nedjelja, 22.01.2006.
MGS Film!!!!
Ipak su Konami-evi PR odobrili da se pravi MGS film.Kojima nece raditi na projekri ali evo neki scenariji koji su ponudili reziseri:(na engleskom su mrzime da prevodim)
The Konami Scenario
If Square's initial foray into feature films taught us anything, it's that videogame makers should also make movies 'cause they're really good at it. They know just how much money to spend and they totally know how to completely ignore all the settings, stories and characters in their history even better than an outside company would!
I'm envisioning a live-action/animated hybrid wherein Tom Cruise as Snake and **** CG monkeys from Ape Escape team up to stop an evil toy manufacturer-cum-terrorist from using thousands of wee Metal Gears cleverly disguised as mech action figures to bring nuclear devastation to homes across America during the holiday season.
Co-starring Meryl Streep as the voice of the wee Metal Gears and Dakota Fanning as the moppet who teaches the wee Metal Gears (which have now assembled into one hulking Metal Gear) the human traits of love and empathy.
The Peter Jackson Scenario
At approximately seven hours long (22 hours long on the special edition DVD) this auteuriffic version has it all--romance, action, pathos and more, all played on the most epic of epic scales.
And, of course, the part of the Metal Gear will be played by a mo-capped Andy Serkis, who also brilliantly brings to life Meryl, Revolver Ocelot and Snake's mullet.
Check out the bonus DVD, which features a ping pong ball-coated Serkis showing his technique for playing a mullet flowing majestically as the wind rushes through it, a mullet whipping defiantly around a corner after Snake, and a mullet when it's pulled into a ponytail, so Snake can wash his face.
The Robert Rodriguez Scenario
First, Rodriguez sits down and plays through Metal Gear Solid--recording his every move on tape.
Then, he painstakingly recreates every single minute of that action shot-for-shot, down to the pauses for potty breaks, the parts where he ends up playing sections over and over again until he makes it through, and the 10 minutes he spent playing as Snake in the cardboard box when he didn't really have to, but goddamnit it's funny when he's in that cardboard box.
The Bryan Singer Scenario
Black, relatively shiny snakeskin leather clothes for Snake--down to the headband. The best worst mullet ever to appear on screen. A really **** pair of boots with buckles all over 'em. Sweet new belt buckle of a giant silver snake, fangs beared, ciggy hanging out of its mouth--of course, the snake has a mullet and a headband, too.
Oh and the movie is relatively faithful to the source material, otherwise. Maybe even more gravitas tossed in, if you can believe it.
The George Lucas Scenario
Sweet digital effects and...man those were some sweet digital effects. I mean you hardly notice how stilted the dialogue is. OH MAN DID YOU SEE THOSE EFFECTS? That city? That Metal Gear? That cigarette? They don't exist man. They never existed. Man those are good digital effects.
Sheesh I thought that guy was a good actor. AWWWW damn that Metal Gear looks **** KILLER. I want me one of those. I would blow your ass UP. I'd be all bam bam bam **** you're DEAD. Was that a goddamn wipe? What is this, 1933? Awwww **** look at that explosion. I want me a Metal Gear. Do they make LEGOS of this ****?Because the man is trying to say in interviews that he's been approached to direct the film, which, c'mon, couldn't possibly be the case...or could it?
As in the magnificent House of the Dead (*), Boll's Metal Gear Solid would contain actual game footage--probably of Snake's Codec. We're talkin' the very same graphics, pulled right from the game. Every time Snake is contacted on his radio, you'd suddenly be transported directly to the game that inspired the movie, and you'd get some of those choice bits of nonsensical dialogue and the cheesy jokes.
And maybe you'd also be reminded of how absurd fanboys are being when they act like this **** is sacred, to see some of it right there on the damn screen, next to the movie that's supposedly pissing on the game's brilliant source material (*)(*). Oh hell, did I just type that out loud? Here comes the hate mail!
The Fantasy Scenario
Realizing that a videogame, no matter how many hours of cutscenes it has, still does not honestly contain all the right elements for a movie, a smart studio hires a plucky young writer who "gets" both videogames and film to put together a screenplay that works both as an adaptation of the Metal Gear license and as a movie even if the viewer has never heard of Metal Gear Solid before.
The basic outline of the story is the same, as are most of the major characters, but things are changed a bit to make the whole thing fit into 90 minutes without boring or confusing anyone. There is a funny moment where Snake is coming up behind a guard and makes a bit too much noise. The guard, paused under a poster or sign of some sort, appears, for those who know where to look, to have an exclamation point over his head.
The movie is released with a marketing campaign that gives out just enough info--Snake, what a Metal Gear is, the suspense elements of stealth--but not so much info that you don't have to see the movie at all, and the trailer doesn't focus solely on the action scenes or the actress playing Meryl's breasts. The movie makes a decent amount of money, and studios finally see how to translate videogames to film.
Yeah, that'll never happen.
(*) It's true, the best parts of House of the Dead come when the director inserts, for what appear to be artistic reasons, actual game footage into the movie at seemingly random intervals. People have been known to squeal with delight the first time they see it--it's just that good. It's like movie, movie, movie, movie, movie, movie, movie, movie, movie, movie, aplitsecondofgreenzombiesfromthegamebeingshot movie movie movie...oh yes, that's some good **** right there, boy.
(*)(*)Yes, in this article the author, who is me, basically says that comic books are sacred text that should not be messed with lightly. But um, comic books really do have more story, character development, etc. etc. than videogames do.
Filmove koje sam gledao:
Unbreacable,Lord of War,red Eye to je sve sada trebam da odgledam dva filma na kojem su pomagali Badalmanti i Lynch Donnie Darko i dead Endako neko nesto zna o ovim filmovima nek kaze!!!
