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Sestra ima dva trogodišnja sina koje malo tko može raspoznati iako su dvojjajčani blizanci. Najveća razlika je u karakterima. Dustin je macho šarmer, a Jason nespretan stidljivko. Dustin osvaja ljude (osobito cure) na prvi pogled, a Jason je iskren i jednostavan pa ga ljudi teško razumiju. Dustin je večeras skočio u krilo nepoznate bake i rekao joj 'Bako, ja te volim'. Na to se baka rastopila od nježnosti pa ga je mazila i nosala cijelo večer. Na to je sestra rekla: jao ženskima koje budu s tobom! Jer iza te ljupkosti i zavodljivosti krije se čvrst i tvrdoglav macho karakter kojeg roditelji nikako ne uspijevaju ukrotiti. Jason je puno mirniji karakter i s njim nikad nema problema. Roditelji su zabrinuti zbog njegove mirnoće i povučenosti.

Ono što impresionira jest da su ova dva trogodišnjaka blizanci! Nevjerojatno je kako su toliko različiti u karakterima. S obzirom da rastu i razvijaju se u istom okruženju, očito je da su njihovi geni odgovorni za njihove karakterne razlike. Zar je moguće da geni definiraju kvalitete koje sam opisao? Nevjerojatno!

To me dovodi do razmišljanja o sebi samome. Jason je svakako povukao iste gene koje ima i njegov stric. Uvijek sam zamišljao da je moj karakter rezultat odgoja, međutim, sad uviđam da su geni imali veći utjecaj nego što sam ikad mogao pomisliti. Sad razmišljam da li moje nastojanje da budem drugačiji uopće ima smisla? Ima li se smisla boriti sa karakternim osobinama koje su nam urođene?

"Ako želim ići iz Splita u Dubrovnik tada nije dobro da idem autoputem za Zagreb. Nema ništa loše s cestom za ZG, zapravo ona je fantastična, ali neće me dovesti tamo gdje idem. Tako je i s ljubavlju i ljudskim odnosima, nema ništa loše u ničemu. Ima samo ono što će nas dovesti tamo gdje želimo ići i ono što neće (ili će potrajati duže). Ako želim kvalitetan odnos ispunjen ljubavlju i poštovanjem i uzajamnom brigom, potporom i mirom tada neću švrljati okolo, pogotovo ako bi to povrijedilo i uznemirilo drugoga. Ako mi se ne da gnjaviti s tuđim stavovima i razmišljanjima i želim se samo lijepo opustiti i zabaviti par puta tjedno onda neću ni ulaziti u građenje odnosa."

Toliko mudrosti iz pera jednog neznanca, čovjeka kojeg nisam nikad vidio ni upoznao, nego s kojim sam se tek prije par dana počeo dopisivati. U početku obično jako precijenim ljude, zato neću Johna uopće ocjenjivati. Reći ću samo da je jako interesantan korespondent.

Iz ovih njegovih riječi postaje mi jasnije ponašanje Pedra i Micka koji ne žele švrljati jer se žele posvetiti jednoj osobi i izgrađivati odnos s njom. Ja sam još daleko od te faze. Zapravo se nalazim negdje između težnje za dubljim odnosom i težnje za neobaveznom zabavom. Nerijetko su te dvije težnje suprostavljene pa ponekad prevlada jedna a ponekad druga.

"Kada ulazimo u odnos s nekim preuzimamo veliki dio odgovornosti za drugu osobu. Ako znamo da će ih nešto povrijediti i onda to svjesno činimo tada smo odgovorni ako ih povrijedimo. Bolje je onda na vrijeme izaći iz odnosa bez povrjeđivanja. Nema razloga mučiti jedno drugo."

Odlučujem se usredotočiti na drugu težnju za zabavom (koliko mi god to bude bilo moguće) dok mi ne dosadi i ne budem spreman za nešto dublje i kvalitetnije.

By Andrew Sullivan
The one consolation that gay Catholics have long had is that the church hates only sin, not sinners. Yes, many of us are far from perfect, and like most married, heterosexual Catholics, we have been known to have sex without making a baby. But we were, as the Vatican assured us in official documents in 1975 and '86, "made in the image and likeness of God." The condition of homosexuality was, for many, "innate" and not in itself a sin. Gay people were "often generous and giving of themselves," said the Vatican, and the notion that gays could not lead celibate lives was an "unfounded and demeaning assumption." The bar on any gay sexual intimacy was still firm--but it was the same bar that prohibited heterosexual couples from using contraception, or single people from masturbating, or any other nonprocreative sexual act. It was a coherent, if difficult, doctrine--and not bigotry.

In this confined and often suffocating place, it was still possible, though never easy, to breathe the love of God as a gay Catholic. Our love of the church helped us overlook its institutional rejection of the relationships we built and the families who embraced us as equals. For many of us, the presence of gay priests also gave immense comfort. Of my three confessors in adult life, all turned out to be gay, although I had no idea in advance. I have known many gay priests, and I'm in awe of their service--to the poor and needy, to the lonely and uneducated, to prisoners and parishioners who have all found grace through their ministry and sacrifice. Often, their outsider experience helped them relate better to the marginalized or the lonely or those taken for granted.

Recall the image of Mychal Judge, the chaplain for New York City's firefighters, carried away from the World Trade Center in the arms of the brave men he ministered to. Judge, a proudly gay man, gave his life for those he served. Under new rules from Pope Benedict XVI issued last week, Father Judge would never have been ordained. Nor would thousands of other gay priests and bishops and monks and nuns who have served God's people throughout the ages.

In the past, all that mattered for a priest, as far as sexual orientation was concerned, was celibacy. If a priest kept his vows, it didn't really matter if he were refusing to have sex with a man or with a woman. All that mattered was that he kept his vows and had sex with no one.

But that has just changed. Even if a gay priest remains completely celibate, his sexual orientation is now regarded, according to a Vatican expert, as a threat to "priestly life." A gay celibate priest, according to the new rules, is incapable of "sexual maturity coherent with his masculine sexual identity." He has "a problem in the psychic organization" of his sexuality, barring him from priestly responsibility. Gay seminarians can be spotted and rooted out because they allegedly have "trouble relating to their fathers; are uncomfortable with their own identity; tend to isolate themselves; have difficulty in discussing sexual questions; view pornography on the Internet; demonstrate a deep sense of guilt; or often see themselves as victims." No serious psychological data are provided to verify those assertions (and many would surely apply to countless heterosexuals as well). What the new Pope has done is conflate a sin with an identity. He has created a class of human beings who, regardless of what they do, are too psychologically and thereby morally "disordered" to become priests.

There is a simple principle here. The message of Jesus was always to ignore the stereotype, the label, the identity--in order to observe the soul beneath, how a person actually behaves. One of his most famous parables was that of the Good Samaritan, a man who belonged to a group despised by mainstream society. But it was the despised man who did good, while all the superficially respected people walked on by. Jesus consorted with all of society's undesirables--with tax collectors, collaborators with an occupying power, former prostitutes, lepers. His message was that God's grace knows no boundaries of stigma, that with God's help, we can all live by the same standards and receive the grace that comes from his love.

The new Pope has now turned that teaching on its head. He has identified a group of people and said, regardless of how they behave or what they do, they are beneath serving God. It isn't what they do that he is concerned with. It's who they are. They are the new Samaritans. And all of them are bad.

GWM: nice photos
HotCouple: thanks...;-)
GWM: you are really together for 10 yrs???
HotCouple: actually 13 now......
GWM: oh wow. how does that work?
HotCouple: very well actually
GWM: what's your secret?
HotCouple: we enjoy each others company
GWM: I'm impressed. At your age (33), being in a relationship for 13 years... you just don't see that very often.
HotCouple: thats true but there are a few of us around...;-)
GWM: and a lot more others who wish to be in the club :-)))
HotCouple: i'm sure....we have many friends who have been together just as long and longer
GWM: I have a question. Of all of those people you know, how many are in open relationships? How does it work for you?
HotCouple: well we're monogamous but have played with a 3rd but not too often it can be exciting....though ;-)
GWM: I know, I've been a 3rd once and it was fun :-) It must be fun for the guest :-))
HotCouple: so I'm told.......I don't think they were disappointed.
GWM: But I recently broke up with my bf because I am not ready to be in a monogamous relationship. He couldn't stand the idea. I guess everybody's different.
HotCouple: yes we are
GWM: I came out less than 2 yrs ago. Maybe I'll change with time... or not?
HotCouple: you have a few Oats to Sew!
GWM: Haven't heard that before. (English second language) what does it mean?
HotCouple: strong sex drive
GWM: Hm... my bf had a strong sex drive too, but...
HotCouple: well when you first come out its like being in a candy store
GWM: Sex and love for him were completely tied together. And I can love one person and have sex with another and still be committed to the first. Does that make any sense?
HotCouple: yes
GWM: I don't understand his point of view. We discussed it so much with no success. What is your opinion of that?
HotCouple: well your not able to give him what he needs.........that is a monogamous relationship..he needs the security of having only one person right now
GWM: right now?
HotCouple: yes
GWM: you mean he may change later?
HotCouple: yes everyone changes after a while....everyone seems to want the security of a relationship without the commitment of monagamy
HotCouple: in other words have a lover but beable to fuck other people
GWM: what about you and your partner?
HotCouple: we play together when we do
GWM: IC. Thanks for the chat and for sharing your experience.
HotCouple: anytime

Prošle su godine, ja sam već dugo bio u Americi a on u Hrvatskoj. Ali on je i dalje ostao u mom srcu. Sanjao sam ga noću kao i u studentskim danima. Maštanja o njemu navečer su me uspavljivala a ujutro uzbuđivala u toplom krevetu.

Prilikom jednog posjeta Hrvatskoj, otišli smo zajedno na izlet. Pri povratku me obuzela toplina oko srca pa sam se raspričao o sebi i njemu, našim životima i kako utječemo jedan na drugog. Na vrh jezika mi je bilo da mu kažem: ti si mi u snovima otkad smo se upoznali. A tome je bilo više od šest godina. Ali hrabrosti nije bilo. Ono bitno nisam rekao, samo sam ga zbunio svojom pričom.

A onda se pojavio Fabian, ja sam konačno izišao iz ormara i iz svoje sumorne stvarnosti otvorio se kao cvijet u proljeće. Još jedan posjet Hrvatskoj, i još jedan susret s prijateljem. Osjećaji za njega su minuli jer sam svu svoju energiju usmjerio na Fabiana. S obzirom da više nisam osjećao ništa prema njemu, nije trebalo puno hrabrosti da mu kažem. Morao sam to konačno izbaciti iz sebe. Priznao sam mu, ne da sam bio zaljubljen u njega, nego da sam u vezi s muškarcem. Primio je to odlično, i podržao me kao najbolji prijatelj. Ali bilo je očito da još nije povezao stvari. Nije skužio da je on bio predmet mojih žudnji i mokrih noćnih snova.

Od tada je prošlo dugo vremena. Udaljili smo se jedan od drugog i rijetko komuniciramo. Pitam se, da li je ipak shvatio, da li je posložio kockice u svojoj glavi? Da li mu je postalo jasno da sam ga toliko dugo i tako žarko volio? Da li mu je postalo jasno da takva odanost i ljubav ne postoji u običnom prijateljstvu?

Otišli smo u kino pogledati nadarenog gospodina Ripleya, moj najbolji prijatelj i ja. U studentskim danima znali smo ići u kino više puta tjedno. Uživali smo gubeći se zajedno u maštovitom filmskom svijetu. Izlazak s njim u kino uvijek je bio poseban doživljaj.

Nadareni gospodin Ripley je fantastičan film. Ali gledajući ga zajedno s mojim najboljim prijateljem, počeo me oblijevati hladan znoj. U ponašanju gospodina Ripleya prepoznao sam sebe i moj odnos prema njemu. Toliko sličnih situacija, toliko istih reakcija... bio sam siguran da će on u meni prepoznati svog gospodina Ripleya.

Trema me obuzimala sve više kako se film bližio kraju. Ali bez razloga. Prijatelj ništa nije povezao niti posumnjao. Sve je bilo tako očito, ali misao da je osoba koju toliko cijeni i s kojom voli provoditi vrijeme zaljubljena u njega jednostavno nije bila ni u njegovoj najluđoj mašti. Ja sam mu bio najprivrženiji prijatelj i najvjerniji pratilac, a što se iza toga skrivalo nije mogao ni naslutiti.

Jack wakes up at home with a huge hangover he can't believe. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirin next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose!

Jack sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. Jack looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror, and notices a note on the table: "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping--Love you!"

He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks "Son...what happened last night?" "Well, you came home after 3 am, drunk and out of your mind. You broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door."

"So, why is everything in such perfect order, so clean, I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?"

His son replies, "Oh THAT! Mum dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your trousers off, you screamed, "Leave me alone, you tart, I'm married!

Broken furnitureŁ 85.26
Hot Breakfast Ł 4.20
Red Rose bud Ł 3.00
Two Aspirins Ł 0.38

Saying the right thing, at the right time......... Priceless...

When something goes wrong, do you bounce back or do you fall apart? People with resilience harness inner strengths and tend to rebound more quickly from a setback or challenge, whether it's a job loss, an illness or the death of a loved one. In contrast, people who are less resilient may dwell on problems, feel victimized, become overwhelmed and turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as substance abuse. They may even be more inclined to develop mental health problems. Resilience won't necessarily make your problems go away. But it can give you the ability to see past them, find some enjoyment in life and handle future stressors better. If you aren't as resilient as you'd like, you can teach yourself to become more resilient.

Resilience means adapting to stress, adversity
Resilience is the ability to adapt well to stress, adversity, trauma or tragedy. It means that, overall, you remain stable and maintain healthy levels of psychological and physical functioning in the face of disruption or chaos.
If you have resilience, you may experience temporary disruptions in your life when faced with challenges. For instance, you may have a few weeks when you don't sleep as well as you typically do. But you're able to continue on with daily tasks, remain generally optimistic about life and rebound quickly.
Resilience offers protection for you — and your family — against developing such conditions as depression, anxiety or post-traumatic stress disorder. Actively working to promote your mental well-being is just as important as protecting yourself from such physical conditions as heart disease and diabetes. Resilience may help offset certain risk factors that make it more likely that you'll develop a mental illness, such as lack of social support, being bullied or previous trauma.

Steps to improve your resilience
Don't worry if your resilience ratings weren't as high as you'd hoped or expected. It's not too late to nurture resilience in yourself. Here are some tips to help you become more resilient:
Get connected. Build strong, positive relationships with family and friends, who can listen to your concerns and offer support. Get involved in civic groups, faith groups or volunteer organizations that give you an opportunity to help others. Relationships like these can also fulfill your need for a sense of belonging and help banish loneliness.
Use humor and laughter. Remaining positive or finding humor in distressing or stressful situations doesn't mean you're in denial. Humor is a helpful coping mechanism. If you simply can't find humor in your situation, turn to other sources for a laugh, such as a funny book or movie.
Learn from your experiences. Recall how you've coped with hardships in the past, either in healthy or unhealthy ways. Build on what helped you through those rough times and don't repeat actions that didn't help. Figure out what lessons you learned and how you'll apply them when faced with similar situations.
Remain hopeful and optimistic. When you're in the middle of a crisis, it may seem as though things will never get better. While you can't change the events, look toward the future, even if it's just a glimmer of how things might improve. Find something in each day that signals a change for the better. Expect good results. Believing things happen for a reason may help sustain you.
Take care of yourself. Tend to your own needs and feelings, both physically and emotionally. This includes participating in activities and hobbies you enjoy, exercising regularly, getting plenty of sleep, and eating a well-balanced diet.
Accept and anticipate change. Be flexible. Change and uncertainty are part of life. Try not to be so rigid that even minor changes upset you or that you become anxious in the face of uncertainty. Expecting changes to occur makes it easier to adapt to them, tolerate them, and even welcome them.
Work toward goals. Do something every day that gives you a sense of accomplishment. It doesn't have to be a major goal, such as getting the college degree you've been meaning to pursue. Even small, everyday goals are important, such as finishing a work project or making a difficult phone call. Having goals helps direct you toward the future.
Take action. Don't just wish your problems would go away or try to ignore them. Chances are, they won't disappear on their own. Instead, figure out what needs to be done, make a plan to do it, and then take action to resolve your problems.
Learn new things about yourself. Look back on past experiences and think about how you've changed as a result. You may be stronger than you thought. You may have gained a new appreciation for life. If you feel worse as a result of your experiences, think about what changes could help. Also explore new interests, such as taking a cooking class or visiting a museum.
Think better of yourself. Congratulate yourself for enduring hard times, loss or stress. Be proud of yourself. Trust yourself to solve problems and make sound decisions. Think positive thoughts about yourself. Nurture your self-confidence and self-esteem so that you feel you're a strong, capable and self-reliant person who can withstand hardships and criticism. This will give you a sense of control over events and situations in your life and confidence in your ability to manage them well.
Maintain perspective. This doesn't mean comparing your situation to that of somebody you think may be worse off. Comparing yourself to someone else may only make you feel worse or feel guilty. Rather, look at your situation in the larger context of your own life, and of the world. Keep a long-term perspective and know that your situation can improve if you actively work to make it better.
Becoming resilient is an individual experience. Adapt these tips for your own situation, keeping in mind what has and has not worked for you in the past.
If you don't feel you're making the kind of progress you'd like or you just don't know where to start, consider talking to a mental health professional about developing resilience. You don't have to have a specific mental disorder to talk to a mental health professional. With their guidance, you can promote positive mental well-being.

Postao sam pravi psihotarapeut za moje bliske prijatelje koji mi zaista povjeravaju svašta. Valjda zbog moje spremnosti da im pomognem i onda kad ih većina drugih ljudi iznevjeri. Pedro, nakon prekida s Markom, postao je skoro pa stalni kućni prijatelj. Svako drugo večer je tu jer mu se ne da biti sam kod kuće. Eric, kojeg petorica prijatelja nisu htjeli otići pokupiti u zatvor, našao je novog najboljeg prijatelja u meni pa na mene istresa svoje depresije i probleme s alkoholom. I Mick se, bar jedno vrijeme, u nedostatku prijatelja za razgovor, sa svojim tegobama obraćao uglavnom meni. Ne smeta mi to, dapače, drago mi je pomoći ljudima i pružiti im uho za slušanje i rame za plakanje. Samo bih volio kad bi to povjeravanje moglo biti malo više dvosmjerno. Umjesto toga, ja plaćam tarapeuta kojemu mogu reći baš sve. Ali ne žalim. Reggie mi je toliko pomogao da je vrijedio svaki dolar.

Seks je definitivno najbolji sa voljenom osobom, složili smo se Eric i ja. Ispričao mi je kako je sa svojim prvim partnerom u kojeg je bio ludo zaljubljen imao najbolji seks ikada. Mnogobrojni partneri koji su uslijedili nisu bili ni približno dobri kao Steve.

Tokom svoje prve veze, Eric je otputovao u dvomjesečni posjet kući. Steve mu je jako nedostajao, pričali su telefonski više puta svaki dan. Sa sobom je ponio Steveov cock ring da ga podsjeća na partnera. Nosio ga je na ruci kao narukvicu. Kad sam to čuo prasnuo sam u smijeh. A tek kad mi je rekao kako su ga obitelj i rodbina ispitivali što je to. I kako je dao baki da pogleda čudnu narukvicu... Ajme!

According to Dr. Phil, the biggest challenge people who have experienced loss will deal with is getting their minds around what they are facing. If you are in the grieving process, you can expect to go through these four stages:

1. Shock: Feeling numb. You may wake up wondering, "Is this real?"


2. Denial: Being unable to accept the situation. You may find yourself thinking, "This can't be happening. It's not real." ?"


3. Anger: Wanting to lash out at everyone. You may continually ask, "How can this happen?" ?"


4. Resolution: Feeling like there is a way past the grief, an end to the sadness. You may say to yourself, "I will get through this."

During the grieving process, you may feel like you are on an emotional roller coaster ride, but things will get better if you allow yourself to heal. Dr. Phil suggests that you keep the following in mind:

Accept the things that you can't control.
"There's something that's happened in the evolution of life in our current society that leads us to arrogantly believe that we run this world — and we don't," says Dr. Phil. "We've got to be accepting of those things we don't control."

Find meaning to your suffering.
Don't allow yourself to be devastated for no reason, no meaning and no purpose. "You've got to create some value to the pain that you experience in your life," advises Dr. Phil. "It may be nothing more than helping those who are further back down the trail than you are. It is a process. It is an evolution. If you use your pain and what you've been through in your life, it won't seem to [be] such nonsense."

There's no question that breakups can be painful, and that it's difficult to trust and love again. But there are ways to get past the pain. Here is some of Dr. Phil's advice for healing the heartbreak.

• In time, it is absolutely vital to put the pain behind you and move forward with your life and love. Otherwise, you are giving away your power to the people who hurt you.


• Sometimes the relationship you need to rescue is the one with yourself. Moving past a breakup is about you, not your ex.


• Don't start thinking about being friends right away — if ever. You have to be your own friend first.


• Grief is a process to go through, not a destination in which to wallow. In a process, you keep putting one foot in front of the other, and each little step is part of your healing.


• Define your real intentions. Are you trying to move past the breakup, or are you hoping to get back with your ex? You won't move on until you've accepted that the relationship is over.


• Be careful about the language you use. When you use catastrophic terms like "nightmare," "terrible," and "horrible," you're bound to spend time dwelling on the negative. Focus on what you can do.


• Sometimes you can't get over being hurt until you know you've been heard. Give yourself permission to express your anger and sadness.


• Don't embarrass yourself or put yourself in a situation where you'll look back and feel humiliated. Driving past your ex's house, making dozens of phone calls or e-mailing non-stop is no way to let go of the past or come out with your head high.


• Learn to trust again. Whenever you get involved in a relationship, you know there's a risk. Don't let a bad experience keep you from living your life to the fullest. You can go through life suspicious, or loving and laughing.

Osjećam se jako udobno u njegovom zagrljaju. Volim čvrsti stisak njegovih ruku oko mog struka i miris njegove kose. Tako je divno sklupčati se uz nekoga u toplom krevetu u zimsko doba.

Ima samo jedan problem – ne radi se o osobi koju bih želio imati pored sebe, nego o prijatelju koji je, kao i ja, upravo izgubio voljenu osobu. Stisnuti jedan uz drugog glumimo ljubav, nadomještamo jedan drugome nekoga drugoga. Tako je čudan osjećaj biti u zagrljaju s njim kad znam da prema njemu ništa ne osjećam i ne pada mi na pamet da prelazim granice prijateljstva (to se može desiti samo kad se obojica dobro napijemo). I premda sam sebe zbunjujem ovom situacijom, osjećaj blizine drugog ljudskog bića, pa bio on i prijatelj, ipak je srcu ugodan.

Nevjerojatno je kako u trenucima najvećeg beznađa, kad nigdje ne vidimo izlaza, iznenada se odnekud pojavi rješenje, ukaže nam se sunce, upali svjetiljka. Odnekud pronađemo hrabrosti i snage pa razbijemo barijere koje nas sputavaju i izađemo iz ljuske jači, bolji i odrasliji. Često time iznenadimo i sebe i ljude oko sebe.

Pedro je još jednom otputovao u Ohio svom Marku, ali Mark je i dalje ostao vjeran svom Willu. Pedru je bilo jako teško neprestano slušati priče o Willu i povlačiti se u drugu sobu dok Mark razgovara s Willom preko Interneta. Mark je odlučio upoznati Pedra s članovima obitelji. A oni su ga preduhitrili pitanjem: "Stigao je tvoj prijatelj Will s Filipina?" Ne zna samo rodbina za Willa. Čak je i konobarica u jednom restoranu pitala Marka da li je mu je to stigao prijatelj Filipinac. Dok ga je vozio na aerodrom, Mark je pitao Pedra zašto je često neraspoložen i šutljiv. Pedro je nastojao izbjeći odgovor. Izlazeći sa autoputa pročitao je naziv ulice: Will Street! Niti jedan trenutak nije mogao proći da ga netko ili nešto ne podsjeti na Willa. Stigavši kući, Pedro se mučio tri dana dok nije smogao snage napisati pismo u kojemu Marku objašnjava da ne može više podnositi svoju situaciju i da je s njima gotovo. Nakon toliko vremena, ipak je uspio napraviti pravu stvar. Tako sam ponosan na njega!

Reuben je smogao snage poslati e-mail Leongu i objasniti mu da se u Californiju ne bi trebao vratiti zbog njega ili bilo koga drugoga, nego jedino radi sebe samoga. Objasnio mu je svoju situaciju te da nije spreman za vezu. Leong je uzvratio da se vraća zbog svoje karijere te da se nada da će s Reubenom ostati dobar prijatelj. Reubenu je nakon ovoga laknulo. Iako mu je godila pažnja koju mu Leong posvećuje, i s njim se jako dobro zabavljao, morao je biti iskren s njim i objasniti mu da ozbiljnija veza s njim ne dolazi u obzir.

Eric je ovaj vikend završio u zatvoru zbog vožnje pod utjecajem alkohola. Pokupio sam ga ispred zatvora nakon što je tamo proveo cijeli dan. Morao je netko doći po njega jer tokom vikenda nije mogao preuzeti zaplijenjeni automobil. Na putu kući priznao mi je da ima problema s alkoholom i da se ne može kontrolirati. Iznenadio me kad mi je priznao da je alkoholičar, to za njega nikad ne bih rekao. Nakon duljeg razmišljanja zaključio je da alkoholom liječi svoje depresije. Zakazao je posjet liječniku da se posavjetuje u vezi depresije. Također je odlučio početi posjećivati lokalni AA (Alcoholics Anonymous). Drago mi je da mu je ova nezgoda otvorila oči i da pokušava nešto po tom pitanju poduzeti.

A ja sam, nakon toliko mučenja i odugovlačenja, učinio jedinu logičnu i razumnu stvar. Reggie i Basilio mi kažu da je dobro da sam bio iskren i realan. I ja se lakše osjećam bez tereta koji me je mučio. Ali zašto iskrenost i realnost moraju istovremeno prouzročiti toliku bol???

Prošla su tri duga i turobna dana. Njegova šutnja me je ubijala. Nakon tri dana, Mick se ipak javio dugim i potresnim pismom. Teško mi ga je bilo čitati, ali sam istovremeno osjećao veliku radost zato jer se javio. To mi je ujedno dalo snage da nastavim pisati.