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Break ups can be one of the most challenging things to deal with. In many ways, they can make you feel like your life has come to a screeching stop. Here are 3 simple things you can do to bounce back after a break up. Did you recognize the signs your girlfriend is cheating or […]

The post 3 Ways to Bounce Back After a Break Up appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(4490) "

Break ups can be one of the most challenging things to deal with. In many ways, they can make you feel like your life has come to a screeching stop. Here are 3 simple things you can do to bounce back after a break up.

Did you recognize the signs your girlfriend is cheating or what is worse did you just get dumped and you’re feeling a bit down?

First, of all I want you to know that I’ve been there myself, and even though the pain you’re experiencing may seem unbearable, you’re not alone in all this.

But how can you get back on your feet and enjoy life again when it’s nearly impossible to keep yourself together through the day?

Well, here are three things that can help you bounce back after a break up.

1. First, Cut All Contact with Your Ex.

It’s going to really slow down your healing if you are constantly in touch with your ex.  Those wounds will just get reopen every time you two fight or you find out some news about how they are dating someone already.

Give yourself a real chance to recover by cutting your ex out of your life, at least for now.  A good rule of thumb is to stay away from them for about one month.

I understand that you may not be able to cut all contact with your ex, especially if the two of you work together or go to school together.  If that’s the case, limit the contact as much as possible and keep it strictly professional.

2. Second, Realize This Comes From You

There’s no doubt about it, these negative feelings you’re going through are coming from YOU.  If you’re feeling bad right now, it is because you are focusing your mind on the negative parts of life.

You could just as easily focus on the positive things in life.  You’re healthy, you’ve got a job to help you pay the bills, you’ve got some friends.  There really is no shortage of things to be grateful and happy about if you really look for them.

All it takes is a simple change in your thinking and you can lift yourself from the depths of despair to actually feeling good about life again.

3. Third, Focus on Yourself

Okay, so maybe you can understand that what you focus your mind on creates your emotions, but it sure can be difficult to control what you focus your mind on, especially during a break up (isn’t that an understatement!).

Well, what you need to do is focus on yourself for now. 

Do some things that make YOU happy.  Now is a great time to dust off those French textbooks you’ve got gathering dust on your bookshelf and start learning again.  Now is the perfect opportunity for you to learn how to salsa dance, just like you’ve been meaning to for awhile now.  And now is the best time to get out of your comfort zone and start making some new friends.

As you make progress and improve yourself, this will undoubtedly help you with your feelings of confidence.  The better you get, the better you’ll feel about yourself and your life again.

This is probably one of the best ways to rebuild your confidence after it’s been shattered to pieces from a break up.

The bottom line is that a break up can be extremely challenging, but if you choose to, you can make this the beginning of one of the most positive times in your life.  Stop and reflect on your life and take action to move it in the direction you’ve always wanted to take it in.  All it takes is one small step at a time and you’ll find that your days start to become brighter and happier again before too long.

The post 3 Ways to Bounce Back After a Break Up appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" } ["summary"]=> string(552) "

Break ups can be one of the most challenging things to deal with. In many ways, they can make you feel like your life has come to a screeching stop. Here are 3 simple things you can do to bounce back after a break up. Did you recognize the signs your girlfriend is cheating or […]

The post 3 Ways to Bounce Back After a Break Up appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(4490) "

Break ups can be one of the most challenging things to deal with. In many ways, they can make you feel like your life has come to a screeching stop. Here are 3 simple things you can do to bounce back after a break up.

Did you recognize the signs your girlfriend is cheating or what is worse did you just get dumped and you’re feeling a bit down?

First, of all I want you to know that I’ve been there myself, and even though the pain you’re experiencing may seem unbearable, you’re not alone in all this.

But how can you get back on your feet and enjoy life again when it’s nearly impossible to keep yourself together through the day?

Well, here are three things that can help you bounce back after a break up.

1. First, Cut All Contact with Your Ex.

It’s going to really slow down your healing if you are constantly in touch with your ex.  Those wounds will just get reopen every time you two fight or you find out some news about how they are dating someone already.

Give yourself a real chance to recover by cutting your ex out of your life, at least for now.  A good rule of thumb is to stay away from them for about one month.

I understand that you may not be able to cut all contact with your ex, especially if the two of you work together or go to school together.  If that’s the case, limit the contact as much as possible and keep it strictly professional.

2. Second, Realize This Comes From You

There’s no doubt about it, these negative feelings you’re going through are coming from YOU.  If you’re feeling bad right now, it is because you are focusing your mind on the negative parts of life.

You could just as easily focus on the positive things in life.  You’re healthy, you’ve got a job to help you pay the bills, you’ve got some friends.  There really is no shortage of things to be grateful and happy about if you really look for them.

All it takes is a simple change in your thinking and you can lift yourself from the depths of despair to actually feeling good about life again.

3. Third, Focus on Yourself

Okay, so maybe you can understand that what you focus your mind on creates your emotions, but it sure can be difficult to control what you focus your mind on, especially during a break up (isn’t that an understatement!).

Well, what you need to do is focus on yourself for now. 

Do some things that make YOU happy.  Now is a great time to dust off those French textbooks you’ve got gathering dust on your bookshelf and start learning again.  Now is the perfect opportunity for you to learn how to salsa dance, just like you’ve been meaning to for awhile now.  And now is the best time to get out of your comfort zone and start making some new friends.

As you make progress and improve yourself, this will undoubtedly help you with your feelings of confidence.  The better you get, the better you’ll feel about yourself and your life again.

This is probably one of the best ways to rebuild your confidence after it’s been shattered to pieces from a break up.

The bottom line is that a break up can be extremely challenging, but if you choose to, you can make this the beginning of one of the most positive times in your life.  Stop and reflect on your life and take action to move it in the direction you’ve always wanted to take it in.  All it takes is one small step at a time and you’ll find that your days start to become brighter and happier again before too long.

The post 3 Ways to Bounce Back After a Break Up appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1568730033) } [1]=> array(11) { ["title"]=> string(56) "What Is Considered Cheating in Marriage And Relationship" ["link"]=> string(66) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2019/09/17/what-is-considered-cheating/" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Tue, 17 Sep 2019 13:37:54 +0000" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(15) "Stella Painfree" } ["category"]=> string(64) "Dating Issuesadvicebreak upbreaking upbreakupscheatrelationships" ["guid"]=> string(34) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=3055" ["description"]=> string(626) "

Are you asking yourself if what you did is considered cheating? If so, the answer is probably yes. I’ve gotten into some interesting discussions with people about what is and is not cheating. If you’re having trouble determining what constitutes cheating (or not really wanting to get real with yourself that, yes, you’re a cheater) ask […]

The post What Is Considered Cheating in Marriage And Relationship appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(7749) "

Are you asking yourself if what you did is considered cheating? If so, the answer is probably yes.

I’ve gotten into some interesting discussions with people about what is and is not cheating. If you’re having trouble determining what constitutes cheating (or not really wanting to get real with yourself that, yes, you’re a cheater) ask yourself the following two questions:

  1. Am I trying to keep my actions secret from my partner?
  2. Would I be upset if my partner did the same thing to me?

If you answered yes to either of these questions, the answer is HIGHLY likely that yes, you’re cheating.

We all have different standards of fidelity and it’s crucial to discuss with your significant other what “cheating” really means in your relationship. For example, I interviewed a girl a few years back on whether or not she had ever cheated. She said nope, never cheated. I asked her how she defined cheating and she replied… “Well, you know, the obvious. Sex with someone else.” I then asked her if she’d ever been cheated on and she said no.

A few weeks later, I interviewed her ex-boyfriend and asked him the same question. He replied that yes, he had cheated in the past but not in a long time since he learned how much it can hurt someone else. I then asked him the same question about defining cheating. He replied, “Something that you know your partner would be upset to find out about. Something you are trying to hide from them.” Since that was rather ambiguous, I asked about specific actions that he considered cheating and he started pulling out stories. Including one from the ex-girlfriend that I had interviewed a few weeks earlier. He included things like secret phone calls, not so innocent lunches, and when you cultivated a relationship with someone else while still in a relationship.

I got the feeling that he’d done a lot of thinking about this subject. The interesting thing to me is that his ex claimed she had “never cheated” but he cataloged her cultivating a relationship with her next boyfriend before their breakup as “cheating.” I then asked him if the people who had done those things felt like they had “cheated.” And I got a torrent of anger over how they excused their actions, didn’t think they’d done anything wrong, never even apologized, etc.

So obviously, he and his ex had different definitions of cheating. Ultimately, I agree with the guy on much of what he considers cheating. And because I know that my cheating standards may not fit the cultural norm, I’m pretty upfront about it in the first few months of a relationship. If you’re being sneaky, there is a good chance I’m going to agree that… yes, you do have a reason to run and hide!

That being said, I know a LOT of people who identify more with the ex-girlfriend in the above example. It’s the actual act of sex and nothing else that constitutes cheating. I even know people who feel that you can’t cheat before marriage. That if you’re dating, even if it’s exclusive, then you aren’t a cheater because it’s not marriage. (Seriously?)

So basically, I think the best rule of thumb is to discuss your expectations of fidelity up front and agree to what the “rules” are for your relationship. That pretty much kills the ambiguity and justification. If you know you’re breaking a rule, then you know that you are, indeed, cheating.

The areas and questions you can explore together:

As for the whole question of “do I say anything?”… that’s a huge and very debated subject. I like what Henry Cloud said in one of his books about if there is deceit, then there is no relationship. It may hurt to hear and share, but I think both parties need all the information in order to make their own decision about what they plan to do. If you hide your infidelity, then not only do you live with the guilt and secret, you steal from your partner the ability to make the decision to love you anyway, find someone who they can trust to keep their commitments or something in between.

**If you know that cheating has happened and want to know more about how to categorize it and if your relationship can survive… read here.**

The post What Is Considered Cheating in Marriage And Relationship appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" } ["summary"]=> string(626) "

Are you asking yourself if what you did is considered cheating? If so, the answer is probably yes. I’ve gotten into some interesting discussions with people about what is and is not cheating. If you’re having trouble determining what constitutes cheating (or not really wanting to get real with yourself that, yes, you’re a cheater) ask […]

The post What Is Considered Cheating in Marriage And Relationship appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(7749) "

Are you asking yourself if what you did is considered cheating? If so, the answer is probably yes.

I’ve gotten into some interesting discussions with people about what is and is not cheating. If you’re having trouble determining what constitutes cheating (or not really wanting to get real with yourself that, yes, you’re a cheater) ask yourself the following two questions:

  1. Am I trying to keep my actions secret from my partner?
  2. Would I be upset if my partner did the same thing to me?

If you answered yes to either of these questions, the answer is HIGHLY likely that yes, you’re cheating.

We all have different standards of fidelity and it’s crucial to discuss with your significant other what “cheating” really means in your relationship. For example, I interviewed a girl a few years back on whether or not she had ever cheated. She said nope, never cheated. I asked her how she defined cheating and she replied… “Well, you know, the obvious. Sex with someone else.” I then asked her if she’d ever been cheated on and she said no.

A few weeks later, I interviewed her ex-boyfriend and asked him the same question. He replied that yes, he had cheated in the past but not in a long time since he learned how much it can hurt someone else. I then asked him the same question about defining cheating. He replied, “Something that you know your partner would be upset to find out about. Something you are trying to hide from them.” Since that was rather ambiguous, I asked about specific actions that he considered cheating and he started pulling out stories. Including one from the ex-girlfriend that I had interviewed a few weeks earlier. He included things like secret phone calls, not so innocent lunches, and when you cultivated a relationship with someone else while still in a relationship.

I got the feeling that he’d done a lot of thinking about this subject. The interesting thing to me is that his ex claimed she had “never cheated” but he cataloged her cultivating a relationship with her next boyfriend before their breakup as “cheating.” I then asked him if the people who had done those things felt like they had “cheated.” And I got a torrent of anger over how they excused their actions, didn’t think they’d done anything wrong, never even apologized, etc.

So obviously, he and his ex had different definitions of cheating. Ultimately, I agree with the guy on much of what he considers cheating. And because I know that my cheating standards may not fit the cultural norm, I’m pretty upfront about it in the first few months of a relationship. If you’re being sneaky, there is a good chance I’m going to agree that… yes, you do have a reason to run and hide!

That being said, I know a LOT of people who identify more with the ex-girlfriend in the above example. It’s the actual act of sex and nothing else that constitutes cheating. I even know people who feel that you can’t cheat before marriage. That if you’re dating, even if it’s exclusive, then you aren’t a cheater because it’s not marriage. (Seriously?)

So basically, I think the best rule of thumb is to discuss your expectations of fidelity up front and agree to what the “rules” are for your relationship. That pretty much kills the ambiguity and justification. If you know you’re breaking a rule, then you know that you are, indeed, cheating.

The areas and questions you can explore together:

As for the whole question of “do I say anything?”… that’s a huge and very debated subject. I like what Henry Cloud said in one of his books about if there is deceit, then there is no relationship. It may hurt to hear and share, but I think both parties need all the information in order to make their own decision about what they plan to do. If you hide your infidelity, then not only do you live with the guilt and secret, you steal from your partner the ability to make the decision to love you anyway, find someone who they can trust to keep their commitments or something in between.

**If you know that cheating has happened and want to know more about how to categorize it and if your relationship can survive… read here.**

The post What Is Considered Cheating in Marriage And Relationship appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1568727474) } [2]=> array(11) { ["title"]=> string(23) "How To Date Black Women" ["link"]=> string(64) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2019/09/17/how-to-date-a-black-women/" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Tue, 17 Sep 2019 12:49:48 +0000" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(10) "Andrew Tch" } ["category"]=> string(59) "Dating Adviceblack womendatinginterracialrelationshipswomen" ["guid"]=> string(34) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=3048" ["description"]=> string(544) "

I often get asked from my friends “how to date black women” or “how to date thai girls”. Because I am a dating expert and have been around a time or two, they see me as a serial dater. If you’re looking to meet thai singles, click the following link to compare the best thai […]

The post How To Date Black Women appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(3686) "

I often get asked from my friends “how to date black women” or “how to date thai girls”. Because I am a dating expert and have been around a time or two, they see me as a serial dater. If you’re looking to meet thai singles, click the following link to compare the best thai dating sites through my personal experience. Keep on reading about what I said when they asked me how to date a black women.

Dating black women is almost like dating any other kind of women. I have been around the block or two and have dated all kinds of women: from different races, attitudes, religions, and backgrounds. I can tell you that if you are to approach a black women in a bar or somewhere on the street, you should follow these 3 tips so that you do not get shot down. Keep these tips handy because by the end of this article, you’ll know how to date a black women.

Keep It Simple

Let me say it plainly and as simple as I can: by keeping it simple, you’ll overcome all the fluff and crap that you do not have to deal with. Just be straight to the point and say: “Hey are you free on Friday?” or “Do you want to grab some drinks?” By being direct and straight to the point, you’ll show your intentions right away and give off the impression that you want to take this girl out. Girls can definitely cue in when you are nervous and not smooth, so if you have to practice it in front of the mirror, or even to a stranger on the street, then do so.

Do not try to over compensate what so ever. If you are not black, do not try to “act black” just to get her attention. If you want to learn how to date a black women, remember this. Being yourself is key and this is how we’ll segue into the next tip.

Be Genuine

The last thing any black women wants is a fake and phony guy. Being comfortable in your own skin and being confident is all you really need. If you are confident and comfortable then you can give it your all when meeting a black woman. By being genuine and true, you open it up for her to also be true and genuine. If you are going to put up walls and try to be fake, you will not get anywhere.

Being true to yourself and to her will save you time and even embarrassment. If the topic comes up and she asks you if you ever dated a black woman before, tell the truth. If you have not, it is totally ok to just say you haven’t and the reason why. This will lead us into the next tip.

Be Truthful

Nobody will appreciate a liar. By being truthful and open minded, you will be more comfortable around your date and will be more fun. Do not treat your date differently because you have never been on a date with a black woman. If you notice all these tips mentioned above can apply to women of any race. The reason why is because it really does not matter what their race is, as long as you are both open minded, you can date anyone. So you really do not need to know how to date black girls, but just all women.

The post How To Date Black Women appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" } ["summary"]=> string(544) "

I often get asked from my friends “how to date black women” or “how to date thai girls”. Because I am a dating expert and have been around a time or two, they see me as a serial dater. If you’re looking to meet thai singles, click the following link to compare the best thai […]

The post How To Date Black Women appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(3686) "

I often get asked from my friends “how to date black women” or “how to date thai girls”. Because I am a dating expert and have been around a time or two, they see me as a serial dater. If you’re looking to meet thai singles, click the following link to compare the best thai dating sites through my personal experience. Keep on reading about what I said when they asked me how to date a black women.

Dating black women is almost like dating any other kind of women. I have been around the block or two and have dated all kinds of women: from different races, attitudes, religions, and backgrounds. I can tell you that if you are to approach a black women in a bar or somewhere on the street, you should follow these 3 tips so that you do not get shot down. Keep these tips handy because by the end of this article, you’ll know how to date a black women.

Keep It Simple

Let me say it plainly and as simple as I can: by keeping it simple, you’ll overcome all the fluff and crap that you do not have to deal with. Just be straight to the point and say: “Hey are you free on Friday?” or “Do you want to grab some drinks?” By being direct and straight to the point, you’ll show your intentions right away and give off the impression that you want to take this girl out. Girls can definitely cue in when you are nervous and not smooth, so if you have to practice it in front of the mirror, or even to a stranger on the street, then do so.

Do not try to over compensate what so ever. If you are not black, do not try to “act black” just to get her attention. If you want to learn how to date a black women, remember this. Being yourself is key and this is how we’ll segue into the next tip.

Be Genuine

The last thing any black women wants is a fake and phony guy. Being comfortable in your own skin and being confident is all you really need. If you are confident and comfortable then you can give it your all when meeting a black woman. By being genuine and true, you open it up for her to also be true and genuine. If you are going to put up walls and try to be fake, you will not get anywhere.

Being true to yourself and to her will save you time and even embarrassment. If the topic comes up and she asks you if you ever dated a black woman before, tell the truth. If you have not, it is totally ok to just say you haven’t and the reason why. This will lead us into the next tip.

Be Truthful

Nobody will appreciate a liar. By being truthful and open minded, you will be more comfortable around your date and will be more fun. Do not treat your date differently because you have never been on a date with a black woman. If you notice all these tips mentioned above can apply to women of any race. The reason why is because it really does not matter what their race is, as long as you are both open minded, you can date anyone. So you really do not need to know how to date black girls, but just all women.

The post How To Date Black Women appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1568724588) } [3]=> array(11) { ["title"]=> string(55) "How to Date with Extra Weight: Do you have a Fattitude?" ["link"]=> string(92) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2019/09/17/how-to-date-with-extra-weight-do-you-have-a-fattitude/" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Tue, 17 Sep 2019 12:33:03 +0000" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(21) "Kimberly Dawn Neumann" } ["category"]=> string(145) "Dating Issuesaccountabilityattitudeattractionbody languageCulturedatingfatfattitudefithealthlifemenoverweightrelationshipsself-esteemsupportwomen" ["guid"]=> string(34) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=3045" ["description"]=> string(647) "

We all know that everything from chemistry to compatibility come into the picture of defining the “whole package” for most people. Frankly, it’s easy for a dating “guru” or “expert” to suggest that you have to get it all into shape before you’ll be considered ready to date. After all, it brings them business in “fixing […]

The post How to Date with Extra Weight: Do you have a Fattitude? appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(9887) "

We all know that everything from chemistry to compatibility come into the picture of defining the “whole package” for most people. Frankly, it’s easy for a dating “guru” or “expert” to suggest that you have to get it all into shape before you’ll be considered ready to date. After all, it brings them business in “fixing you.” Simply put, I don’t agree with the gurus. I think we are all a work in progress our entire lives. If you wait for “perfection,” you’re going to be alone for a long time.

Weight, fat, fitness, health… it’s a component that’s hard to overlook. And I don’t think you should. A lot of times, weight — either over or under optimal — indicates overall health. But not always. Most people are on a continuum between “biggest loser” and “I’ve given up.” The important thing is to be as far away from the “I’ve given up” extreme as possible. The closer you are to overcoming your mental challenges and attitude around weight loss, the more attractive you’re going to be to your date of choice whether you’ve attained “skinny” or not. A “fattitude” can really slow you down.

I’m consistently reading and hearing things like, “If you’re overweight you’ll never find someone good so just eat right, exercise and lose the weight!” Well, from someone who’s dealt with weight issues, there is nothing more frustrating than having a skinny person blithely throw off advice like “just lose the weight.” I even had a guy I’d just met tell me, when I was at my heaviest, that the only thing I needed to change was my eating habits and I would find a great guy. I pondered this for about 3 seconds and queried, “So, I’m eating about 1200 cal a day off the American Heart Association’s and nutritionist’s recommended list and work out 8x a week — 4 with a trainer. Do you have any other suggestions since I seem to be fresh out of ideas?”

Yes, I was mad. And snippy.

Especially since it took me 4 doctors and 5 long years of people assuming it was a diet and exercise thing before a specialist figured out the problem and got me on the right track. Less than a year later, I’m down 5 sizes and back into my old clothes. Same food. Same exercise. All it was, was a case of misplaced hormones.

I tell you that story, not to give you an excuse to sit on your butt and eat bon bons and blame your hormones, but to tell you that I’m not just another skinny person talking about what to do when you’re trying to date with extra weight on you. It can be challenging, frustrating and disheartening. And for the first 2 years of hormone wackadoodleness I fell victim to the lie that I had to get back to skinny before I would find a “good” person. Sad for me, since I missed out on some great dating years by being focused on the wrong things.

If you only get one thing out of this post, it’s this:

You do not have to be perfect to find the perfect person for you.

Quoting Elena Lynn, contributor of Amolatina:

i’ve noticed that despite a weight fluctuation of 60 pounds between thinnest and fattest, it’s never made any difference in dating/sex life. the difference is entirely in *me* – if I wallow in worry, I either become less attractive or I don’t notice/believe when people are attracted. If I don’t worry and just be confident and fun and interested and enthusiastic, he doesn’t seem to notice fat.

OTOH [on the other hand] fat is something other people can see, right away, so anyone who is not attracted to me when I’m heavier isn’t going to come into my radar anyway – it’s not like he won’t see it and then be shocked when we get naked. Besides, clothes are visually fattening and make you feel fat, so the best thing to do is get naked. And get a great bra for when you can’t be naked!

Having a fat attitude (fattitude) can be one of the greatest dating deterrents because potential dates catch onto your negative self-propaganda and believe it too. (This can also happen to the “skinny girls” who myopically focus on pounds and perception. I never saw so much “fattitude” as when I lived in LA amongst all the — literally — starving artists.)

A few indicators that you may be projecting a “fattitude:”

A few tried and true tips to adjust your fattitude:

The post How to Date with Extra Weight: Do you have a Fattitude? appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" } ["summary"]=> string(647) "

We all know that everything from chemistry to compatibility come into the picture of defining the “whole package” for most people. Frankly, it’s easy for a dating “guru” or “expert” to suggest that you have to get it all into shape before you’ll be considered ready to date. After all, it brings them business in “fixing […]

The post How to Date with Extra Weight: Do you have a Fattitude? appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(9887) "

We all know that everything from chemistry to compatibility come into the picture of defining the “whole package” for most people. Frankly, it’s easy for a dating “guru” or “expert” to suggest that you have to get it all into shape before you’ll be considered ready to date. After all, it brings them business in “fixing you.” Simply put, I don’t agree with the gurus. I think we are all a work in progress our entire lives. If you wait for “perfection,” you’re going to be alone for a long time.

Weight, fat, fitness, health… it’s a component that’s hard to overlook. And I don’t think you should. A lot of times, weight — either over or under optimal — indicates overall health. But not always. Most people are on a continuum between “biggest loser” and “I’ve given up.” The important thing is to be as far away from the “I’ve given up” extreme as possible. The closer you are to overcoming your mental challenges and attitude around weight loss, the more attractive you’re going to be to your date of choice whether you’ve attained “skinny” or not. A “fattitude” can really slow you down.

I’m consistently reading and hearing things like, “If you’re overweight you’ll never find someone good so just eat right, exercise and lose the weight!” Well, from someone who’s dealt with weight issues, there is nothing more frustrating than having a skinny person blithely throw off advice like “just lose the weight.” I even had a guy I’d just met tell me, when I was at my heaviest, that the only thing I needed to change was my eating habits and I would find a great guy. I pondered this for about 3 seconds and queried, “So, I’m eating about 1200 cal a day off the American Heart Association’s and nutritionist’s recommended list and work out 8x a week — 4 with a trainer. Do you have any other suggestions since I seem to be fresh out of ideas?”

Yes, I was mad. And snippy.

Especially since it took me 4 doctors and 5 long years of people assuming it was a diet and exercise thing before a specialist figured out the problem and got me on the right track. Less than a year later, I’m down 5 sizes and back into my old clothes. Same food. Same exercise. All it was, was a case of misplaced hormones.

I tell you that story, not to give you an excuse to sit on your butt and eat bon bons and blame your hormones, but to tell you that I’m not just another skinny person talking about what to do when you’re trying to date with extra weight on you. It can be challenging, frustrating and disheartening. And for the first 2 years of hormone wackadoodleness I fell victim to the lie that I had to get back to skinny before I would find a “good” person. Sad for me, since I missed out on some great dating years by being focused on the wrong things.

If you only get one thing out of this post, it’s this:

You do not have to be perfect to find the perfect person for you.

Quoting Elena Lynn, contributor of Amolatina:

i’ve noticed that despite a weight fluctuation of 60 pounds between thinnest and fattest, it’s never made any difference in dating/sex life. the difference is entirely in *me* – if I wallow in worry, I either become less attractive or I don’t notice/believe when people are attracted. If I don’t worry and just be confident and fun and interested and enthusiastic, he doesn’t seem to notice fat.

OTOH [on the other hand] fat is something other people can see, right away, so anyone who is not attracted to me when I’m heavier isn’t going to come into my radar anyway – it’s not like he won’t see it and then be shocked when we get naked. Besides, clothes are visually fattening and make you feel fat, so the best thing to do is get naked. And get a great bra for when you can’t be naked!

Having a fat attitude (fattitude) can be one of the greatest dating deterrents because potential dates catch onto your negative self-propaganda and believe it too. (This can also happen to the “skinny girls” who myopically focus on pounds and perception. I never saw so much “fattitude” as when I lived in LA amongst all the — literally — starving artists.)

A few indicators that you may be projecting a “fattitude:”

A few tried and true tips to adjust your fattitude:

The post How to Date with Extra Weight: Do you have a Fattitude? appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1568723583) } [4]=> array(11) { ["title"]=> string(66) "Top 10 Things Girls Will Never Tell You About Your Online Approach" ["link"]=> string(105) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2019/09/17/top-10-things-girls-will-never-tell-you-about-your-online-approach/" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Tue, 17 Sep 2019 12:24:44 +0000" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(15) "Stella Painfree" } ["category"]=> string(150) "Dating AdviceattractiondatingdealbreakershonestyHumorlieslooksmatch.commenonline datingpicturesprofileromanceself-esteemsextruthturn offsturn onswomen" ["guid"]=> string(34) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=3042" ["description"]=> string(605) "

Top 5 Turn Ons 1. We love it when we can tell you read our profile. Yes, it’s fine that you noticed the picture first. We do too. But we love it when you mention something in your email that points to you having obviously read what we wrote as well. 2. There is something […]

The post Top 10 Things Girls Will Never Tell You About Your Online Approach appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(6380) "

Top 5 Turn Ons

1. We love it when we can tell you read our profile. Yes, it’s fine that you noticed the picture first. We do too. But we love it when you mention something in your email that points to you having obviously read what we wrote as well.

2. There is something innately sexy about a confident initiator. The aww-shucks approach about having a friend write your profile or you not being used to this method of dating doesn’t really go as far as a guy who obviously knows online dating isn’t ideal but hey, we’re both here and you’re going to make the most of it by finding our sexy selves online and starting the pursuit.

3. If we think you’re hot, it’s going to take us a bit more time to figure out our approach. Women have subtle ways of being noticed and blatant ways of getting attention. Some women will pop by your profile everyday until you send a hello and others will write you a blatant email of interest, but no doubt about it… women look at the pictures too and at times, it doesn’t make a hill of beans difference what you write in your profile as long as you don’t confess to being a serial killer or Johnny stalker.

4. It’s a good thing to fill out what you’re looking for, since women will a LOT of the time, scroll down to see what really rocks your world. If you only fill out height, body type and ethnicity — you can imagine the message that will send even to a girl who fits into your stats. But if you fill out everything from height to education to religion, most women will feel a bit more secure in knowing that you know what you want and are looking for more than a Barbie doll who happens to be shorter and younger than you.

5. You. You are a top 5 turn on when the genuine you shows up. Most of us have learned to pay attention to our intuition and it almost always lights up when a guy starts showing his true colors. So, if you’re a goofy dork at heart, many girls will love that side of you. Or perhaps you really are an adventure seeking dare-devil… reveal that side of yourself in words and actions. Basically, women love to feel like they are one of the few who really *knows* you, so if you start letting her in… you’re likely to get a pretty quick reaction.

Top 6 Turn Offs

1. If she specifies an age bracket and you are 5+ years above it, she’s gonna do the “Ewwwwwwwwww… he could be my dad!” while deleting your email. Rest assured, women know that they *must* be flexible and more open about age parameters than they may really be comfortable with… after all, that’s what everyone tells them to do for online dating. That being said, the upper end of their bracket is probably already stretched a bit and she’s thinking, “He’s going to have to be hot, look young, funny AND successful to even get a reply email if he’s at the top end of my age bracket.” (Sorry guys, just telling it like it is for most women.) And no, you’re not fooling anyone when you lie about your age. Very few men actually LOOK younger thanks to hi-res cameras. That’s just something nice your relatives told you during your last mid-life crisis.

2. In that vein, catching you in a lie is also, not a turn on. Most women do not think, oh that’s cute — he lied about his height/age/married status/kids because he was afraid I wouldn’t like him. Nope, most women do the same thing you do when women post an inaccurate picture… “How DARE he/she lie to me and think I’m going to ignore it!” You really are better off just embracing everything about yourself and going with the truth. We do tend to find the truth sexy.

3. Most women can spot a canned approach from a mile away. Most women will not reply to aforementioned canned approach. If she does… she either thinks you’re hot enough to take a risk or she’s dumb, desperate or desperately bored. So, no, you are not a stealthy, smart, efficient man if you get a reply to your canned spam. She knows it’s spam and has decided to reply anyway. You may want to duck and cover.

4. Most women do not get turned on by mentions of sex or your sexual prowess in your profile. The same goes double for initial emails. Yes, we KNOW you think sex is important. And we KNOW physical affection is likely at the top of your list for any relationship. Duh. (p.s. It’s important to us as well, we just don’t bring it up since we think it’s obvious.)

5. Pictures. Ok guys, you may have the most buff bod in the world… I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again… the shirtless bathroom mirror self-portrait — there is just NOTHING sexy about it. I know so many girls that just pass that profile right on by no matter how cute the rest of your pictures are, because there’s just a creepy factor that’s hard to get over once you see that shot. I really wish the online sites would auto-delete those pictures, but until they do… post at your own peril.

6. You think that flirting is not equal cheating. You are a pick up master and know how to seduce a married woman. Flirting is cheating because it’s breaking a boundary within a committed relationship. In a committed relationship we agree to give certain parts of ourselves to our partner. You flirting with someone when we’re in a relationship is unloving and it’s disrespectful to our partner. That may not be our intention, but it’s a result of flirting.

The post Top 10 Things Girls Will Never Tell You About Your Online Approach appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" } ["summary"]=> string(605) "

Top 5 Turn Ons 1. We love it when we can tell you read our profile. Yes, it’s fine that you noticed the picture first. We do too. But we love it when you mention something in your email that points to you having obviously read what we wrote as well. 2. There is something […]

The post Top 10 Things Girls Will Never Tell You About Your Online Approach appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(6380) "

Top 5 Turn Ons

1. We love it when we can tell you read our profile. Yes, it’s fine that you noticed the picture first. We do too. But we love it when you mention something in your email that points to you having obviously read what we wrote as well.

2. There is something innately sexy about a confident initiator. The aww-shucks approach about having a friend write your profile or you not being used to this method of dating doesn’t really go as far as a guy who obviously knows online dating isn’t ideal but hey, we’re both here and you’re going to make the most of it by finding our sexy selves online and starting the pursuit.

3. If we think you’re hot, it’s going to take us a bit more time to figure out our approach. Women have subtle ways of being noticed and blatant ways of getting attention. Some women will pop by your profile everyday until you send a hello and others will write you a blatant email of interest, but no doubt about it… women look at the pictures too and at times, it doesn’t make a hill of beans difference what you write in your profile as long as you don’t confess to being a serial killer or Johnny stalker.

4. It’s a good thing to fill out what you’re looking for, since women will a LOT of the time, scroll down to see what really rocks your world. If you only fill out height, body type and ethnicity — you can imagine the message that will send even to a girl who fits into your stats. But if you fill out everything from height to education to religion, most women will feel a bit more secure in knowing that you know what you want and are looking for more than a Barbie doll who happens to be shorter and younger than you.

5. You. You are a top 5 turn on when the genuine you shows up. Most of us have learned to pay attention to our intuition and it almost always lights up when a guy starts showing his true colors. So, if you’re a goofy dork at heart, many girls will love that side of you. Or perhaps you really are an adventure seeking dare-devil… reveal that side of yourself in words and actions. Basically, women love to feel like they are one of the few who really *knows* you, so if you start letting her in… you’re likely to get a pretty quick reaction.

Top 6 Turn Offs

1. If she specifies an age bracket and you are 5+ years above it, she’s gonna do the “Ewwwwwwwwww… he could be my dad!” while deleting your email. Rest assured, women know that they *must* be flexible and more open about age parameters than they may really be comfortable with… after all, that’s what everyone tells them to do for online dating. That being said, the upper end of their bracket is probably already stretched a bit and she’s thinking, “He’s going to have to be hot, look young, funny AND successful to even get a reply email if he’s at the top end of my age bracket.” (Sorry guys, just telling it like it is for most women.) And no, you’re not fooling anyone when you lie about your age. Very few men actually LOOK younger thanks to hi-res cameras. That’s just something nice your relatives told you during your last mid-life crisis.

2. In that vein, catching you in a lie is also, not a turn on. Most women do not think, oh that’s cute — he lied about his height/age/married status/kids because he was afraid I wouldn’t like him. Nope, most women do the same thing you do when women post an inaccurate picture… “How DARE he/she lie to me and think I’m going to ignore it!” You really are better off just embracing everything about yourself and going with the truth. We do tend to find the truth sexy.

3. Most women can spot a canned approach from a mile away. Most women will not reply to aforementioned canned approach. If she does… she either thinks you’re hot enough to take a risk or she’s dumb, desperate or desperately bored. So, no, you are not a stealthy, smart, efficient man if you get a reply to your canned spam. She knows it’s spam and has decided to reply anyway. You may want to duck and cover.

4. Most women do not get turned on by mentions of sex or your sexual prowess in your profile. The same goes double for initial emails. Yes, we KNOW you think sex is important. And we KNOW physical affection is likely at the top of your list for any relationship. Duh. (p.s. It’s important to us as well, we just don’t bring it up since we think it’s obvious.)

5. Pictures. Ok guys, you may have the most buff bod in the world… I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again… the shirtless bathroom mirror self-portrait — there is just NOTHING sexy about it. I know so many girls that just pass that profile right on by no matter how cute the rest of your pictures are, because there’s just a creepy factor that’s hard to get over once you see that shot. I really wish the online sites would auto-delete those pictures, but until they do… post at your own peril.

6. You think that flirting is not equal cheating. You are a pick up master and know how to seduce a married woman. Flirting is cheating because it’s breaking a boundary within a committed relationship. In a committed relationship we agree to give certain parts of ourselves to our partner. You flirting with someone when we’re in a relationship is unloving and it’s disrespectful to our partner. That may not be our intention, but it’s a result of flirting.

The post Top 10 Things Girls Will Never Tell You About Your Online Approach appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1568723084) } [5]=> array(11) { ["title"]=> string(35) "10 Ways to Pick Up An Artist Chicks" ["link"]=> string(74) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2019/09/17/10-ways-to-pick-up-an-artist-chicks/" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Tue, 17 Sep 2019 10:39:30 +0000" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(9) "Alex Wise" } ["category"]=> string(64) "InterestingartartistsCezannecraftingdalipainterspicassoSculptors" ["guid"]=> string(34) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=3039" ["description"]=> string(625) "

Artist chicks are a rare breed. At first glance, they seem possibly boring, probably bitchy and definitely annoying. But behind those horn-rimmed glasses, underneath those layers of paint on her hands and beyond the mumbo jumbo art terms she’s spewing, there lies a passionate and wild girl who wants your paint all over her canvas. It’s not […]

The post 10 Ways to Pick Up An Artist Chicks appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(8409) "

Artist chicks are a rare breed. At first glance, they seem possibly boring, probably bitchy and definitely annoying. But behind those horn-rimmed glasses, underneath those layers of paint on her hands and beyond the mumbo jumbo art terms she’s spewing, there lies a passionate and wild girl who wants your paint all over her canvas. It’s not going to be easy, though, so here are some pointers:

1) Be Controversial Conversationalist

An easy way to impress an Artist Chick is to raise controversy every time you talk, and the best way to do that is to be a hater . There are completely divergent view points in the art world, but the one thread that binds just about all artists, art critics and people in that world in general is a healthy serving of HATE. You can’t throw a stick two feet in an art gallery without hitting someone making a negative comment. If you want to impress an Artist Chick, hate stuff. “God, Van Gogh is so overrated.” “Ugh, I LOATHE Leonardo Da Vinci.” “The Sistine Chapel is SO UGLY!” You’ll get extra points with her if you wait until she says she likes something and you respond, “Really? You like that? Weird.”

2) Whatever You Really Feel, Say The Opposite

You see a pair of stained underpants mounted to a wire hanging from a museum ceiling. Your normal reaction? This is effin’ stupid. So you MUST say, “This is brilliant.” You see a gorgeous landscape painting that catches the beauty of the setting sun so well that you’re getting almost teary? “This is effin’ stupid.” Say the opposite of what you feel because, in part, the art world (and Artist Chicks in particular) is fueled on contrarianism. But also, in general, the more you know about a subject like art, the more your viewpoint diverges from the “mainstream.” You’re presumably not there yet… you know your primary colors and that you shouldn’t eat lead paint and that’s about it. So the best way to fake it like you know it is to say something against your better judgement. Don’t worry, you can hate yourself the morning after.

3) The Poorer You Seem, The Hotter You Become

Most artists never make money while they’re alive. If they’re really lucky, they’ll make a shit load — right after they die. Suffering for your art (and for art in general) is key to the artist lifestyle. Now you don’t have to quit your job, burn your money and live out of a bus “Into The Wild” style to bag an Artist Chick — no one over the age of 17 gets laid on a bus. But you can fake the funk and still get away with it — show up to meet your Artist Chick unshaved, unshowered and with no money in your wallet and, for once in your life, she’s gonna get wet.

4) Drop The Terms “Aesthetics,” “Context,” “Intent,” and “Craft” into Casual Conversation

Sample: “I was thinking about the Aesthetics of the new Detroit Lions logo and I think, while it’s really lacking in Craft and Intent, Contextually, it’s really quite brilliant.” Okay, so maybe that one won’t work, but don’t worry… no one knows what any of these words mean anyways. Just make sure to use them and use them often in front of the Artist Chick you’re trying to bag.

5) Dress Like An Artist

The artist uniform has some basic musts: vintage, shirts with horizontal lines, bright colors and one weird prop. Jackson Pollack wore horizontally striped shirts. Picasso wore Panama hats. Salvador Dali had weird mustaches. Andy Warhol wore a big white wig. Artists pride themselves on their individuality and often dress like they’re individuals too. If you look sharp and have one visual “gimmick” in your ensemble, you’ll be instantly more memorable to your Artist Chick. Just don’t let your homies see you dressed up like an artist. You won’t be able to live that down, EVER.

6) Offer to “Collaborate”

Remember that scene in “Ghost” when Patrick Swayze (RIP) and Demi Moore (RIP… I kid, I kid) are making that sculpture together and then they start boning all on top of the clay? Sure that scene was ridiculous, but it was really not that far fetched. There’s something about creating something (even the dumbest piece of crap) that gets an Artist Chick’s (most likely) oversized panties as moist as a Cezanne landscape. Put some pipe cleaners, glue and a broken-down cardboard box in your bag and at the opportune moment, drop the “C” word to your Artist Chick. You’ll be “Collaborating” in no time. And by “Collaborating,” I of course mean fucking. Oh, you figured that out on your own? Nice!

7) Invent What You Think A Piece of Art Means

Some think Warhol’s soup cans are a comment on commercialism. Some think it’s a comment on fame. Some think it’s a comment on soup. Truth is, no one knows. The “meaning” of a work of art is a beautiful thing because unlike at Wal Mart, the customer is actually always right. This might sound ridiculous, but if you’re at a show for your Artist Chick, go right up to her and start telling her what her work means. “This painting of an old lady is saying a lot of interesting things about fascism. And that still life of the bushel of oranges? That’s deeply symbolic of child birth.” Get ready to have your mind blown, because she’s not only going to agree with you, but she’s going to be grabbing your ass too.

8) Hit Up A Gallery, Skip A Museum

There is free food and alcohol at galleries. There is no talking and fat tourists at museums. No brainer here.

9) Be A Really Good Artist. Or A Bad One

If you’re actually a great artist, you’ll have an Artist Chick in the bag in no time. There’s nothing that gets those paint-soaked overalls onto your bedroom floor faster than being great at something she deeply cares about. But here’s the weird thing about art these days — “Good” doesn’t mean much. If you can’t draw the human form, don’t apologize. Jean-Michel Basquiat couldn’t draw for shit either and that guy got laid all the time. Whatever your talent (or lack thereof) is, as long as you’re confident (or pretend you are), she’s going to be mouth-washing your paint brush in no time.

10) When All Else Fails, Go For Sculptors

If you run into a line of frigid Artist Chicks, just seek out a local kiln. Modern art sculptors are the most under-appreciated artists living today… they work in dark, hot rooms and no one gives a damn about their work. Bring a female sculptor a sandwich, and you probably have a fuck buddy for life.

 

The post 10 Ways to Pick Up An Artist Chicks appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" } ["summary"]=> string(625) "

Artist chicks are a rare breed. At first glance, they seem possibly boring, probably bitchy and definitely annoying. But behind those horn-rimmed glasses, underneath those layers of paint on her hands and beyond the mumbo jumbo art terms she’s spewing, there lies a passionate and wild girl who wants your paint all over her canvas. It’s not […]

The post 10 Ways to Pick Up An Artist Chicks appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(8409) "

Artist chicks are a rare breed. At first glance, they seem possibly boring, probably bitchy and definitely annoying. But behind those horn-rimmed glasses, underneath those layers of paint on her hands and beyond the mumbo jumbo art terms she’s spewing, there lies a passionate and wild girl who wants your paint all over her canvas. It’s not going to be easy, though, so here are some pointers:

1) Be Controversial Conversationalist

An easy way to impress an Artist Chick is to raise controversy every time you talk, and the best way to do that is to be a hater . There are completely divergent view points in the art world, but the one thread that binds just about all artists, art critics and people in that world in general is a healthy serving of HATE. You can’t throw a stick two feet in an art gallery without hitting someone making a negative comment. If you want to impress an Artist Chick, hate stuff. “God, Van Gogh is so overrated.” “Ugh, I LOATHE Leonardo Da Vinci.” “The Sistine Chapel is SO UGLY!” You’ll get extra points with her if you wait until she says she likes something and you respond, “Really? You like that? Weird.”

2) Whatever You Really Feel, Say The Opposite

You see a pair of stained underpants mounted to a wire hanging from a museum ceiling. Your normal reaction? This is effin’ stupid. So you MUST say, “This is brilliant.” You see a gorgeous landscape painting that catches the beauty of the setting sun so well that you’re getting almost teary? “This is effin’ stupid.” Say the opposite of what you feel because, in part, the art world (and Artist Chicks in particular) is fueled on contrarianism. But also, in general, the more you know about a subject like art, the more your viewpoint diverges from the “mainstream.” You’re presumably not there yet… you know your primary colors and that you shouldn’t eat lead paint and that’s about it. So the best way to fake it like you know it is to say something against your better judgement. Don’t worry, you can hate yourself the morning after.

3) The Poorer You Seem, The Hotter You Become

Most artists never make money while they’re alive. If they’re really lucky, they’ll make a shit load — right after they die. Suffering for your art (and for art in general) is key to the artist lifestyle. Now you don’t have to quit your job, burn your money and live out of a bus “Into The Wild” style to bag an Artist Chick — no one over the age of 17 gets laid on a bus. But you can fake the funk and still get away with it — show up to meet your Artist Chick unshaved, unshowered and with no money in your wallet and, for once in your life, she’s gonna get wet.

4) Drop The Terms “Aesthetics,” “Context,” “Intent,” and “Craft” into Casual Conversation

Sample: “I was thinking about the Aesthetics of the new Detroit Lions logo and I think, while it’s really lacking in Craft and Intent, Contextually, it’s really quite brilliant.” Okay, so maybe that one won’t work, but don’t worry… no one knows what any of these words mean anyways. Just make sure to use them and use them often in front of the Artist Chick you’re trying to bag.

5) Dress Like An Artist

The artist uniform has some basic musts: vintage, shirts with horizontal lines, bright colors and one weird prop. Jackson Pollack wore horizontally striped shirts. Picasso wore Panama hats. Salvador Dali had weird mustaches. Andy Warhol wore a big white wig. Artists pride themselves on their individuality and often dress like they’re individuals too. If you look sharp and have one visual “gimmick” in your ensemble, you’ll be instantly more memorable to your Artist Chick. Just don’t let your homies see you dressed up like an artist. You won’t be able to live that down, EVER.

6) Offer to “Collaborate”

Remember that scene in “Ghost” when Patrick Swayze (RIP) and Demi Moore (RIP… I kid, I kid) are making that sculpture together and then they start boning all on top of the clay? Sure that scene was ridiculous, but it was really not that far fetched. There’s something about creating something (even the dumbest piece of crap) that gets an Artist Chick’s (most likely) oversized panties as moist as a Cezanne landscape. Put some pipe cleaners, glue and a broken-down cardboard box in your bag and at the opportune moment, drop the “C” word to your Artist Chick. You’ll be “Collaborating” in no time. And by “Collaborating,” I of course mean fucking. Oh, you figured that out on your own? Nice!

7) Invent What You Think A Piece of Art Means

Some think Warhol’s soup cans are a comment on commercialism. Some think it’s a comment on fame. Some think it’s a comment on soup. Truth is, no one knows. The “meaning” of a work of art is a beautiful thing because unlike at Wal Mart, the customer is actually always right. This might sound ridiculous, but if you’re at a show for your Artist Chick, go right up to her and start telling her what her work means. “This painting of an old lady is saying a lot of interesting things about fascism. And that still life of the bushel of oranges? That’s deeply symbolic of child birth.” Get ready to have your mind blown, because she’s not only going to agree with you, but she’s going to be grabbing your ass too.

8) Hit Up A Gallery, Skip A Museum

There is free food and alcohol at galleries. There is no talking and fat tourists at museums. No brainer here.

9) Be A Really Good Artist. Or A Bad One

If you’re actually a great artist, you’ll have an Artist Chick in the bag in no time. There’s nothing that gets those paint-soaked overalls onto your bedroom floor faster than being great at something she deeply cares about. But here’s the weird thing about art these days — “Good” doesn’t mean much. If you can’t draw the human form, don’t apologize. Jean-Michel Basquiat couldn’t draw for shit either and that guy got laid all the time. Whatever your talent (or lack thereof) is, as long as you’re confident (or pretend you are), she’s going to be mouth-washing your paint brush in no time.

10) When All Else Fails, Go For Sculptors

If you run into a line of frigid Artist Chicks, just seek out a local kiln. Modern art sculptors are the most under-appreciated artists living today… they work in dark, hot rooms and no one gives a damn about their work. Bring a female sculptor a sandwich, and you probably have a fuck buddy for life.

 

The post 10 Ways to Pick Up An Artist Chicks appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1568716770) } [6]=> array(11) { ["title"]=> string(28) "How Do You Meet Someone New?" ["link"]=> string(66) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2019/09/16/how-do-you-meet-someone-new/" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Mon, 16 Sep 2019 14:06:03 +0000" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(21) "Kimberly Dawn Neumann" } ["category"]=> string(114) "Dating Adviceadventureattitudebody languageeharmonyfriendsKindlelifematch.commeeting new peoplemenpatternswomenyes" ["guid"]=> string(34) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=3035" ["description"]=> string(580) "

Pullin’ on your party shirt, listening to a little Seether, returning a few last minute text messages about where “the gang” is meeting, sliding your keys off the table and heading out the door… but you are so not excited about going out tonight. Same places… same people wearing the same clothes, talking about the […]

The post How Do You Meet Someone New? appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(5059) "

Pullin’ on your party shirt, listening to a little Seether, returning a few last minute text messages about where “the gang” is meeting, sliding your keys off the table and heading out the door… but you are so not excited about going out tonight. Same places… same people wearing the same clothes, talking about the same things, doing the same things and hooking up with the same people… Week in and week out, its the same old thing.

You love your friends, but you know that doing the same ole same ole is doing nothing for your dating life. After all, you’ve explored all the possibilities within this circle, so how can you meet some new faces?

Change your playground.

If you’ve been prowling the same places night after night or going to the same dog park week after week, pick at least one new place a week and begin to expand your possibilities. If you’ve been on Loveawake… try Match. If you always go to the Belmont, try the new place that just opened up down the street instead.

Change your playmates.

Yes, I know, you love your friends and they love you, but its hard for a new person to approach you knowing that they are going to have to walk the gauntlet just to get to you or for you to break out of your pack to track down the cute girl who may be a bit out of your league. (Who wants to risk possible rejection in front of the friends who are going to drunkenly rib you about later?) Add to that your special friend language, code words, tight pack and well, you get the picture… not easy to break out or let others in.

Change your attitude.

Are you bored? Well, its going to come across as boring. Cynical? It’ll come across to a new person as “baggage” or “issues.” You get the idea. An attitude that’s positive, interesting and open to new people, ideas and events comes across as… exactly that. And that’s a good thing in the world of meeting potential dates.

So, lets say you’ve tried all of those things AND asked your friends to help you meet new people AND feel like you’re totally open when you’re out in the new places… ok, you’re past the basic fix so you might need to try a few different ideas in combination with the first three suggestions.

Remember the movie “Yes Man?” When someone asks you to do something new, say yes. If you’re invited to an outing where you don’t know many people, say yes. Been thinking about joining that sport and social soccer team but haven’t because your friends won’t go? Join and meet new people.

 

The post How Do You Meet Someone New? appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" } ["summary"]=> string(580) "

Pullin’ on your party shirt, listening to a little Seether, returning a few last minute text messages about where “the gang” is meeting, sliding your keys off the table and heading out the door… but you are so not excited about going out tonight. Same places… same people wearing the same clothes, talking about the […]

The post How Do You Meet Someone New? appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(5059) "

Pullin’ on your party shirt, listening to a little Seether, returning a few last minute text messages about where “the gang” is meeting, sliding your keys off the table and heading out the door… but you are so not excited about going out tonight. Same places… same people wearing the same clothes, talking about the same things, doing the same things and hooking up with the same people… Week in and week out, its the same old thing.

You love your friends, but you know that doing the same ole same ole is doing nothing for your dating life. After all, you’ve explored all the possibilities within this circle, so how can you meet some new faces?

Change your playground.

If you’ve been prowling the same places night after night or going to the same dog park week after week, pick at least one new place a week and begin to expand your possibilities. If you’ve been on Loveawake… try Match. If you always go to the Belmont, try the new place that just opened up down the street instead.

Change your playmates.

Yes, I know, you love your friends and they love you, but its hard for a new person to approach you knowing that they are going to have to walk the gauntlet just to get to you or for you to break out of your pack to track down the cute girl who may be a bit out of your league. (Who wants to risk possible rejection in front of the friends who are going to drunkenly rib you about later?) Add to that your special friend language, code words, tight pack and well, you get the picture… not easy to break out or let others in.

Change your attitude.

Are you bored? Well, its going to come across as boring. Cynical? It’ll come across to a new person as “baggage” or “issues.” You get the idea. An attitude that’s positive, interesting and open to new people, ideas and events comes across as… exactly that. And that’s a good thing in the world of meeting potential dates.

So, lets say you’ve tried all of those things AND asked your friends to help you meet new people AND feel like you’re totally open when you’re out in the new places… ok, you’re past the basic fix so you might need to try a few different ideas in combination with the first three suggestions.

Remember the movie “Yes Man?” When someone asks you to do something new, say yes. If you’re invited to an outing where you don’t know many people, say yes. Been thinking about joining that sport and social soccer team but haven’t because your friends won’t go? Join and meet new people.

 

The post How Do You Meet Someone New? appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1568642763) } [7]=> array(11) { ["title"]=> string(21) "The American Age Bias" ["link"]=> string(60) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2019/09/16/the-american-age-bias/" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Mon, 16 Sep 2019 13:34:14 +0000" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(21) "Kimberly Dawn Neumann" } ["category"]=> string(114) "Dating AdviceAmericabachelorcommitmentCultureindividualitylifelovemarriagemenoldrelationshipsusaweddingswomenyoung" ["guid"]=> string(34) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=3032" ["description"]=> string(534) "

You’re 38 and never married? Why not? What’s wrong with you? Can we talk about the age bias we have going on in the dating world? There seems to be an ideal age that one, theoretically, gets hitched in this life. While not official, that window seems to be 27-32. I don’t hear very many […]

The post The American Age Bias appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(5663) "

You’re 38 and never married? Why not? What’s wrong with you?

Can we talk about the age bias we have going on in the dating world? There seems to be an ideal age that one, theoretically, gets hitched in this life. While not official, that window seems to be 27-32. I don’t hear very many folks exclaim that someone is “too young” or ” a bit past due” when they announce nuptials in that age range. But woe betide the 24 year old who decides to marry or the 36 year old who never has married… then you hear comments like the following:

I could go on, but I’m sure you’ve all heard or said your own variations on the theme. Heck, I think I have as well. But when one of my friends made a comment like that the other day about a single guy we both know in his early 40′s, it really struck me sideways how unfair it was. I mean, we know some of his history and he’s got his reasons for never getting married and just because his reasons aren’t our own, does that make them any less valid? After all, to my grandmother, I’m just being too picky and need to find a guy that I get along with ok, but my thought is — why settle for ok? I think my reasons are pretty valid, but I don’t think she agrees.

Is there really such a thing as too young or too old? I mean, we all meet the old couples who fell in love at 17 and got married before he headed off to war and are still together 50 years later. Or the woman who resigned herself to life without marriage only to find the man of her dreams at 46 and is so glad she never settled. No matter the success stories, there seems to be an assumption that we have “ok to be single” expiration dates.

I suppose that’s valid for the having children part of things, but is it fair otherwise? Is a 44 year old never married single just hopeless? Is it truly inconceivable for a 23 year old to marry successfully?

Taking a look at assumptions makes one wonder if we should be letting these invalid singles live? Since they are such a hazard to other people, perhaps we should round them all up and send them to an island where they can’t hurt anyone!

Assumptions about the over 40 year old never married male:

Assumptions about the over 40 year old never married female:

Assumptions about the under 25 single guy:

Assumptions about the under 25 single girl:

We all know people who have fit into these stereotypes, but I know a LOT of men and women who don’t. It seems that the more I get to know someone, the less likely I am to put them in one of these categories. In fact, I usually come to agree with my older than average single friend or younger than average married friend’s decision to remain single or settle down young. Which makes me wonder why we are so quick to whisper or question the decision a relative stranger makes about marriage. I mean really… how well did you know the 40+ single person you “felt sorry for” at the last wedding?

So, why the pressure to conform to an average in a nation of people who celebrate individuality?

The post The American Age Bias appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" } ["summary"]=> string(534) "

You’re 38 and never married? Why not? What’s wrong with you? Can we talk about the age bias we have going on in the dating world? There seems to be an ideal age that one, theoretically, gets hitched in this life. While not official, that window seems to be 27-32. I don’t hear very many […]

The post The American Age Bias appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(5663) "

You’re 38 and never married? Why not? What’s wrong with you?

Can we talk about the age bias we have going on in the dating world? There seems to be an ideal age that one, theoretically, gets hitched in this life. While not official, that window seems to be 27-32. I don’t hear very many folks exclaim that someone is “too young” or ” a bit past due” when they announce nuptials in that age range. But woe betide the 24 year old who decides to marry or the 36 year old who never has married… then you hear comments like the following:

I could go on, but I’m sure you’ve all heard or said your own variations on the theme. Heck, I think I have as well. But when one of my friends made a comment like that the other day about a single guy we both know in his early 40′s, it really struck me sideways how unfair it was. I mean, we know some of his history and he’s got his reasons for never getting married and just because his reasons aren’t our own, does that make them any less valid? After all, to my grandmother, I’m just being too picky and need to find a guy that I get along with ok, but my thought is — why settle for ok? I think my reasons are pretty valid, but I don’t think she agrees.

Is there really such a thing as too young or too old? I mean, we all meet the old couples who fell in love at 17 and got married before he headed off to war and are still together 50 years later. Or the woman who resigned herself to life without marriage only to find the man of her dreams at 46 and is so glad she never settled. No matter the success stories, there seems to be an assumption that we have “ok to be single” expiration dates.

I suppose that’s valid for the having children part of things, but is it fair otherwise? Is a 44 year old never married single just hopeless? Is it truly inconceivable for a 23 year old to marry successfully?

Taking a look at assumptions makes one wonder if we should be letting these invalid singles live? Since they are such a hazard to other people, perhaps we should round them all up and send them to an island where they can’t hurt anyone!

Assumptions about the over 40 year old never married male:

Assumptions about the over 40 year old never married female:

Assumptions about the under 25 single guy:

Assumptions about the under 25 single girl:

We all know people who have fit into these stereotypes, but I know a LOT of men and women who don’t. It seems that the more I get to know someone, the less likely I am to put them in one of these categories. In fact, I usually come to agree with my older than average single friend or younger than average married friend’s decision to remain single or settle down young. Which makes me wonder why we are so quick to whisper or question the decision a relative stranger makes about marriage. I mean really… how well did you know the 40+ single person you “felt sorry for” at the last wedding?

So, why the pressure to conform to an average in a nation of people who celebrate individuality?

The post The American Age Bias appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1568640854) } [8]=> array(11) { ["title"]=> string(33) "What Do You Do With A Bad Kisser?" ["link"]=> string(71) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2019/09/13/what-do-you-do-with-a-bad-kisser/" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Fri, 13 Sep 2019 12:52:00 +0000" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(15) "Stella Painfree" } ["category"]=> string(126) "Dating Adviceattractionchemistrydatingdealbreakersfirst datekisskisserskissinglifelovelustmarriagemenrelationshipsromancewomen" ["guid"]=> string(34) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=3029" ["description"]=> string(595) "

Let’s set the stage…you’re excited. You waited to kiss her until the 3rd date since you really really like her and wanted to build a little anticipation. After a great night of flirting, little touches, laughter and lingering glances into a very interested second party’s pretty blue eyes, you quite simply can not WAIT to […]

The post What Do You Do With A Bad Kisser? appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(5818) "

Let’s set the stage…you’re excited. You waited to kiss her until the 3rd date since you really really like her and wanted to build a little anticipation. After a great night of flirting, little touches, laughter and lingering glances into a very interested second party’s pretty blue eyes, you quite simply can not WAIT to get to the evening’s finale. The big moment comes at the front door when she tilts her face up to yours and you just know she wants to kiss you as much as you want to kiss her. You lean in for the kiss and… find yourself ravaged by a tonsil hockey veteran and excess slobber all over the lower half of your face.

I don’t think I’m the only one to say… EWWWWWWWWW! What to do with a bad kisser?

What do you do when you get hit with a kisser who never learned finesse or whose idea of a “good kiss” is drastically different than yours? (I mean, I’m sure there are people thinking slobber is sexy. Its also possible that they own Hootch-like slobber hounds who have developed their tolerance for excess goo, but that’s only a theory…) If your date was marginal at best, that bad kiss is likely to end the relationship. But what happens when you REALLY really like this person? Do you take a hit for the team and stay in the game, or walk away to play another day?

I’m a bad kisser survivor and managed to turn it around. I had tact. I had knowledge. And I had plenty of motivation. So, I offered to give him lessons one night. Yes, he was that bad. One very interesting evening later and we had noticeable progress. Our relationship didn’t last very long, partly because of compatibility and partly because he was dating someone else without telling either of us. But I did manage to teach him how to kiss and his other girlfriend thanked me for it after we both caught him in his lies and kicked him to the curb. She and I are still friends. A story for another day. But I wouldn’t advise many to take the path I did because if I’d paid more attention to how he kissed, I may have intuited a lot more about how he treated women. Instead, I taught him how to mask those red flags and become a more wily womanizer. *sigh* You live and learn.

But I digress from the bad kisser dilemma… What to do?

As far as I can tell, there are 4 death kiss situations:

Different Technique Kisser

This kisser just doesn’t know how to tickle your toes. They are either too much or too little on the scale of what revs your motor. Verdict: SALVAGEABLE. If you communicate, you may be able to get around this particular problem if interested enough in the potential relationship. I’d say to go gentle and ease into any conversation around it. Show and Tell is perfect. Start with positives about what you really like and then give an example. Many times, the longer a couple is together, the more their likes and dislikes begin to mesh. So a little patience goes a long way here.

Bad Technique Kisser

Too much slobber, tight little bird pecks, tonsil hockey and the like. Verdict: PROCEED WITH CAUTION. Like my example, you can teach but I’d recommend really looking at what you think is so bad. Is he really selfish? Is she kind of cold? Doesn’t respond at all to your body language? Don’t ignore these kinds of signs. Some people are just clueless and don’t know what they’re doing. That’s workable. But if you think the kiss is bad for other reasons… think again before continuing. Kisses can be very revealing about character.

Bad Breath Kisser

Verdict: USUALLY AN EASY FIX… two words “Tooth” and “Brush.” Try for a second “first kiss” in fresher conditions. However, if you have (or are) a halitosis Hal… sometimes a doctor or diet change can help, but if not… it may end up being a deal breaker for the finicky.

No Chemistry Kisser

It can really really suck (no pun intended) to absolutely love being around someone who you can talk to for hours without pause, go in for a kiss and feel like you’re kissing your sibling. I don’t know what to say about this one. Some people tell me that they developed chemistry over time. I never have. That doesn’t mean its not possible, just that if its not there for that kiss… it tends to never show up (for me.) Have you ever kissed someone, felt nothing or even was turned off and managed to turn it into something romantic anyway?

I don’t know what to think about the couples who decide to not kiss until the wedding day. I mean, talk about potential for disaster adding all that pressure to something that is usually sweet, simple and private between two people. Part of me admires the self-discipline and part of me just thinks they are nutso-bonko (to borrow a phrase from one of my favorite people) to take that kind of gamble. I know that they’re building on something important by developing the emotional, intellectual, spiritual and psychological first… but completely missing the physical? Hummmm…

Quite literally, it can really suck to date a bad kisser but it would be much worse to be married to one.

The post What Do You Do With A Bad Kisser? appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" } ["summary"]=> string(595) "

Let’s set the stage…you’re excited. You waited to kiss her until the 3rd date since you really really like her and wanted to build a little anticipation. After a great night of flirting, little touches, laughter and lingering glances into a very interested second party’s pretty blue eyes, you quite simply can not WAIT to […]

The post What Do You Do With A Bad Kisser? appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["atom_content"]=> string(5818) "

Let’s set the stage…you’re excited. You waited to kiss her until the 3rd date since you really really like her and wanted to build a little anticipation. After a great night of flirting, little touches, laughter and lingering glances into a very interested second party’s pretty blue eyes, you quite simply can not WAIT to get to the evening’s finale. The big moment comes at the front door when she tilts her face up to yours and you just know she wants to kiss you as much as you want to kiss her. You lean in for the kiss and… find yourself ravaged by a tonsil hockey veteran and excess slobber all over the lower half of your face.

I don’t think I’m the only one to say… EWWWWWWWWW! What to do with a bad kisser?

What do you do when you get hit with a kisser who never learned finesse or whose idea of a “good kiss” is drastically different than yours? (I mean, I’m sure there are people thinking slobber is sexy. Its also possible that they own Hootch-like slobber hounds who have developed their tolerance for excess goo, but that’s only a theory…) If your date was marginal at best, that bad kiss is likely to end the relationship. But what happens when you REALLY really like this person? Do you take a hit for the team and stay in the game, or walk away to play another day?

I’m a bad kisser survivor and managed to turn it around. I had tact. I had knowledge. And I had plenty of motivation. So, I offered to give him lessons one night. Yes, he was that bad. One very interesting evening later and we had noticeable progress. Our relationship didn’t last very long, partly because of compatibility and partly because he was dating someone else without telling either of us. But I did manage to teach him how to kiss and his other girlfriend thanked me for it after we both caught him in his lies and kicked him to the curb. She and I are still friends. A story for another day. But I wouldn’t advise many to take the path I did because if I’d paid more attention to how he kissed, I may have intuited a lot more about how he treated women. Instead, I taught him how to mask those red flags and become a more wily womanizer. *sigh* You live and learn.

But I digress from the bad kisser dilemma… What to do?

As far as I can tell, there are 4 death kiss situations:

Different Technique Kisser

This kisser just doesn’t know how to tickle your toes. They are either too much or too little on the scale of what revs your motor. Verdict: SALVAGEABLE. If you communicate, you may be able to get around this particular problem if interested enough in the potential relationship. I’d say to go gentle and ease into any conversation around it. Show and Tell is perfect. Start with positives about what you really like and then give an example. Many times, the longer a couple is together, the more their likes and dislikes begin to mesh. So a little patience goes a long way here.

Bad Technique Kisser

Too much slobber, tight little bird pecks, tonsil hockey and the like. Verdict: PROCEED WITH CAUTION. Like my example, you can teach but I’d recommend really looking at what you think is so bad. Is he really selfish? Is she kind of cold? Doesn’t respond at all to your body language? Don’t ignore these kinds of signs. Some people are just clueless and don’t know what they’re doing. That’s workable. But if you think the kiss is bad for other reasons… think again before continuing. Kisses can be very revealing about character.

Bad Breath Kisser

Verdict: USUALLY AN EASY FIX… two words “Tooth” and “Brush.” Try for a second “first kiss” in fresher conditions. However, if you have (or are) a halitosis Hal… sometimes a doctor or diet change can help, but if not… it may end up being a deal breaker for the finicky.

No Chemistry Kisser

It can really really suck (no pun intended) to absolutely love being around someone who you can talk to for hours without pause, go in for a kiss and feel like you’re kissing your sibling. I don’t know what to say about this one. Some people tell me that they developed chemistry over time. I never have. That doesn’t mean its not possible, just that if its not there for that kiss… it tends to never show up (for me.) Have you ever kissed someone, felt nothing or even was turned off and managed to turn it into something romantic anyway?

I don’t know what to think about the couples who decide to not kiss until the wedding day. I mean, talk about potential for disaster adding all that pressure to something that is usually sweet, simple and private between two people. Part of me admires the self-discipline and part of me just thinks they are nutso-bonko (to borrow a phrase from one of my favorite people) to take that kind of gamble. I know that they’re building on something important by developing the emotional, intellectual, spiritual and psychological first… but completely missing the physical? Hummmm…

Quite literally, it can really suck to date a bad kisser but it would be much worse to be married to one.

The post What Do You Do With A Bad Kisser? appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["date_timestamp"]=> int(1568379120) } [9]=> array(11) { ["title"]=> string(37) "What to Do When the Ex Wants You Back" ["link"]=> string(76) "https://blog.loveawake.com/2019/09/13/what-to-do-when-the-ex-wants-you-back/" ["pubdate"]=> string(31) "Fri, 13 Sep 2019 10:51:03 +0000" ["dc"]=> array(1) { ["creator"]=> string(21) "Kimberly Dawn Neumann" } ["category"]=> string(178) "Dating Issuesadvicebreaking upcheatingcommitmentcommunicationdatingDating Advicedealbreakersexeshonestylifelovelustmarriagemenpainrelationshipsrespectself-esteemthe exwisdomwomen" ["guid"]=> string(34) "https://blog.loveawake.com/?p=3026" ["description"]=> string(584) "

After interviewing so many people, I’ve heard stories about how getting back together was the best decision they ever made or the worst train wreck in history that ended with someone in jail. And everything in between. I suppose it really comes down to the two people involved and the motives at the heart of […]

The post What to Do When the Ex Wants You Back appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

" ["content"]=> array(1) { ["encoded"]=> string(5321) "

After interviewing so many people, I’ve heard stories about how getting back together was the best decision they ever made or the worst train wreck in history that ended with someone in jail. And everything in between. I suppose it really comes down to the two people involved and the motives at the heart of it all to figure out if its going to stick or not. But what do you do when that person is you and your ex is trying to get you back?

If you’ve been avidly following my blog, you may have seen my post about being friends with the ex. Its possible to have a great friendship, but what happens when your ex starts breaking the “friends only” rules? Here you are, in a good relationship/new relationship/exciting relationship/recovered your mojo phase/etc and up pops your ex with talk about how great the two of you were together, what if you tried one more time…

Oh great! What to do now?

  1. If you are in an ex’s cross-hairs, take a good look at your heart. Do you still have feelings for this person? We all know, at some level, that no current partner can stack up to a relationship ghost. So, it seems to me that taking the time you need to deal with your feelings may be a good idea. I’ll be honest here, if you’re dating a person who knows their own worth, they aren’t likely to wait around while you figure it all out… so think long and hard about this one. Did you really have a good thing worth going back to?
  2. If you don’t think its a good idea to try again, you’re going to have to be firm and stand your ground. It may mean losing someone you consider a “friend.” But in my honest opinion, a friend isn’t someone who steps in the way of you moving forward in life, tries to manipulate your heart or sabotages a good thing. Your ex may be acting with pure intentions (or not) but if you don’t think you have something worth salvaging, then you’re going to need to walk away. Not only for the sake of your heart and anyone’s heart you’re involved with… but for the sake of your ex who needs to move on.
  3. Or are you somewhere in the middle? Maybe its a good idea… maybe its not a good idea. Maybe you might still have feelings for your ex, maybe not… Ok, you are firmly in the quick drying cement about to get rolled over by K-k-k-ka-ken in his cement roller. Take a look at a few things before you make a decision.

I know, I know… It’s flattering, in some ways, to have an ex want you back. And easy to get swept up in the moment of glorifying what you had in the past and dreaming that it might be worth resurrecting. I’m not here to say it never works out, because sometimes it really does. But most of the time you broke up because something was broken and if you throw over something great now for something that may or may not be fixable… well, love is risky. Beautifully risky anyway you slice it. Just consider your options carefully and make sure you’re dealing with reality and not wishful thinking.

The post What to Do When the Ex Wants You Back appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

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After interviewing so many people, I’ve heard stories about how getting back together was the best decision they ever made or the worst train wreck in history that ended with someone in jail. And everything in between. I suppose it really comes down to the two people involved and the motives at the heart of […]

The post What to Do When the Ex Wants You Back appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

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After interviewing so many people, I’ve heard stories about how getting back together was the best decision they ever made or the worst train wreck in history that ended with someone in jail. And everything in between. I suppose it really comes down to the two people involved and the motives at the heart of it all to figure out if its going to stick or not. But what do you do when that person is you and your ex is trying to get you back?

If you’ve been avidly following my blog, you may have seen my post about being friends with the ex. Its possible to have a great friendship, but what happens when your ex starts breaking the “friends only” rules? Here you are, in a good relationship/new relationship/exciting relationship/recovered your mojo phase/etc and up pops your ex with talk about how great the two of you were together, what if you tried one more time…

Oh great! What to do now?

  1. If you are in an ex’s cross-hairs, take a good look at your heart. Do you still have feelings for this person? We all know, at some level, that no current partner can stack up to a relationship ghost. So, it seems to me that taking the time you need to deal with your feelings may be a good idea. I’ll be honest here, if you’re dating a person who knows their own worth, they aren’t likely to wait around while you figure it all out… so think long and hard about this one. Did you really have a good thing worth going back to?
  2. If you don’t think its a good idea to try again, you’re going to have to be firm and stand your ground. It may mean losing someone you consider a “friend.” But in my honest opinion, a friend isn’t someone who steps in the way of you moving forward in life, tries to manipulate your heart or sabotages a good thing. Your ex may be acting with pure intentions (or not) but if you don’t think you have something worth salvaging, then you’re going to need to walk away. Not only for the sake of your heart and anyone’s heart you’re involved with… but for the sake of your ex who needs to move on.
  3. Or are you somewhere in the middle? Maybe its a good idea… maybe its not a good idea. Maybe you might still have feelings for your ex, maybe not… Ok, you are firmly in the quick drying cement about to get rolled over by K-k-k-ka-ken in his cement roller. Take a look at a few things before you make a decision.

I know, I know… It’s flattering, in some ways, to have an ex want you back. And easy to get swept up in the moment of glorifying what you had in the past and dreaming that it might be worth resurrecting. I’m not here to say it never works out, because sometimes it really does. But most of the time you broke up because something was broken and if you throw over something great now for something that may or may not be fixable… well, love is risky. Beautifully risky anyway you slice it. Just consider your options carefully and make sure you’re dealing with reality and not wishful thinking.

The post What to Do When the Ex Wants You Back appeared first on Loveawake.com blog.

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