out my hungry eyes
You hollow out my hungry eyes

And we lay, we lay together just not
Too close, too close (How close is close enough?)
We lay, we lay together just not
Too close, too close

I just wanna break you down so badly
Well I trip over everything you say
Well I just wanna break you down so badly
In the worst way

I just wanna break you down so badly
Well I trip over everything you say
I just wanna break you down so badly
In the worst way (worst way)

I'm gonna make damn sure that you can't ever leave
No, you won't ever get too far from me
You won't ever get too far from me
I'll make damn sure that you can't ever leave
No, you won't ever get too far from me
You won't ever get too far from me
You won't ever get too far from me
You won't ever get too far...

I just wanna break you down so badly
Well I trip over everything you say
Well I just wanna break you down so badly
In the worst way (worst way)

I'm gonna make damn sure
I just wanna break you down so badly
I just wanna break you down so badly (damn sure)
In the worst way (worst way)
- 12:31 - cut me (8) - write my words with blood - #