05.11.2011., subota



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When Things Weren't This Complicated

When Things Weren't This Complicated



Before you go any further, I'm telling you now. I'm going to vent like a mofo in this photo's story.

Alright. So last night at pho, while I was texting, my phone froze. So of course, my first thought was, "Hey, it's a smartphone. Does it all the time. I'll just take batter out." So I proceed to do that. And.... my phone doesn't turn back on. I take the battery out and leave it for a little bit, and turn it back on. It seems to work... But freezes after a certain point. So now, I'm getting a bit annoyed. Especially nowadays, phones and iPods and what not have become a very vital part of a person's life... And I just had this feeling like I was completely lost without my phone. And then night had only just begun.

So I put my phone away, thinking about dealing with it later. And I continued with enjoying my night.

After we finished eating, Julian, Junho, and I decided to go outside and take some photos of random things.

I found out my 50mm f/1.8 is... well basically broken. The focus ring constantly gets stuck, and sometimes in manual mode, I can force it back and force, but if I switch to AF and try to use it, it will become stuck again. So on TOP of my phone (my other half, basically) breaking... MY ONLY LENS BREAKS.

So I came home extremely upset. This was at 4AM today. After I got into bed, I attempted to tinker with my phone a bit, to see if I could get it to work. Nothing.

I was too tired to keep trying, so I left it taken apart for the night, thinking maybe time will do it good. And as for my lens, I would worry about that further in the morning. (4:30AM was rolling around the corner)

I wake up at 8AM. . . . . . Because of how upset I was that my phone wasn't working... My gut literally forced me awake.

I laid there, looking at my phone. And... I tried again to start it. Nothing. I even hard rebooted it. And it got stuck on the booting screen... Even after a fresh start.

So here I am, 3.5 hours of sleep, phone gone, camera dead, and I was to spend the whole day walking around Seattle.

I ended up calling into customer support and getting a repair for my phone, so before I left for Seattle, I sent off my phone. So now I am using an outdated phone, and it's making everything ridiculously inconvenient.

That's part 1 of my rant. Here is part 2.

A couple days ago, I was with a friend at the beach, and I mentioned about throwing this... thing... away. A charm, that I kept on my bracelet, as a symbol of hope and faith that things would come full circle with a certain person I've been having troubles with lately. My friend told me that I HAD to keep it. And at first, I refused. Because I had had enough of the hope and faith bullshit, and I was ready to walk away. They say one of the hardest things in life is to decide whether to try harder, or to walk away. Well I was done trying. It became wasted effort. But... I ended up keeping the stupid charm on my bracelet.

After I graduated high school, I thought I was done with the bullshit drama that happened between friends. I thought we were all mature enough to take care of shit when we thought something wasn't right from the beginning, not let it sit in a pile and grow and end up making a huge deal out of nothing. And because I'm the type of person to continue to cherish and hold on to people, no matter how shitty they treat me, I let this person walk all over me, take advantage of my vulnerable position, and give up in the end of our friendship. It confuses me, it really does... how humans are far more vicious and animalistic than... Animals. It amazes me how complex we are, and how we, even if we are "good", always plan for things to work out in our favor, whether others got hurt or not. But... I chose to finally let go. This is the first time that I.... gave up... on someone. But... it kinda feels ok.

What happened to just living life... to just live and not have worries.

I know it's a random jump in story, but Peter Pan has always been my favorite Disney movie... Because to me, "growing up" has always been something I despised, because I HAD to grow up at such a young age. When I was 7, my brother was born, and I basically became his mother as my mom went to work to help support the now expanded family. I am now 20, and for 13 and going years, I forfeited my childhood so I could take up these responsibilities. I even quit school to go to work, because I had my own bills and other bills to pay. And for a time, I worked 60 hours weeks between two jobs so I could have more money to be comfortable.

And now, when I watch this movie, I just think of all the.... complicated things in life. And I become jealous of Peter's life. Sure, in an adult's mind, we would consider all bad aspects of his lifestyle: No morals, no rules, no parents, nothing is real.
But... to look at it from a broad perspective, Peter just knows how to have FUN and to never worry about adult things.

I walked across Seattle tod

Automatic Ford Fiesta L for SALE, yes a 1988 Automatic!

Automatic Ford Fiesta L for SALE, yes a 1988 Automatic!

Automatic Ford Fiesta L
Price: ?450 o.n.o.
3 Door Hatchback
Date of First Registration: 1988
Cylinder Capacity: 1117 CC
Fuel Type: Petrol
Colour: Green
Gears: Automatic (a rare early model)
Mileage: 65,704
NEW: Pioneer MP3/CD Player (original radio included in sale too)
NEW: 2 x 110Watt and 2 x 130Watt Pioneer Speakers
FREE: Haynes Ford Fiesta Service and Repair Manual
No. of Former Keepers: 3 (two of which in same family)

No MOT or tax – declared off road because owner has been working abroad.
Car needs some work: only sested for collectors or people looking for a project.

Contact: evie*at*cockroach.org.uk

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